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Daughter & I got into a huge argument....HELP

 
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Beauty620 View Drop Down
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    Posted: Sep 07 2017 at 2:01pm
Monday night I had it out with my 16 1/2 year old daughter because im so fed up with her feeling like she can't get her butt on the bus to go to school which is less than 3 miles away. She's a really good kid and her grades are up to par, she's a senior now and is B-C average in school. So to make a long story short we got into it really bad, she kinda pushed me back (which really shocked me) because never in a million years did I expect that from her. I pushed her against the wall with force at that point I was so fed up with hollaring at the top of my lungs as well as her....to call her dad to come pick her up. He end up picking her up and she's now staying with him....for how long...not sure. Question is her birthday is this sunday and she will be 17. I want to know should I get her a small gift? send her a card? text her happy birthday? What to do???? This was the fist time we've ever had it out like that, and I don't want to just leave her for dead because I did raise her on my own for a good 15 years. So what should I do...nothing...or buy something small to let her know mommy still loves you?
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india100 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote india100 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 07 2017 at 7:09pm
First , I would like to offer my empathy . I am a first time mom in her 50's . My daughter recently turn 12 . No problems so far . NHS Member etc . I am a great great Aunt . A few made the mistake of disrespecting Auntie once .Wink Never allow your daughter to strike you under any circumstance . I wish you had some form of evidence on film to document in case she ever attempts to assault her mom . Call the police .

Try to find a professional to work with you and to keep a legal record of her actions. I know many black police officers that are willing to help scare the crap out of a teen like her . She needs to visit a women prison . I would ask her father to keep her for at least a few months . You sound like a loving mother .
She will miss everything you do for her . . Teens today will kill a good parent for something simple . You never know . Give her a small gift , like a watch or perfume for example  avoid things she may have ask for prior to assaulting you . Dad needs to have you back. I would have a meeting with the man . You raise the child , now it's his turn . We are living in a crazy world . You never know when will be the last time you see your love one . Only reason I think you should gift her and remind her how you love your daughter . Time to put yourself first . 

I think the way you are responding is too non authoritative for many people. Our society has swung too far into the responsive area for too many issues and it’s starting to show, in public, in education, in church, just in the diversity of parenting that we didn’t have before. People are unsure how to parent and when the overly humanitarian skills give the child permission to continue to be impulsive and leave the parent bearing the brunt of more and more impulsivity then everyone pays the price, including the kid. Children need boundaries and parents need to tell them what is acceptable and what is not. I agree, not blasting them with their own anger but making the point then and there and yes, when the child is calm doing the teaching necessary. We have TO GET OFF of this train of permissiveness and get back to our parental authority for the children’s sake. Their anxiety levels are out of the roof because we let them do anything. That is what they are perceiving! Not, controlling them and being the big bad parent but guiding them into being a person in our society not a brat, and an eventual non compliant juvenile. Good luck . God bless .


Edited by india100 - Sep 07 2017 at 7:41pm
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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2017 at 12:53am
Call her on her birthday to make amends. Don't apologize because she was in the wrong. Something along the lines of : Daughter I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I am saddened by what transpired the other day. I want you to know that I love you and I would die for you; however, I won't allow what transpired to happen again. I want you to enjoy your birthday and hope that you and I can sit down and bring this all to a close because we need to address it. 

Don't get her a gift. 
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 09 2017 at 3:50pm
Were you two arguing because you don't want to drive her to school anymore?
Or was it because she is skipping school? Were you pushing her and then she pushed you back?

Anyways, I would call her and say what khivey suggested. She needs to apologize for pushing you, but you screaming obviously isn't the way to get your child to do something. There needs to be mutual respect.
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book worm View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote book worm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 15 2017 at 12:01am
I hope you and your daughter were able to talk and make amends.
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