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Dating vs "Come Over and Chill"

 
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loveandpeace1984 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote loveandpeace1984 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 19 2013 at 2:10pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

LOL Yea come over and chill means something going down....I usually don't mind Embarrassed
 
This is why we are pals Clap
It don't even have to go down, we could have a great discussion. I rather know the person first than start wasting money on someone. If I like them as for my track record, I have no problem doing dates and all of that. I just want to make sure it's real we don't have to be at my place, just somewhere we can talk and get to know each other and not wait 6 months when feelings are starting to be caught when we realize they aren't the one.
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KhadiNiaomi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote KhadiNiaomi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 20 2013 at 8:38am
I invited a guy over my house that I liked to chill, we were just "friends", there was obvious attraction between us two but we never spoke about it. Even though I took a risk, we ended up having a really good conversation and alot of laughter. I honestly dont like the whole lets go to a restaurant or movies just to "chill", thats wasting money, to talk. I prefer to go to the park, or somewhere to just chill and talk.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 20 2013 at 3:36pm
Originally posted by KhadiNiaomi KhadiNiaomi wrote:

I invited a guy over my house that I liked to chill, we were just "friends", there was obvious attraction between us two but we never spoke about it. Even though I took a risk, we ended up having a really good conversation and alot of laughter. I honestly dont like the whole lets go to a restaurant or movies just to "chill", thats wasting money, to talk. I prefer to go to the park, or somewhere to just chill and talk.


I think as long as you keep control of you and what you want - which is to get to know him better without giving the prize away without a relationship or at least some dating - is what matters.

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MaPetite View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote MaPetite Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 22 2013 at 2:58am
When I was single, guys always tended to ask me to "hang out"; seeing as I don't know what this "hanging out" meant my answer was always no without asking for clarification. I figured if they didn't know to ask me on a date they weren't my type. All guys focus on is the cost of the dates... it's like nicca please, nobody needs your money to eat, however I'll be damned if I'm gonna come over and sit on the edge of your bed so you can "get to know me". A date doesn't have to mean a 5 star restaurant, most of you guys are just making excuses, if you wanted to talk and get to know someone without wasting money ask them to grab a cup of coffee. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Majesty02 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 29 2013 at 9:43am

 I think it depends on several factors. Usually if a guy justs "wanna come over, chill & get a Redbox movie" within the first couple dates, it means one of the following:

 

A.     He’s young

B.     He’s cheap as h*ll

C.     He’s not that into you, and places low value on you.

D.     He’s just wants sex

E.     He’s use to most of his females falling for this nonsense. So he wants to see if you’ll let him get away with it.

 

I also think it depends on how you carry yourself and the caliber of men you attract/date. Most sensible mature men know that if they have a woman of substance it will require some work to obtain her, and to keep her interested.  Majority of the men I date know not to try me with that “lemme come ova eh chill gyal”.  Lol. I usually don’t allow a man to chill at my house, or go to his until after at least 2 mths of consistent dating.   

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demilee27 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote demilee27 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 30 2013 at 1:36am
exactly, I have to tell men all the time that I dont go over a mans house until I feel comfortable. When they ask for my number and we first talk and he askes me what I wanna do, I say we can meet at a coffee house and talk.
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Allure. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Allure. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 05 2013 at 7:10am
Clap Good read!
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 05 2013 at 10:01am
That website has much more stuff, I read everything already haha
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Allure. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Allure. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 05 2013 at 10:58pm
Im torn on some parts of these scenarios. 

Putting $$ value on ur vagina, is not going to get u a quality man. If a man wants u just for sex, he'll spend money on u, make u feel special, put game on u...have sex with u...and leave u. Then, that woman ends up getting played, right? OR was she playing herself the whole time? Those standards meant nothing to the man, he played his part in your life and met all of your requirements for the moment, only because he wanted sex.

How a man feels about u determines if he will stay with u. He's not staying around just because he spent money on u, took u on a few expensive fancy dates...none of that. How he genuinely feels about u determines if he will leave or stay. Having sex on the first date won't necessarily put u in the hoe zone in a man's mind. Chilling at home and watching Netflix with a guy doesn't automatically mean he won't ever take u seriously. 

My relationship with my husband started out chilling together, watching movies and anime, and ordering take out. We just wanted to be around each other, and spent as much of it together as possible.  We both had busy schedules, so our time together were our escapes and we loved it. Call it cheap dates if u want to. It was what was good for us. We eventually started going out more when he stopped working so much and moved closer to me. There were fancy expensive dates, and what u would call "cheap dates". But every moment was special to us. Even a picnic at the botanical gardens were special, because of the creativity and effort he put into it.


Edited by Allure. - May 05 2013 at 11:09pm
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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2013 at 9:08am
I haven't read the article I posted in this thread in a while but in another post on that website, it says that the guy doesn't have to spend top money to show he likes you, especially because some men spend money just to take the girl to bed.

So, it's not about how much money the guy spends on you but how much time he spends with you and the quality of that time. If all he wants is for you to come over so he can try to get into your pants, most likely he just wants you for sex.
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