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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Dating vs Come Over and Chill
    Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 5:45pm
Does he think youre worth taking out of the house

While watching the first season of Game of Thrones something struck me about the medieval world they live in. Every woman has value. From the whores to the princesses to the Queen, none sold themselves short of what they were worth. We have this violent world where powerful men do battle, but not once do we see a woman throw herself at a man because of his status. If you want easy coochie you pay for it, if you want the prettiest girl in the land, you make her your wife before you even get to taste it. Isn’t it ironic that in a much more civilized world, the value of women has degenerated and the value of so-called “Hoes” has risen? There was something on twitter about a $200 date, and it was hilarious how some dudes went off with the broke Brotha anthem of, “If I pay that much I better be “. The outrage not only speaks to the lack of value modern day men place on females, but it also speaks on the fact that a lot of women are out here spoiling men with cheap coochie. I’m not talking about placing a monetary value on your vagina, but there should be an investment on his part to prove that he is serious about you.  Time and energy are the biggest investment a man can make to show that it’s real. If he spends time getting to know you, then puts in the energy to see you and put a smile on your face, he’s committed to something. It could be getting the coochie or it could be getting a girlfriend, it doesn’t really matter initially, as long as he’s showing that you have value. If a man values a woman, he respects her, and only from that respect can a real relationship grow. One of the biggest complaints I hear is that there is no more courting; men don’t put in work. Everything would be perfect if the guy you really liked made an effort to do all of the romantic things guys are suppose to do when trying to court a woman. I laugh at that sh*t, because men figured out a long time ago that a woman who’s thirsty for love is worse than a guy who’s thirsty for coochie. No matter how loud you complain about not going out, never spending real time, or feeling unappreciated, if you like him enough you will continue to talk to this kind of man. Let me break it down with a Hoe example, because they stay winning. Remember I’m talking about Hoes who for things, not sluts who because of things. Hoe is such a cool word to say, many people confuse the two.  Unlike a slut, a Hoe isn’t going to a guy because she think he’s cute or is driving something nice, she’s going to him because she’s getting broken off with something of value.

toast to paying that billSo we have a Savvy Hoe in this corner she’s cute, knows how to accentuate her positives, and bait men. In the other corner, we have a Classy Lady. She thinks she’s classy because she has morals and doesn’t care what a man has, only if he’s nice to her. Our Classy Lady meets a guy, starts to talk to him daily on the phone, and after a week this feels real because the Brotha has game. Classy Lady wants to see her new boo, and keeps asking when they’re going to go on a date. The guy is too busy to go out to dinner and a movie, but she can come over anytime after work. Maybe she shouldn’t go over his house this early in a relationship, she’s classy, but they talk everyday and it feels like she’s known him forever. She promises herself she’s going to stay classy and not do anything sexual with him. HA! So the classy lady goes over the guy’s house to chill. Maybe she *&%^$#@Es him, maybe she doesn’t, but 9 out of 10 times, it’s already a wrap because once a guy knows you’re a “Come Over And Chill” girl he’s going to have you coming over all the time until he smashes. You’ll meet his family, spend time in-between sex talking about life, dropping hints about a relationship you want to be in, and you’ll think it’s going somewhere. Once he smashes and gets his fill of your cheap coochie that he didn’t have to work for, he’ll get busy again. Watch him make an excuse as to why you can’t come over this week, and a few weeks after that the only communication comes in the form of half ass text messages. The Classy Lady just got GOT.

The Hoe on the other hand isn’t thirsty for love; she’s more concerned with getting in his pocket than getting a boyfriend. The Hoe meets the same guy, but she’s not going to come over and chill with him, she’s going to tell him (Hoes always tell, never ask) to meet her at some swanky restaurant, she’s going to eat and drink, play with his dick in the car, then leave while he’s hard. The guy’s turned on, she touched his dick on the first date, so in his “I’m a pimp” mind he’s confident he can shorty the next time. That entire first date was a bait to get this Brotha open, in the words of Andre 3 Stacks, “These Hoes Are Smart…”  Homie tries to get her to chill at the crib, but again the Hoe avoids the basic bitch house date, and continues to get him out in public where she can spend his money and do her Trick research to see if homeboy is cashing out or in the struggle. If he has a few dollars then she’ll keep seeing him, his brains out after she gets a pair of shoes or a bag, and see what else she can get with her coochie MasterCard. The catch is she’s secretly doing the same sh*t with one or two other potential sponsors, auditioning these Brothas until she hits the jackpot. If he’s a broke dude, she’ll keep the coochie, stop answering his calls and move on to the next dude who’s holding, hurting his ego and breaking his heart because this trick thought he had her open. Hoes are the reason men fear $200 dates and run the opposite direction when a girl asks, “can you get my hair done” because they probably got took or knows a few dudes who got took by Hoes. Don’t think because some Hoes are winning that you should follow that lifestyle, little ghetto boys shouldn’t drop out of school and try to become Tony Montana, and frustrated girls shouldn’t close their heart and start hoeing—few are built for that life. However keep one thing in the back of your mind when thinking about Hoes—Value. A Hoe knows her value, it may be a ratchet ass Juicy Couture bag or it may be a condo on South Beach, either way she got something. A real lady of class has to know her worth too, not the worth of her coochie, but the worth of her heart. It all starts with courting and how a man treats you on that first date…

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sexyandfamous View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 5:46pm

The Come Over And Chill Girl:

Lets Chill babyIf you see a commercial for Olive Garden and tweet, “I wish someone would take me out to eat” yet you have a “friend”, you’re losing. The “friend” you’ve been on and off for months should be taking you out to eat, not the strangers on your timeline. If a Brotha hasn’t treated you to the movies since Taken came out, you’re losing. Liam Nesson’s found time to do ten movies since Taken; you couldn’t find one guy who liked you enough to pay 3D non-matinee prices? Why the are you settling for date night at a bum Brotha’s crib that consists of hard dick, reheated chipotle, and a bootleg Kevin Hart DVD? It blows my mind how women get caught up with a user, let him put all kinds of mileage on her coochie, and never see the inside of his car during the daytime. Time and Energy! He’s investing time to talk a good game and get you open enough to come over, but where’s the energy? The hardest part of relationships for lazy men isn’t talking on the phone and playing the “I really like you” game, it’s leaving his comfort zone to go out. Finding something to wear, gassing the car up, thinking of somewhere to take her, missing his NBA2K online league—is that really work? Brothas do not want to be bothered with taking a girl out, its energy they would rather spend doing sh*t they actually want to do. Some Trailblazer had a genius idea years ago, he came up with the concept of “come over and chill” which is Latin for “You’re not worth the effort so come over, sit on the edge of my bed, watch Netflix, and drink this Peach Ciroc until you’re tipsy enough to let me finger you“. Delivery coochie– brilliant!

Women actually fell for this come over and chill bullsh*t because for those ladies thirsty for love it’s better to sit on the edge of a new guy’s bed and get molested than to sit on the edge of your own bed and Facebook stalk your Ex. Just because going over to chill is something to do, doesn’t mean it’s something you should do. Ask to go on date, better yet, steal a little bit of confidence from the Hoes and TELL him you want to go on a date. Stop being happy just to have a man like you! Not only is he supposed to like you he is supposed to worship you. Your charisma should be so electrifying that any guy who is privileged enough to go out on a date with you should be going out to buy new clothes, getting his car waxed, and scouring Yelp for the most romantic places he could take you on a first date. Getting a bad chick to say “yes” to a date should be like winning the lottery, don’t let him take you for granted as if you’re just another bitch. You are the Queen of Sparta, owner of a 24-karat coochie that these peasants aren’t even worthy to smell. Show confidence, and you will always be treated like quality! Remember you’re a lady not a Hoe, so it’s not about getting sh*t out of him except time and energy. He doesn’t have to drop a lot of money on the date to show you he values you, it’s the effort he’s putting in, not the star rating on the restaurant that’s most important. Furthermore, don’t accept his excuses; if he wants a woman of your stature then he’ll sacrifice time to make it happen. Stop letting these ordinary ass Brothas tell you how busy they are. Mark Zuckerberg is busy, Barack Obama is busy, but they found time to take the women that would later become their wives out on real dates. He had time to come pick you up, take you back to his crib, and spend two hours trying to , then he had time to take you out on a real date. Demand respect, know your value, and going over to chill.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 5:48pm

The Only Option Is The Best Option?

It wont get betterThis one girl shot me an email trying to figure out a way to tell her “friend” that she wanted to go out and do things, and said they hadn’t gone on an official date since the first week they started talking. At the heart of the problem was her fear that if she were too pushy he would cut her off. Welcome to the wonderful world of “A sh*tty option is better than no option“. If a woman hasn’t had a guy holla at her in months, she begins to think something is wrong with her, so when a guy who’s her type finally does come around, she falls in deep. He may not take you anywhere, and you may be bored and frustrated 80% of the time, but it’s better to be talking to this lame Brotha then to be out in the club hoping for someone to come over and ask your name. Wrong! Women always have options. You like him, he’s witty, and he’s handsome—three stars. On the other hand, all he wants to do is smoke and chill, he doesn’t really want a relationship yet you’re always over his crib giving up that coochie like it’s his, and he only makes time to do things he wants to do—three strikes. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Do you like this man because he treats you good, or do you like him because he’s the only guy around to treat you at all? I talk to women all the time and I do understand that it can be hard for some to find an attractive guy who even has the nerve to ask for your number, but that’s no excuse for handcuffing yourself to the first one that asks you out.

Don’t sell yourself cheap because you like his complexion and think he’s funny. Don’t take up for his laziness and claim that you’re a homebody, you know damn well you’d jump at a chance to do something exciting. Even homebodies like to get out to six flags once in a while. Call these men out on their bullsh*t from jump street, if the Dog from Lady and the Tramp had his bitch eating Italian, a grown ass man can afford to take you out of the neighborhood. If you start a relationship by making it easy for him he’ll always treat you like a cheap date, why should he change when being lazy and not doing sh*t for you has gotten him this far? Don’t wait until you’re at your breaking point to leave him alone, the moment you feel like he’s not putting time and energy into making your friendship grow into something more, rectify it or move on. Being by yourself is always a better option than being devalued.

BallingI remember being cursed out by a girl I was seeing and it really opened my eyes to how females wait until the very end to voice their concerns. She had been distant the last time she came over to “chill with me” and we ended up not having sex, which really pissed me off because she lived pretty far for me to be transporting her ass for company. She called when I got home and asked why I didn’t take her out anymore, complained that I don’t make her feel pretty, and said she was sick of crying every time I dropped her off. It blew my mind at first, but I had to be honest with myself and let the truth in. I didn’t want to take her anywhere, all I wanted was to hit it when I was bored, and in the words of Onika, “If she ain’t trying to get it then she get dropped off“. We had fun, she was pretty as all hell, but something was missing, so it was dick and DirecTV for her. As much as I liked her, I didn’t value her at all. Instead of being a man and telling her after the first few weeks it wasn’t going anywhere, I continued to gas her head up and use her for what I wanted. Not once did I think about what she wanted until I was confronted on the phone that night. Here was a girl that looked like the chicks Brothas rap about, sweet and polite as she can be, and I was being a jerk, holding her back from being with a man who would have worshipped the ground she walked on. I’m glad she stood up for herself and put her foot down because she helped me become a better person, after her I never treated a woman like that again. The point is ladies; we men will take advantage of you for as long as you let us because it doesn’t feel like we’re doing anything wrong by keeping you as our Come Over And Chill Girl. In order to have a legitimate relationship we have to value her first. When beginning any new relationship no matter how serious it is or not, know your worth. Demand to be more than a Come Over And Chill Girl and regardless if he works out or not, he’ll always respect you for having the standards of a Khalessi.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 5:49pm
I just loved everything I read because, although I am no basic b!tch, I have made the mistake of falling for the old "come over and chill" instead of being treated to a real date.


Oh, and I got all that from
http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2012/06/dating-vs-come-over-and-chill.html
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 6:35pm
dating is the same thing as coming over and chill.  If a guy wants you to come over, chill and fuck maybe he is just into making a big deal out of "dating", it is not necessarily and insult to the woman.  

The idea that a guy whining and dining you means he likes you more and is more respective is also flawed, too many guys try to buy affection, which women should find more insulting.  


Edited by jimmy_rustle - Apr 02 2013 at 6:40pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 7:02pm
Word. Only by watching if his actions and his words match that one can be sure that the guy likes her or just wants some sex.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 10:50pm
No man makes excuses not to see a woman he likes, but he will create a laundry list to avoid the women he doesn’t like. Open your f*cking eyes, if he was down for you, he would be around you. Where’s that man you’re refusing to talk to other guys for? Where’s that man you’ve been bragging about online? Where’s the man that you’re thinking about right now? He’s where he wants to be, and clearly that isn’t with you.

http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2013/01/unavailableoruninterested.html
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 11:16pm
This is the TRUTH.
Clap

I feel like everything is so black and white with men and us women try and add all these gray areas to justify certain actions.
(See, "He's Just Not That Into You" or that episode of SATC where Carrie introduces Berger to her friends)

If he wants to take you out, he will.
He has no reason to if you're still gonna come over, watch Netflix, and let him smash.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 11:30pm
@missdeeluxe OMG I know what you're talking about, I read the book and I watched that episode of SATC! It was hilarious in the end when Miranda tried to spread the info to a girl who was finding excuses for this guy who wasn't calling and the girl called her a b*tch! That's exactly how many girls take the truth nowadays: it's right on their face - the guy just wants to hit it - but they insist that he is having a "hard time" at work.....
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 02 2013 at 11:46pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

@missdeeluxe OMG I know what you're talking about, I read the book and I watched that episode of SATC! It was hilarious in the end when Miranda tried to spread the info to a girl who was finding excuses for this guy who wasn't calling and the girl called her a b*tch! That's exactly how many girls take the truth nowadays: it's right on their face - the guy just wants to hit it - but they insist that he is having a "hard time" at work.....

Exactly!

I feel like relationships and dating in general is so much less stressful and confusing if you just take the guy approach and be straight forward with everything.

I just gave the guy I've been casually seeing an ultimatum and he stepped up, surprise surprise.
LOL

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