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Dating Men w/ Kids

 
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Findingmyme View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Findingmyme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2013 at 9:24am
Originally posted by Chi_town75 Chi_town75 wrote:

As someone who just got out of a tumultuous relationship with a guy with children, I would advise against it if you do not have kids. 

I thought I could handle it until I got involved with a man who had one child previously that he never saw (strike one). Then another child surfaced while we were dating, which he said to not know was his until his most recent ex asked him to have a paternity test (strike two). I thought I could handle a newborn child until the mother went completely psycho and did everything in her power to use the kid as a means to drive a wedge between he and I. Well, being my naive self, I said I could handle it and that I was in love and blah blah blah. Well, during our relationship another child surfaced. It was with an ex that he claimed to have "drunkenly slept with" about a month before we officially became bf/gf (strike three). I thought I was going to lose my mind. I'm like, I came into this relationship with absolutely no children and probably the most ba ge I did have was student loans, lol. 

I learned the hard way. There were times when our dates would be completely derailed because he had to tend to his child(ren). Hell, there were times when baby mama's felt like they could call at all hours or show up to MY HOUSE at any time they damn well felt like. It became such a burden, in addition to the other 80 million other problems that surfaced, that I had to call it quits. My sanity could not take it anymore.

Think it through. A lot of people told me the same and I ignored them because I wanted to play the Big Girl role. Yup, got the rude awakening of a lifetime. I'm currently with a guy with no children whatsoever and I like it that way.



Whoooo chile!!!! This reads like what my sisters best friend is currently experiencing! She meets what she deems as the perfect guy, when they started darting he said he had no children, as time progressed, he tells her he has a son that lives in another state, being so in love she overlooks it and continues with the relationship.

Time goes by all is well, she ,meets the child and begins to form a relationship, after a few months of relationship bliss, he drops a bomb that he has another child, but with the same woman as the son she has already met, she begins to question why doesn't the second son ever come visit and he gives her a believable excuse. Life goes on and she begins to further question why the other child is never present, and he finally tells her that the other child has a different mom who he was previously engaged to and not on good terms with so he doesn't get to see the child. She for some reason decides to continue with the relationship.

Time continues to pass and here comes a third child, with a third woman! Thru all this she is currently engaged to marry this man along with his 3 children and their 3 mothers. It couldn't be me, but to each his own! Throughout this whole saga she has delt with so much drama, from him, the mothers, and even his own family, she has went thru enough to scare me straight. I just pray that somehow this works out for her because she is a good person who is just looking to be happy.
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uppitynegroid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2013 at 12:24pm
Originally posted by Findingmyme Findingmyme wrote:

Originally posted by Chi_town75 Chi_town75 wrote:

As someone who just got out of a tumultuous relationship with a guy with children, I would advise against it if you do not have kids. 

I thought I could handle it until I got involved with a man who had one child previously that he never saw (strike one). Then another child surfaced while we were dating, which he said to not know was his until his most recent ex asked him to have a paternity test (strike two). I thought I could handle a newborn child until the mother went completely psycho and did everything in her power to use the kid as a means to drive a wedge between he and I. Well, being my naive self, I said I could handle it and that I was in love and blah blah blah. Well, during our relationship another child surfaced. It was with an ex that he claimed to have "drunkenly slept with" about a month before we officially became bf/gf (strike three). I thought I was going to lose my mind. I'm like, I came into this relationship with absolutely no children and probably the most ba ge I did have was student loans, lol. 

I learned the hard way. There were times when our dates would be completely derailed because he had to tend to his child(ren). Hell, there were times when baby mama's felt like they could call at all hours or show up to MY HOUSE at any time they damn well felt like. It became such a burden, in addition to the other 80 million other problems that surfaced, that I had to call it quits. My sanity could not take it anymore.

Think it through. A lot of people told me the same and I ignored them because I wanted to play the Big Girl role. Yup, got the rude awakening of a lifetime. I'm currently with a guy with no children whatsoever and I like it that way.



Whoooo chile!!!! This reads like what my sisters best friend is currently experiencing! She meets what she deems as the perfect guy, when they started darting he said he had no children, as time progressed, he tells her he has a son that lives in another state, being so in love she overlooks it and continues with the relationship.

Time goes by all is well, she ,meets the child and begins to form a relationship, after a few months of relationship bliss, he drops a bomb that he has another child, but with the same woman as the son she has already met, she begins to question why doesn't the second son ever come visit and he gives her a believable excuse. Life goes on and she begins to further question why the other child is never present, and he finally tells her that the other child has a different mom who he was previously engaged to and not on good terms with so he doesn't get to see the child. She for some reason decides to continue with the relationship.

Time continues to pass and here comes a third child, with a third woman! Thru all this she is currently engaged to marry this man along with his 3 children and their 3 mothers. It couldn't be me, but to each his own! Throughout this whole saga she has delt with so much drama, from him, the mothers, and even his own family, she has went thru enough to scare me straight. I just pray that somehow this works out for her because she is a good person who is just looking to be happy.
 
Damn to both your stories.
 
Aside from the drama, I can't stand the idea of an irresponsible man repeatedly having unprotected sex.  You do know where babies come from right?
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CherryBlossom View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote CherryBlossom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2013 at 12:31pm
I don't even want kids of my own atm so dating someone with them is totally out of the question.
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MissinCali View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote MissinCali Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2013 at 1:59pm

I love kids, the only way I could date a guy with kids is if the Mom was dead.. I know that sounds harsh but I can't deal with babymamas.

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ShadyLady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 04 2013 at 2:04pm
The worst is dating a man with a clingy child.

A few years back, I dated a dude who had a young daughter. Her mama was still into that club life and running the streets, so I think the little girl needed female attention.

Within weeks of meeting her, she started telling me she loved me every time she saw me. A few months in she asked if she could call me mommy, and cried cuz I told her no cuz it might hurt her mommy's feelings.

After we broke up, she would have him call me so I could say goodnight to her before she went to sleep.

I swore off men with kids after that and stuck to it for about four years, so you know I have to REALLY love this dude to stick around after his son moved here.
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