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glamrock View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 4:09pm
Originally posted by wavylady wavylady wrote:

Some guys will go out with a girl and ask her to pay for half and then turn around and spend that same money he saved on another girl!!Angry
Don't go for it ladies!!You can always tell alot about a person by what their checkbook or check card is used for.  So if he likes you, he's gotta spend something on you or put some serious thought into a romantic but inexpensive date.(if he is strapped for cash and you know it)
That's my 2 cents
 
That is the honest truth. I have a lot of close male friends that are like brothers to me and I have seen them pull the okey-doke many times. A guy that is saving for a house or is paying off his student loans can still take you on a very nice date on a budget. Low cost doesnt mean low quality. The same guy that is crying broke will go all out if he really likes a girl whether it is high or low budget. If he is shady or possible hasnt been been taught to date, he will put out the request to go dutch. (Then spend the money that he saved on the next chickConfused).
 
I have attempted to give guys I was dating gas money before and the response is normally, "please put that away, im handling this". The ones that accepted  were typically the type that wanted to "sit up in the house and chill" and were quickly deleted from the cell phoneWink
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BonaFideDiva View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 4:10pm
Originally posted by SimpliGorjuss SimpliGorjuss wrote:

BFD, lol, girl you are a trip!
 
Well, when I think of culture and dating, I do think culture has to do with it.  But look at what the poster child for women are saying. I mean, Destiny's Child asked brothas to pay their bills on their first album, second album rolls around, and they're all about independence; then, an album or two later, they want a thug....I mean, what message are these men getting when there's really no stability in what we women want...?
 
And what do we want?
 
Great post...I'll post my two cents later...but interesting thread! Embarrassed


Well, if you listen to the song BILLS BILLS BILLS, they guy was driving her car, using her cell phone, burning up all her gas, and using HER credit card to buy HER gifts. WTF is that? He BETTer be paying some bills bills bills! And I find that the so-called 'thugs' take better care of me financially versus the clean cut guys. (((cheap azzes!)))

Im waiting for the rest of ur two cents, LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 4:12pm
Originally posted by bkgirl1981 bkgirl1981 wrote:

Originally posted by shonuffaharlem shonuffaharlem wrote:

Originally posted by BonaFideDiva BonaFideDiva wrote:

Shonuff: Why cant you be successful and independent and still have a man pay? When I think of success I think of my career. When I think of independent, I think of paying my own bills. Its just dinner - Im not throwing the cable bill at him. LOL


I agree but I know this is how some men think.  I keep the rules simple.  If I ask you out I pay.  If you ask me out, you pay. 
 
 
I agree-that's me-I'll pay if I ask you out. Also, I know a lot of women don't agree with this, but I ALWAYS pay for myself on the first date.


Ya dayum skippy I dont - my wallet is nowhere to be found on site on ANY date, LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 4:14pm
There is this guy that I have been chatting with since July. He was supposed to come over Friday night and never showed. So because this mofo happens to be in my neighborhood now, he calls and asks to come over. I referenced Friday and he laughed and said, that was then this is now. I told him that Im not busy and I am NOT interested in seeing him.

But just like Binky said, I know he did that because he is a pro athlete and chics let him get away with that all the time. Well BFD is NO ONE's groupie.Thumbs Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 4:18pm
I am not sure if it has to do with your culture. Im from South America and my feelings are  if you ask for the date you pay for the date. I dont see anything wrong with going after a man if you know he is what you want. Im nit saying beg him or anything like that but there nothing wrong with being a little aggressive and asking him out. JMO
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 4:23pm
Wavylady: that seems invasive. If I'm dating someone (not married or engaged) how does his wallet become my buisiness? Do/did you allow a man to do this to you? I would be very offended if someone I dated felt the need to know what my checkbook is used for.
 
If my family has a motto, it'd have to be, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." Looking back, I think that we grew up thinking that men and women are the same; that chivalry is nice, but not necessary; and that honesty is the most important thing to ask of someone else. On the other hand, my family is overwhelmingly female. It goes unsaid, but the underlying feeling is, "if you wait around for a man to do something, you're going to have a long wait."
 
Other than that, I think it's all about common sense. My family instilled in me not to put up with anyone that seems to have any kind of angle. I am just as mistrustful of the man who leans out a car window, shouting and honking as the man who wants to walk me to the door.
 
I guess I was a mean girl. Very unsympathetic. But I've saved myself a lot of heartbreak while enjoying men.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 4:29pm
Originally posted by LonnieGee LonnieGee wrote:

I am not sure if it has to do with your culture. Im from South America and my feelings are  if you ask for the date you pay for the date. I dont see anything wrong with going after a man if you know he is what you want. Im nit saying beg him or anything like that but there nothing wrong with being a little aggressive and asking him out. JMO
 
That makes total sense to me. That's how I date. If I asked someone out, it's okay to foot the bill. I don't mind asking a man out. It's better than waiting for him to ask me out. I'm really annoyed by guys that try to be coy or schmoozy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 5:47pm
Oh no I just meant that if you were to look at any man's checkbook or bank statement, you can tell what he likes and what is closest to his heart.  Like if he likes cars or has a certain hobby.  If the guy is into you for real then he will want to spend money on you if you are close to his heart.  But I agree with the second part you said.Tongue
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 5:51pm
Originally posted by Mimi84 Mimi84 wrote:

Finding a true gentleman in this day and age, is like finding gold in the sand.  Sometimes I don't blame the gold diggers, the guys can be so lame
 
I have to agree. My bf and I were at the movies and sometimes he opens the door (entrance door) and sometimes I just walk on in and keep it moving, sometimes it just actually depends on what kind of mood I'm in, but we saw this white guy opening the car door for his date and my bf turns to me and says, "Where I come from if you want to get in or out you open your own damn door." and I replied, "Where I come from if you want to get anything from me and I mean anything, there better be some doors opening around the place."
 
Mind you, I love my boyfriend and all, but he has a real hood mindset. It's embedded in him. But he does try to make an effort and I appreciate it and he is opening doors now.
 
But I say that to say that there is a difference in how men are raised and that's why the things most women consider gentlemanly aren't done anymore. A lot of men aren't raised knowing how to treat women, or basic manners and they just go with what they see.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 09 2006 at 10:50pm
I love your response Capri - that is what it takes sometimes.

Wavy lady ur right. Even the bible says that your heart is where ur seed is...
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