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Cry for help - I HATE MY HAIR!! What do I do?

 
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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 5:39am
My hair is in such horrible condition since August 2012. I literally just had a break down of what's going on with my hair. It's to the point where I'm depressed and beating myself up now.

August 2012 - Got invisible braids for college. They kept falling out.
Late August 2012/September 2012 - Got 1 pack of hair online for 50$, spent additional money to make clip ins
October 2012 - Bought Cuticle Kiny Straight hair, made clip ins
November 2012 - Got invisible braids with Janet Remy Collection (cost me about 180 for 2 packs). Braids kept falling out. Hairstyle didn't even last ONE week! I spent 150 on the hairstyle as well. 
December 2012 - Purchased AAMH Kinky Curly. That sh*t is a tangling & matting mess. 
January 2013 - Purcahsed a closure and 2 packs of virgin hair to make a wig/weave in hopes of my hair getting a TRUE break. I ordered a certain length and measured it They sent me the wrong length and I sent pics of the hair with a ruler. They refuse to give me money back. Also spent money on bleach to bleach the closure and dome cap and glue and thread and needle.

What do I do at this point? Braids fall out no matter how much I spend, hair is too short for a weave, clip ins get frustrating but I always go back to it. When I was 15, I cut of all my hair and wore a wig (the wrong way  may I say) from January to May, when it was long enough for those kinky twists braids. I continued to wear the braids from May 2009 to May 2010 when my hair ALMOST reached shoulder length (the longest it ever was). I ruined it with the constant flat iron for summer 2010 to match with the clip in extensions.  Since then my hair's been downhill. I'm 19 now and in college. I've been moisturizing my hair with JCBO, argon oil, massages, deep conditioner weekly, wrap my hair up to avoid daily flat ironing, been taking biotin. It's like what the heck am I doing wrong?! 

Nice hair that isn't short is what makes me attractive, sadly. I'm getting so freaking tired of  doing this buit I can't "rock" a short haircut. My hair has broken off so much to the point where the back of my head and the sides are less than 1 inch. Vertically down 5 inches of my head (minus the sides) the hair loks as if "someone cut it off". 

I guess you can say I'm insecure with my hair short. I admit that. But now I'm starting to hate myself for foolishly spending money EACH month (the money I get from the government by the way) in hopes of a way to grow my hair while looking attactive. At home, I could hide my hair as long as I wanted to and not go out. But here, I can't do that. I got to share a bathroom with a bunch of white mixed and latina girls with LONG beautiful hair. That's all I want. Just long beautiful hair. I just want to shave it all off again and start over using a wig but I just tried to use a wig with a lace closure and it was COMPLETE sh*t! I just wish I could do something with my hair to the point where it will just grow and I can use natural looking extensions while it's growing. 

I was so excited for this wig. I was going to get my hair cut down nicely and I wanted to do something like this  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uHTPMrOIW0&list=PLbS2Q9LIBx9zjJlVbQJmOWiflIj8yVzXk&index=1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uHTPMrOIW0&list=PLbS2Q9LIBx9zjJlVbQJmOWiflIj8yVzXk&index=1

looks simple, right? Well I must have bad luck because apparently I can't even do that with my closure. I followed all the Youtube tutorials on how to do make the wig. I just...I don't know, I guess I'm ranting.I holed myself up in my dorm since 3PM yesterday (it's 6:35AM) because I'm just so sick of my hair and how nothing ever works out! My battle with my hair all my life has been so frustrating. I hate hairstyles that look unnatural and fake. That's why I was really excited for the closure. I am LITERALLY broke right now until January 31st. 

Please any advice to help me out, especioally with my hair One thing I absoloutely refuse to do is wear my hair short all on its own. I think it's best I shave off all my hair again. When it didn't have chemicals in it. I just want something that I can wear over my hair while I'm growing it out with VERY little leaveout. 


Edited by peaceloveandcurls - Jan 10 2013 at 5:44am
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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peaceloveandcurls Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 6:11am
trying to get ready for class .. putting my clip ins. this is all the leaveout i have :( http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2vdsbqt&s=6
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sugabanana View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 6:30am
Babes sorry your are going through this while in school. You best bet right now is to leave your hair alone. You hair is screaming at you saying leave me the efff alone. Do some favors around campus and come up with some money to by or make a wig. Even if it looks unnatural you can tweak it yourself to lok better. The flat iron is not your friend right now. Leave the clip in alone.
I can even see that your edges are starting to go. Rock a wig and take care of your hair underneath. The less you touch it the more it grows. Just keep it moisturized and conditioned.
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ms.blue View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ms.blue Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 6:57am
#1. Stop getting invisible braids
#2. Jbco and argan oil doesn't moisturize hair...they are sealants.   You need to look for water based moisturizers (first ingredient must be water) then seal with jbco or any type of oil.
#3. You need to do a protein treatment followed by moisturizing treatment one week then every week do a moisturizing deep treatment to help with your protein/moisture balance.

What were the lengths of the hair you bought? Sometimes you have to buy 3 bundles or more to make a wig. Just keep trying to make the wig and eventually it will come out right.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote starliteboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 7:49am
I think you need to just leave your hair alone for a while, I recently shaved all my hair off just to start over and at first I was super nervous about being seen in public with no hair but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Granted I do have my lace wigs to wear when I want to but walking around in public isn't that bad either. I think you need to stop worrying about what other people might think and just do you. I do think you need to cut the permed ends off and start anew with your hair. I am a natural hair female and I won't ever put a relaxer in hair. Have you looked at videos on Youtube about women doing the big chop and how they style their hair after its been cut. Maybe they will inspire your creativity and give you some ideas on how to rock your hair. I am not a weave expert I am more into lace wigs, have you ever tried getting a lace wig? To me way more easier then weaves.
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MsMahoganyRed View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MsMahoganyRed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 9:19am
Originally posted by ms.blue ms.blue wrote:

#1. Stop getting invisible braids
#2. Jbco and argan oil doesn't moisturize hair...they are sealants.   You need to look for water based moisturizers (first ingredient must be water) then seal with jbco or any type of oil.
#3. You need to do a protein treatment followed by moisturizing treatment one week then every week do a moisturizing deep treatment to help with your protein/moisture balance.

What were the lengths of the hair you bought? Sometimes you have to buy 3 bundles or more to make a wig. Just keep trying to make the wig and eventually it will come out right.

Agreed!  As a suggestion, you can also just moisturize your hair with water (as long as your water isn't hard).  I came to this realization a year ago that 90% of the time all I need is to ensure I put water on my hair...as I used to when I was younger.

As for the braids - please stop getting them - not only a waste of money but it's not helping with your growth.  Good luck!
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Cream1970 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cream1970 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 8:14pm
Invisible braids aren't a protective style at all. Not sure how long your own hair was when you wore them, but if done correctly, they should've lasted 2 months at least.
 
A wig would def be the most protective. My hair grew like crazy when I wore half wigs. I would get curly ones so I never had to put heat on my hair. (I never put heat in my hair, only once or twice  in the last 10 yrs ,just to see how long it was w/o shrinkage)
 
Also, you need to determine if your hair needs moisture or protein or both. There are several sites that have tests that can help you determine this as well as what products to get.
 
Good luck!


Edited by Cream1970 - Jan 10 2013 at 8:15pm
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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peaceloveandcurls Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 10:21pm
Check Next Post please :) 

Edited by peaceloveandcurls - Jan 10 2013 at 10:44pm
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peaceloveandcurls View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peaceloveandcurls Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 10:40pm
Ladies, I cannot reply to your posts seperaratley - for some reason I'm getting "denied access"

sugabananaThanks. I'm desperate to get my hands on ANYTHING that looks natural and will give my hair a break. I want my hair to be MBL. :( I am selling my fridge for 45 bucks and then Im getting 60 bucks from something else...so I'm just gonna save up til I have enoug for a glueless lace front or something. 

YES, I agree that wearing a wig will help my hair grow. I did that when I was 15 and even though it took 4 months to get it to a length where it could be braided, it was all natural and virgin! Cry This time I'm motivated. As long as the wig looks good on me, I can keep it on til I reach my goal! SmileI have a mix of glycerine, coconut oil, and argon oil. I found last year (and believe it or not my hair was in MUCH better condition!) that when I put glycerine on, it didn't ever feel dry. 

ms.blue - I agree with you. I use a mixture of argon oil, coconut oil, & 100% vegetable glycerine. The glycerine keeps it from feeling dry. Should I add some water? The lengths were supposed to be 14" but they're 12". Still trying to get them to give me at least SOME of my money back! Unhappy The wig is done though. From top (closure) to bottom. I used a dome cap but it just feels like it won't stay. This weekend I'll take the closure off and try to experiment with it. But I may eventually just try to get a glueless full lace wig. I just fear it will look wiggy, unnatural, and ghetto Unhappy

starliteboo - you're right. I just want to shave off my hair and let it grow under that wig for over a year. See what happens as summer 2014 comes. I am thinking about a glueless lace wig, i'm just afraid it won't look right. I was once a natural hair female as well but I got this new flat iron in May 2012 .... all I know is my ends would be coming out straight when i'd wash them. I feel it'll be a HUGE weight off my shoulders to get it all shaved off and start a new. Just as long as that wig looks right lol LOL Yes, I did watch the videos years ago when I was 15. I hoped to have my hair fully natural and shoulder length by my high school graduation....ended up wearing it flat ironed with clip ins. -_- Or should I just cut off the bad ends? I don't know, I feel it won't grow that much if I just cut off the hairConfused  I hate to sound like I care what people think. For some reason during my breakdown that kept crossing my mind -- what happens if I FINALLY meet that guy I've been looking for and the wig gets in the way? I feel like I made a big deal about what other people think about is because I found when guys get touchy, they LOVE to touch my extensions! I hate that. You won't believe the things I make up or do to keep their hands away LOL

MsMahoganyRed - I'll take your suggestion to try the water. Yes, I'm DONE with the invisible braids and sh*t. I remember using those kinky twists. They helped soo much with my hair because on average, I'd gain 1/2 - 1 inch of new growth a month and I could easily feel it because as I'd feel my scalp, I'd feel new growth. What about box braids? I'm thinking about those for the summer. I'm going to end up staying on campus due to family problems and working two jobs here so I need something simple and will contribute to my growth if the wig won't work out. Hopefully the wig can be something that's quick and easy to put on every morning while still looking flawless. I see these Youtube gurus putting on their closures and wigs and it looks flawless. But when I do it ... Thumbs Down

Cream1970 - Thanks! i'm gonna look for those sites. Yes, I'm SO done with these little braids. Quick question - will thicker braids such as box braids or individuals be a better option for me? I found when I put 100% vegetable glycerine on it to attract moisture, my hair felt soo healthy. Then again, at the time I was wearing the clip ins and flat ironing -_- so maybe it'll be different if it's all braided :)


I would really appreciate if I could have a few forum friends to talk to about my hair issues - I have NO black female friends on this campus (they're all Asian ... lmao) and I got to have someone to motiviate me and someone to go to for advice. 


Edited by peaceloveandcurls - Jan 10 2013 at 11:10pm
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darlinnic View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote darlinnic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 10 2013 at 10:48pm
HUGS!!!

1. get a wig
2. come visit the hair growth sections in this forum.  The ladies are friendly and super nice..if you are determined, we will work to get your hair on track.
3. I will be your forum friend :)
Darlinnic
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