Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Relationships
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - crush advice needed
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

crush advice needed

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Bootiful Cream



Author
*braidbeauty* View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: May 24 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 595
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote *braidbeauty* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: crush advice needed
    Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 9:46pm
Hey ladies. I would appreciate some advice. I have a crush on a guy at work. He works in a different department and we do not know each other and haven't even spoken. I just see him occasionally in passing in our building. Every time I see him and we make eye contact, he either looks away quickly or just avoids eye contact completely. I HATE THIS! I really want to get to know him, but I am an introvert and initiating conversation is quite daunting for me. Plus we are never in an environment that gives me the opportunity to introduce myself. I am not sure what to make of this. On one hand, I want to just forget about this guy because i have liked him for over 4 months and it has gone NO WHERE. He seems to be uninterested. But on the other hand, there could be different factors that are making him hold back (he may want to avoid a workplace relationship, he may not have a lot of experience dating black women, he could be in a relationship, he is a cancer and they tend to be quite sensitive, shy and protective of themselves/others). I don't know if I should take the eye contact thing as lack of interest or as him maybe being interested but unsure of how to proceed. I don't want to make excuses for him because he is a grown ass man that should be capable of going after what he wants, however I do acknowledge that for some this is easier said than done. I really want to approach him (not in a desperate or unprofessional way) and get to know him. What is the best way to do this in a casual way? I have tried to forget about him, but knowing myself I will not be able to move on with my infatuation until i experience for myself whether this guy could be right for me or not. I hate having to live with what-ifs. Thanks so much in advance.
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
AffirmativeBunny View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Nov 29 2010
Location: Melbourne
Status: Offline
Points: 160547
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote AffirmativeBunny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 9:59pm
Hmmm that's a really tricky one hey.
Have you spoken to him at all before?
You said he is a cancer... how did you find that out?
Next time you make some eye contact just smile and say hi. Sometimes men just need to be nudged in the right direction. Or if you tend to bump into him in the same place everytime say something like "we must stop meeting like this" but remember to smile. Just make it very light-hearted you know. I really wish I had better advice but these things tend to be very tricky especially if it is a work thing.
 
Back to Top
GLAMAFROMNY View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: Aug 24 2008
Location: US - New York
Status: Offline
Points: 535
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GLAMAFROMNY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 10:22pm
Next time u see him just say "Hey my name is .....and I work in the .....dept, I usually see you around. What's your name" I agree with the little nudge. If anything he might be just as shy as u

Back to Top
khivey View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 22 2004
Location: San Diego, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 18936
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 12:08am
He knows you're interested in him and he wants to make it utterly clear that he is not interested. Trust me, a man who is interested or attracted to you would at least smile and say hello. And stop stalking that man's job profile...hahaha You don't know him but you know he is a Cancer hahahaa
Back to Top
BBpants View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 24 2011
Location: No1curr
Status: Offline
Points: 197915
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 12:22am
LOL..He probably doesn't want to talk to you if he's avoiding eye contact
Back to Top
Midna View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 02 2010
Location: Hell
Status: Offline
Points: 234082
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 3:28am
I would never recommend after going for someone in the workplace...

Also, if the guy is avoiding eye contact intentionally, that's not a good sign..
Back to Top
*braidbeauty* View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: May 24 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 595
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote *braidbeauty* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 1:01pm
Hey all, thanks for your advice. I found out he is a cancer by stalking his facebook page I had to make sure we would be compatible and astroloically we are (cancer and Scorpio). I too have concerns that he isn't interested because of the eye contact thing, but some say guys who do that may actually like you but are shy. Is that more common in teenage boys? I don't think he knows I like him. We don't see each other enough for him to have any idea that I like him. I don't think my body language shows it either. bunny, you asked have I talked to him? No, I have not:(
Back to Top
Emily Loretta View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 21 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Status: Offline
Points: 8734
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Emily Loretta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 2:56pm
If you were interested, you would say something. I always go up and talk to guys I like. But I'm extroverted and a socialite, I love to meet new people. I'm not sure about you, but when people say hi to someone, the other person usually responds with a hi back. I honestly never got why shy people think that someone wouldn't talk to them back. Anyways have you ever thought that by NOT speaking him it makes YOU seem like your uninterested. Hell I hold my mail mans gaze sometimes; staring does not mean you like them it means they happened to be in the way when your eyes landed in the direction. Either man up and speak to him, or watch as some other woman is a go-getting socialite gets him, and then you can't say anything because it was your own fault for not saying a word.
Back to Top
*braidbeauty* View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: May 24 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 595
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote *braidbeauty* Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 11:36pm
Emily, thanks for your advice. I actually tell myself this in my head. It is easier said than done because that's just how I've always been, even as a child. Plus, I have a way of thinking negative thoughts about how things will go if I do say hello. I am trying to work on building my confidence. But you're totally right, if I don't take a chance, I could miss out on a great opportunity.
Back to Top
Emily Loretta View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Jan 21 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Status: Offline
Points: 8734
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Emily Loretta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 18 2012 at 10:16am
Originally posted by *braidbeauty* *braidbeauty* wrote:

Emily, thanks for your advice. I actually tell myself this in my head. It is easier said than done because that's just how I've always been, even as a child. Plus, I have a way of thinking negative thoughts about how things will go if I do say hello. I am trying to work on building my confidence. But you're totally right, if I don't take a chance, I could miss out on a great opportunity.


Do you have a guy friend or girl friend you can practice on? Try practicing to say hello. Or even better, dress up sexy, break out of your norm, go to a mall outside of your town, far outside your town, create a new persona for yourself and go practice to say hi to hot guys at the mall and be flirty.  
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Little Black Scarf
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down