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BeatriceBean 
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 Topic: Coping with Grief- Agree or Disagree?
Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:27pm |
Being strong whenever you're grieving something.
Example:
I was at my husband's nephew's funeral in NO this past weekend. This young man left behind a wife, two young daughters and a 10-year-old son.
The son cried throughout the funeral. At the repast, his uncle (father's brother) grabbed him by the shoulders and told him to square up and be strong. "You're the man of the house and everybody's looking to you to be brave. A man doesn't fold and your dad was a real man. You gotta look out for your mom and your sisters and you can't do that with tears in your eyes."
Hypermasculine ills aside, has "being strong"--i.e. putting on a brave face--helped you cope with a loss of any kind, be it death, divorce, job loss, etc?
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Bunnyahh
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:30pm |
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Everyone grieves in their own way & crying is good for everyone, male or female. The uncle was wrong. Being human & crying does not make you weak
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Bunnyahh
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:32pm |
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I wish somebody would tell my boys to stop crying in front of me. Heads will roll
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PurpleHaze
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:32pm |
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<<has "being strong"--i.e. putting on a brave face--helped you cope with a loss of any kind, be it death, divorce, job loss, etc? >>
yes it helped me.
I don't agree with what the uncle said though.
Edited by PurpleHaze - Feb 07 2013 at 4:37pm
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niecy
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:33pm |
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IMO sometimes "being strong" only makes things worse. Although everybody grieves differently not everybody can be okay with not crying to release steam. Sometimes shedding a few good ones is a nice relief.
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india100
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:36pm |
I think it's awful when people try to tell you how to grieve . People said I look like I had drugs in my system when I lost both my parents and several other family members in the last few years . I went off when I heard about it . Unless a person is trying to pick the body up out of the casket , shut up . I hate when people try to take you away from the coffin also . My aunt / Mom sister said I look like i was on drugs . She passed 2 weeks ago . Her children went crazy at the funeral .
Edited by india100 - Feb 07 2013 at 4:37pm
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PurpleHaze
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:36pm |
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when my sis died, we were concerned because my nephew didn't cry; and he was there with her when she died. We thought he would be a basket case. He was only 8. His dad said 'oh that's just how men are.' He's from the school that men/boys don't cry too. I hate that.
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tatee
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:38pm |
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im so sick of stupid rules.
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SweetNovember*
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:38pm |
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This wouldn't work for me. I tend to be a really dramatic person.
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FarraFace
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Posted: Feb 07 2013 at 4:39pm |
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Somebody should have smacked that man and told him to STFU. Then hugged that child and told him to cry til the tears stopped. I'm sure the uncle meant well, but damn can the baby grieve for a week or two?
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