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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 14 2014 at 9:14pm
I’m starting to think – and seriously believe – that I’m not well.  (I was going to say “unstable,” but I don’t think that’s accurate).  I’m constantly self-diagnosing – five minutes ago I was diagnosed with a variation of Munchausen Syndrome.  I’m questioning whether my issues are self-created and/or self-inflicted.  What if I’m so twisted that I’ve convinced myself that I was depressed, had OCPD, and MDD (I haven’t been officially diagnosed with that, but I’m not in denial about it). I don’t know.  I wanted to see a psychiatrist and get medication and my mother didn’t understand why.  Medicine isn’t the end-all-be-all and she doesn’t think that I should use it.  (She went on to say that it was ultimately my decision).  I’ve tried the traditional therapy without medicine and I’m still here.  But, the whole conversation made me think – maybe I’m standing in my own way.  If I really don’t have these problems, if they’re self-created, then doesn’t that mean that I can snap out of it at any time?

Is this denial? Confused

This reminds me of the time when I truly believed I was a medical mystery.  I had all of these symptoms – unexplainable symptoms – and all the while the doctors were telling me I was fine.  I started to believe that I created these symptoms and made myself believe they were occurring.  I was later diagnosed with a few things, so I guess that doesn’t count.

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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 1:10am
this shouldnt hurt as much as it does...
it never should have been this way...
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ms_wonderland View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 4:57am
i find a way to justify every fcked up thing i do.  i'm starting to see that having a high moral code really doesn't get you anywhere in the long run.  you still end up with exactly what you want.  but there are some codes that you have to stick to like being loving towards kids and animals, not being a backstabber, and not cursing at your mother...donate time, donate things, don't kill anyone.  as long as i stick to the code i can pretty much do everything else.  im keeping my needs first.  life is too short.
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 7:38am
Lmao that's a great list Wonderland.
Something about the mix of donating and not murdering made me laugh

Edited by jonesable - Jun 15 2014 at 7:39am
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keelolo1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote keelolo1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 8:15am
I'm moving on. I have to do what's best for me and my sanity. 
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KittenWhip View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KittenWhip Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 2:46pm
Between my job and my family, I never get to finish a sentence. As a result, I don't talk much and when I do, I get cut off.  What's the point?
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:35pm
I want to give up. 
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:48pm
Hug

if you ever wanna talk you can pm me. 
stay strong.. i know its hard. 
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 15 2014 at 11:54pm
Hug  Thanks Coco.  I'm at a standstill but I know I'll never stop trying.
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BBpants View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 16 2014 at 2:27am
I purposely starved my company so she could leave and go home....it didn't work. Mission failed.
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