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Confessions

 
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2014 at 8:21am
Following Friday's conversation with my cousin, I've come to believe that we were doomed from the start.  The dysfunction, mental-health disorders ... It's almost like we were destined to grow up to be the people that we are - depressed and unhappy with poor interpersonal relationships, parental issues, and a host of other issues.  It's like a cycle with my family because each generation has the same issues.

I think I'm (still) depressed.  That would explain my unhappiness with everything in my life and my inability to change.  The good thing is that I want to change.
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QueenBee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote QueenBee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2014 at 4:36pm
dollish.   Are or have you sought professional help?
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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2014 at 8:55pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

it's like as soon as you're over one, you're under another. 

i blame my mind. it's prone to flights of fantasy. i have lived entire existences, lifetimes and back-stories within moments. everything and nothing all at once.  

we are >>>>>>>>>>>here<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
its wonderful and terrible all at once Ouch
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eanaj5 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eanaj5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2014 at 8:57pm
i need to be more mindful of who i allow in my life and understand what their predetermined purpose is and stick to that formula. Doing anything contrary will yield disastrous results, emotional or otherwise.

#Lessonsfrom2013
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Lady ICE View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Lady ICE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 04 2014 at 9:01pm
i do a lot for ppl sometimes.
i wonder will they do the same for me?
i always ask that but deep down inside
i know the answer is no.
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2014 at 5:00pm
Originally posted by QueenBee QueenBee wrote:

dollish.   Are or have you sought professional help?

Hug  Thanks.

I actually have ... numerous times over the years. I'm not really consistent TBH. 
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2014 at 7:05pm
I'm 'shamed. I'm mortified. I'm more embarrassed than I've been in a long time. I got a little buzzed in a semi-private setting with my peers and former professor. I said some of the most terrible things about people (most of which I don't remember, but I was informed of). As much as I would like to blame it on the dark liquor, I can't. I'm disappointed in myself; disappointed in the fact that I wentthat far.

Not only am I disappointed in myself, but I'm disappointed in the ladies I consider friends. They thought that my behavior was "okay" (because it's the norm) ... funny almost. One even said that she likes it when I am that way (messy, mean, and disrespectful) Confused I had to kindly tell them that my behavior wasn't acceptable, cool, nor funny. There is something wrong with being and saying mean things to and about people. I don't want to be one of those people.

I'm ashamed because I feel that I'm going to be remembered as that person and that's not something I want attributed to my character. Because I can't seem to control myself and my mouth when I drink, I've decided to give it up.
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2014 at 10:41pm
I'm terrified of (and actually anticipating) my dad embarrassing me at my graduation. That's part of the reason why I was praying that he couldn't make it. I already gave my mom the "leave him home if he..." speech.

I would be beyond mortified if he shows up looking like someone's alcoholic uncle who currently lives out of his car Ouch It sounds bad, but I wouldn't say it if he hasn't done it.
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 06 2014 at 10:55pm
Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

we are >>>>>>>>>>>here<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
its wonderful and terrible all at once Ouch
EXACTLY!!  Hug  

best of luck to you eanaj... here's hoping that we get better with time and are no worse for the wear. Beer
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HeyBeautiful18 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 07 2014 at 7:01pm
What exactly is "too quiet" ?

I use to be really quiet... but I'm very proud of myself cause I've come a long way at being more open and social. Not exactly where I want to be but I'm getting there

But I feel like there's always that one person who likes to sh*t on your progress no matter what

Like if your silent for two seconds they feel the need to comment on it. I don't need to be talking 24\7 ...
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