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aNgElIc*SoUl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote aNgElIc*SoUl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 21 2014 at 2:41pm
Originally posted by _ConcreteRose_ _ConcreteRose_ wrote:

I thought you were taking about actual Kool-Aid for a second. smh

Meeee too
I was about to ask for recipes
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 22 2014 at 1:14pm
I find it hard to forgive myself for the things that I've done. I know that they were wrong and I'm fearful that I may have ruined someone's life Ouch

When I sit back and reflect on my life, I get so depressed. I'll be 25 in a few months and I can't say that I've done or experienced much. I always wanted to wait until my life was "in order" so that I could really enjoy each experience, but now that seems like it will be a waste of time.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote sexyandfamous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 22 2014 at 9:41pm
Originally posted by dOLLish. dOLLish. wrote:

I find it hard to forgive myself for the things that I've done. I know that they were wrong and I'm fearful that I may have ruined someone's life Ouch

When I sit back and reflect on my life, I get so depressed. I'll be 25 in a few months and I can't say that I've done or experienced much. I always wanted to wait until my life was "in order" so that I could really enjoy each experience, but now that seems like it will be a waste of time.




Hey Dollish, I am glad you are now understanding that waiting until everything is in order to live your life is bull. What you have to do is start living now. You cannot wait another day. The longer you wait, the more you'll regret the time missed on "getting your life together". Life is what happens when we are busy doing something else. Go live!

About your regrets... that's also a good sign. If you feel remorse, that means you are evolving and becoming a better person. If you can help the person that you may have "ruined" their life, do it, but if it is too painful to be around the person (or if the person simply despises you) let that be a reminder for next time you want to do something bad to someone, DON'T, because you'll also regret those actions in the future. To save yourself from more remorse and self-judgment, just do not act upon those feelings.
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 7:45pm
ugh-- my suppression/sublimation is just manifesting in other ways. 

i've been having the most impure thoughts and dreams. Pinch
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Mixer View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Mixer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 8:13pm
Weird, I was just thinking about the word impure seconds before I entered this thread.

I must not try anything with my family's friends. I know this could be bad for me.Disapprove
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2014 at 8:45pm
you mustn't and yes. yes it will be bad for you. 

at us both thinking the word "impure". 
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 24 2014 at 3:59pm
After my conversation with my mom, I've concluded that my dad has legit issues. I've always thought (and said) that he was mentally unstable; however, I now believe that he has deep-rooted issues that he needs to not only address, but also to seek professional help for.

I'm tired of making excuses or feeling sorry for him. I'm also tired of allowing him to have so much control over my life and allowing his actions to effect. 

He's my dad and I guess that I have to love him, but at this point, I don't want any parts of him. A part of me feels guilty for feeling this way, but I'll be OK if I never speak to him.

I feel that our relationship is toxic ... or maybe it's just him. He doesn't want to get help and I can't keep feeling like I'm responsible for him. I've wasted too much of my time doing that and I refuse to waste anymore of my time worrying about someone who cares about no one other than themselves.

I'm going to get the help that I need ... because I refuse to be like him. And one day I'm going to be able to let all of these repressed feelings go and learn to love him from a distance. I wish him well, but I can't do it.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote BaileyAlexandria Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 24 2014 at 4:07pm
priceline can go all the way to hell with tranferring me to India over 5 times. They act like this refund is gonna break the fracking bank. GOD IM PISSED
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 24 2014 at 4:12pm
Originally posted by sexyandfamous sexyandfamous wrote:

Originally posted by dOLLish. dOLLish. wrote:

I find it hard to forgive myself for the things that I've done. I know that they were wrong and I'm fearful that I may have ruined someone's life Ouch

When I sit back and reflect on my life, I get so depressed. I'll be 25 in a few months and I can't say that I've done or experienced much. I always wanted to wait until my life was "in order" so that I could really enjoy each experience, but now that seems like it will be a waste of time.




Hey Dollish, I am glad you are now understanding that waiting until everything is in order to live your life is bull. What you have to do is start living now. You cannot wait another day. The longer you wait, the more you'll regret the time missed on "getting your life together". Life is what happens when we are busy doing something else. Go live!

About your regrets... that's also a good sign. If you feel remorse, that means you are evolving and becoming a better person. If you can help the person that you may have "ruined" their life, do it, but if it is too painful to be around the person (or if the person simply despises you) let that be a reminder for next time you want to do something bad to someone, DON'T, because you'll also regret those actions in the future. To save yourself from more remorse and self-judgment, just do not act upon those feelings.

I thought that waiting until the right time meant that everything would be perfect and that I would be able to really enjoy all of my new experiences. I now realize that that thought process was stupid. I'm beginning to think both logically and realistically (and I've stopped living in a fantasy world, which I've learned is a coping mechanism). I'm learning to accept things for how they are ... and that also means accepting that I will never be perfect. My life will never be ideal ... and that's OK. I have so much that I want to do and experience and I feel like I've already wasted so much time. I don't want to waste anymore time. I don't want to be 40 and depressed because I've never lived. 

It's a good sign. I've never intentionally hurt someone (IMO). I harp on things, though. I'll beat myself up and make myself feel badly, knowing full well that there's nothing that I can do to change it. It's almost like I'm trying to find a reason to be hard or myself, to hurt, or to feel pain. I'm not in contact with the people (it's from when I was younger - before I was in college), and I still feel badly. It took getting older for me to realize that what I did was not OK. I feel guilty. I know how people's actions and things that they said have impacted me and I would never want someone to feel how I felt. I've vowed to never try and purposely inflict pain on someone. I guess that I just have to learn to accept that I've done things that were wrong, ask for forgiveness, and let it go.


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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 24 2014 at 11:57pm
sex aside, my gay friends have been better boyfriends than my ex. 



Edited by nekamarie83 - Feb 24 2014 at 11:57pm
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