Im very angry with my mother atm.
When our house burned down I went back to salvage what I could from my room. By some miracle, all of my books were on the side of the room that hadnt been completely destroyed. I kept my books on a wooden bookcase, my photo albums as well. Those were the only things I wanted other than my diploma. I put them in trash bags because it was all we had on hand at the time. She had them in her trunk for awhile and then they seemingly disappeared.
I remember begging her for weeks to bring my things by so I could check and see if they had water damage like my diploma did. She would always "forget"
So finally i ask her again and realize that she has no idea where the hell they are.
These photos were everything from my childhood, my most dearest possessions, my greatest treasures. Not knowing where the last remnants of my childhood were, ate (and is eating ) away at my soul daily.
She swears before God she didnt throw them away but I know better. She's one good for throwing any and everything away.
While I know it wasnt done maliciously, im angry at the fact that she was careless with something I placed great value in.
What do i have to show my future children when my parents are gone?
She still insists that she is looking for it but i really think she just doesnt want to look like the bad guy and admit she lost them/threw them away by accident. Little does she know it would give me some closure if she did. Because im currently pissed that she keeps sweeping this sh*t under the rug like its not a big deal. I want her to understand why this is so painful for me and i dont get why she doesnt see it.