I'm selfish as fukc.
I know he wants marriage and more kids, but I have no interest in that. I know we genuinely love each other and want to be together, but I feel like he's hanging around hoping I'll eventually want to get married and have kids, and I'm hanging around hoping he'll decide that having just me with none of those extras will be enough.
In my defense, I told him from the jump I never wanted to get married and I didn't want kids.
To be honest, I could get married. I'm not against it, I just don't find it necessary. And there is no one else I wanna be with in the world. Plus, I'm sure God wouldn't be happy with my intentions to fornicate for the rest of my life. But WHY? Why can't we just be together and be happy, no ceremonies, paperwork, or other mess?
Kids are completely out of the question tho. He lays there rubbing my stomach talking bout having daughters that look like the perfect mixture of both of us, and I just give him the side eye from hell.
Sometimes I feel like I should free him so he can have that life he wants with someone else. But, I'm selfish and I want him.
Ugh... feels so good to vent! Can't talk to my best friend cuz she keeps going I'll magically wake up with maternal instincts and the desire for wedding bells