Confessions

I have absolutely no clue what i want out of life right now. none whatsoever. 

and most of all, i feel misunderstood. i've never been like everyone else, like i never fit in. It never really used to bother me before, i didnt mind being a loner but i do wish i had a friend that both understands me and that i can relate to.

with the "friends" i have currently, either either one or the other or sometimes im just their to give them advice without reciprocation.

The closest thing i do have is on a completely different path with being heavily religious. We were both that way at one point in our lives but things are different. She understands me to a better degree than most but she cant relate to my life or the choices i've made/make.

eanaj5 wrote: and most of all, i feel misunderstood. i've never been like everyone else, like i never fit in. It never really used to bother me before, i didnt mind being a loner but i do wish i had a friend that both understands me and that i can relate to. with the "friends" i have currently, either either one or the other or sometimes im just their to give them advice without reciprocation. The closest thing i do have is on a completely different path with being heavily religious. We were both that way at one point in our lives but things are different. She understands me to a better degree than most but she cant relate to my life or the choices i've made/make.

I know what you mean. I thought in college everyone would be like me, but I'm still an oddball. So many factors make me "weird" it's hard to explain.

I had a friend who I had known since freshman yr of college. She'd tell me I give great advice. When I tried to open up to her, she'd act all weird. I finally cut her off, our friendship was not mutually beneficial. It was me scratching her back and using a backscratcher on myself lol.

I'm not in a good place. I'm close to breaking, again.

dOLLish. wrote: Eden. wrote: dOLLish. wrote: I feel like I'm living a lie. I'm doing what I think is expected of me to make others happy, without considering own happiness. Because in the end, accepting family = content dOLLish., right? I know I've got a lot to learn. I enjoy ratchet sh*t because a small part of me is intrigued by it. JYM. I want to be left alone. I love it. But I also want someone to care enough to not want to leave me alone. It's official, PICS bores me. I watch it because it's something to watch and not because I'm trying to get one off. Hell, it's starting to take a while to find a half decent flick. I feel like I'm half way embarrassed about my piercings. Like, I don't want people to see them out of fear … of being judged? IDK. I give people & their opinions way too much power over my life. I have absolutely no social life, which is why I'm alone, sipping this hot ass Moscato at 4 in the morning. … now I think I'm rambling. sister, soulmate, mirror? damn lol   ... I don't understand?

She's saying she can relate.