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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 17 2014 at 9:49pm
I wish that I had a real dad, like the ones in the movies. The ones who care, are dedicated, hands-on, and are someone you can be proud of. My dad always makes promises and like a dumb ass I believe him, but he always flakes ... and it hurts. I don't know why it hurts, I don't know why I expect anything from him when he's showed me time and time again that he won't do it and he won't change.

I want him to leave me alone. Knowing that he doesn't care is hard enough without feeling like I have to have a relationship with him. He didn't care enough to help me move, come to any of my award ceremonies, attend my last and final graduation ... none of that. It hurts. My mom thinks that I should tell him how it makes me feel ... He knows, but I don't think he cares. I don't want to guilt him into feeling something. I want him to genuinely care about me and what's going on in my life.
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ms_wonderland View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 17 2014 at 10:23pm
I haven't sworn off all faiths and religions after all....I am transitioning into Buddhism, like seriously.  I am learning so much about myself and the fallacies of my perceptions.  It's a humbling experience to let go of my ego and approach life in a totally new way.  I don't know how I will reconcile this new philosophy on life with my bitchy side.  I am amused by that behavior so it will be difficult to stop.  I have nothing to lose by doing that though so i'm going full speed ahead.  Everyone I know is going to think I'm crazy. 

It's a confession because I'm not going to tell anyone, they won't take me seriously.
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coconess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 17 2014 at 10:51pm
dont do it wonder… 
i like how you are 

buddah will accept your bitchy side.. just follow all the other rules. no ones perfect.. 
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ms_wonderland View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 18 2014 at 12:19am
Originally posted by coconess coconess wrote:

dont do it wonder… 
i like how you are 

buddah will accept your bitchy side.. just follow all the other rules. no ones perfect.. 


LOL  that's probably how it will end up, but i need to hold back for now, atleast until I find a better balance.  i'm planning a peaceful vacation for next month, destination unknown.  it's all part of the transition.  i keep getting told that i'm cynical, negative, pessimistic...i know that i'm also too materialistic. 


Edited by ms_wonderland - Sep 18 2014 at 12:20am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 19 2014 at 3:36am
I get excited to work out so I can eat my workout snacks.....I'm so fat OuchLOL
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 19 2014 at 5:15pm
My mom can be such a bitch. I feel like she's bullying me with these phone calls and texts. I don't know if I should bother responding or just ignore her.
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dOLLish. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 19 2014 at 6:21pm
I need to find better way to cope because my self-harming/injurious and destructive behaviors aren't good.  They work, temporarily, but I know they're not "healthy"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 19 2014 at 6:44pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MinnyMiss16 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 19 2014 at 9:33pm
Originally posted by hauteshellbi hauteshellbi wrote:

I want to do webcam pics lol no im like so serious but I have a brother and I know he watches pics so yeaaaa I gotta find a different side hustle

Dominatrix?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aNgElIc*SoUl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 23 2014 at 12:29pm
I really hate when people accuse me of playing the victim. The fact is there is just some shyt I will never get over, and yes bytch I will continue to tell you about everything you did to hurt me. I don't care if you're tired of hearing it and feel like our relationship should be rainbows and lollipops after everything you've said and done to me.

What do you guys think? Do I sound like a victim or just not an easily forgiving person?
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