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Ming 
Elite Member
Joined: May 25 2009
Location: New York
Status: Offline
Points: 23839
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 Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:44pm |
This past summer I didn't go into an elevator with 4 men. foh... One said there's room and I said id wait. Another one yelled as the doors were closing that they weren't gonna do anything to me and I don't need to be worried  . When I got downstairs they were in front of the building and one of them said he wishes he was stuck in the elevator with me... you have to ignore them or remove yourself
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_ConcreteRose_
Elite Member
Joined: Dec 12 2009
Location: 1738
Status: Offline
Points: 156427
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:45pm |
Depends on how safe I feel. I'll either ignore or say something sassy. Actually I say something sassy most of the time it's porbably not smart but I hate catcalling with a passion. Sorry this isn't good advice. I keep pepper spray on me at all times. Sorry this happened to you,. :(
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nekamarie83
Elite Member
Joined: Dec 28 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 169429
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:48pm |
 femmemichelle wrote:
You know what's ironic? In the midst of today's events, there was a vendor who yelled out at me to protect myself and buy his mace. He said it was $5. At the time I thought that was extreme, but literally 15 minutes later ole boy in OP was on my trail. I'm livid/angry/scared at this point.
When I first got here I thought it was cute how the men are so bold in approaching women because it's nooothing like this back home. At all. But yeah..today I realized it ain't nothing but harassment. |
yeah, it's time to kit up. i'm just glad there was someone to walk with you and that you're safe.
to the bolded, no ma'am and i hate that it got to this point. experience is a hell of a teacher.
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HaitianDiva64
Elite Member
Joined: Nov 17 2009
Location: New Yawk
Status: Offline
Points: 61941
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:49pm |
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Sd I live in queens. And mid- to late 90s big drug problem.
I give eye contact depending on the guy and compliment. Its just natural for me to say thank you. Some men just don't lnow how to handle a no thank you
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nekamarie83
Elite Member
Joined: Dec 28 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 169429
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:54pm |
femmemichelle wrote:
Do yall make eye contact with people as you walk? For some reason I think that makes them think it's OK. |
yes i do. frankly, i think looking away implies that you can be intimidated.
however, i'm not intimidating so much as i am southern. it's habit.
i can stare a person down though. *shrug*
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Senior Detective
Guest Group
Joined: Apr 21 2013
Location: Fly on the wall
Status: Offline
Points: 41403
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:59pm |
there was a thread on lsa last week about this. A guy there had this response. I found it interesting I think in a woman's head ignoring a man = not interested. When in reality, when
you look at it... let's be real... it's kinda rude.
I know, I know, I
know that by saying anything "not mean" men take it as in invitation/ make it
out as something else. but, it still is what it is. The fact that people think
they can just not talk to someone is funny. This is all catered to a
situation in which you are approached respectfully. (no cat calls... damn
MA's, etc.)
i'd be (shortly) upset (not temper-tantrum upset) if i'm
respectfully talking to another human being (regardless of gender...) and am
completely ignored. hit em' w/ a 'i have a bf' or simply 'i'm not
interested'.
all my opinion, of course.
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jonesable
Elite Member
Joined: Oct 12 2010
Location: SC
Status: Offline
Points: 300728
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:05pm |
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Stare at em , look away.
Talk or ignore doesn't matter.
Some ppl will try it and some ppl are crazy.
These are not normal responses to rejection.
These men are disturbed that's all.
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_ConcreteRose_
Elite Member
Joined: Dec 12 2009
Location: 1738
Status: Offline
Points: 156427
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:06pm |
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But he even says in that post that he isnt even talking about cat calling. A completely different subject.
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Lonisha87
Elite Member
Joined: Feb 04 2010
Location: California
Status: Offline
Points: 37057
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:08pm |
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I was followed home twice in middle school, and rudely cat called my whole life. Dice other ignore it or talk sh*t right back, one incident I pushed into a corner and threatened with rape(back in middle school or 9th grade, since then I don't even give eye contact and if I happen to be walking and my eyes meet a strangers I quickly look away with a small smile. Very paranoid
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_ConcreteRose_
Elite Member
Joined: Dec 12 2009
Location: 1738
Status: Offline
Points: 156427
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Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 10:10pm |
jonesable wrote:
Stare at em , look away.
Talk or inore doesn't matter.
Some ppl will try it and some ppl are crazy.
These are not normal responses to rejection.
These men are disturbed that's all. |
This is an intresting one too. Stare and don't say anything.. I feel like no one would know how to react.
Also, I just remembered when I was you an this man was following me in his car (I was walkin home) and saying awful things he wanted to do to me. I picked up my phone and said I was calling the police and he drove away.. fast. lol So that could be a solution as well.
ETA: Still risky though because you never know how people are going to react.
Edited by _ConcreteRose_ - Dec 27 2013 at 10:12pm
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