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Catcalling/Inappropriate Comments in Public?

 
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:27pm
After an incident I was completely terrified of strange men.
Wouldn't even attend office hours with my male professors and God forbid I was alone in the elevator with one.

I'm less nervous now can't quite pinpoint the reason.

There was a defense class offered at my school and I took it.
Taught about fear responses and identifying mine.

I feel more confident now that in the spur of a moment I can defend myself with no regard or remorse
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by nekamarie83 nekamarie83 wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

So what do you do? I was completely covered and make sure I am at all times when I go out now. I'm kind of at a loss. I've Googled other women's experiences and realized some women find comfort in sh*t like this happening but I donot. Help?
i'm sorry this has happened. Hug  i hope that bhm's men know better, do better and would offer you some pov from the other side. 

for me-- it's rare that it gets to that point, but i'm one to confront. i will flatly tell a guy that he's disrespectful, it makes me uncomfortable and needs to take a step back. depends on the guy whether i take an ignant tone or not. 

if it's getting to this point femme, i hope you consider something to carry (gun, mace, pepper spray, knife, taser, brass knuckles-- clearly i don't care about illegality ) to keep you safe. 

You know what's ironic? In the midst of today's events, there was a vendor who yelled out at me to protect myself and buy his mace. He said it was $5. At the time I thought that was extreme, but literally 15 minutes later ole boy in OP was on my trail. I'm livid/angry/scared at this point. 

When I first got here I thought it was cute how the men are so bold in approaching women because it's nooothing like this back home. At all. But yeah..today I realized it ain't nothing but harassment.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Senior Detective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

you must take his hand, look him in the eyes, explain that it's not his fault for his actions.  The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior.  Once we have universal equality & reparations, he will learn to love & respect the black woman for the queens we are
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ok, I would have ran, pressed charges, carried a taser or knife in the future.   Aint no use in reasoning with a psycho who doesn't know any better.  Sorry u had a bad nightHug

Girl I've been having a bad week. I'm out here visiting family for the holidays. I have never dealt with brazen men like this in my life. I was trying to do some shopping for my family/friends but had to stop short because of how aggressive people out here are. I was raised to always keep my head held high when I'm walking in public but I literally just stare at the ground every where I go here to avoid being harassed. It's ridiculous.
& its a damn shame!  It shouldn't be that way because some fools don't know how to act, we have to live in fear.  Plenty here have shared similar stories on POS that cannot handle rejection & they got either verbally or physically abusive.   We should keep our heads held high at all times & the need to RESPECT US.  They should be protecting us not intimidating or hurting us.  smh. Mothers teach ur sons...   PLEASE!!
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:32pm
Originally posted by jonesable jonesable wrote:

After an incident I was completely terrified of strange men.
Wouldn't even attend office hours with my male professors and God forbid I was alone in the elevator with one.

I'm less nervous now can't quite pinpoint the reason.

There was a defense class offered at my school and I took it.
Taught about fear responses and identifying mine.

I feel more confident now that in the spur of a moment I can defend myself with no regard or remorse

Did he hurt you?

And the instance I'm talking about happened in Harlem fyi.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Senior Detective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:34pm
Remember the so called triggers for these idiots???
 
They claim they don't want to be laffed at, ignored or embarrassed by a woman.   So idk wtf we can actually do.  Entertain them for a minute then politely turn them down?
 
sheesh, its so hard being a lady
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:34pm
I've never had the issue of what you talked about in the op.
It was something else but it heightened my anxiety in other situations.


That sounds scary
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:34pm
Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

Originally posted by femmemichelle femmemichelle wrote:

Originally posted by Senior Detective Senior Detective wrote:

you must take his hand, look him in the eyes, explain that it's not his fault for his actions.  The 400 years of oppression that our ppl had to endure is the cause of his behavior.  Once we have universal equality & reparations, he will learn to love & respect the black woman for the queens we are
Cry
 
 
 
 
 
 
ok, I would have ran, pressed charges, carried a taser or knife in the future.   Aint no use in reasoning with a psycho who doesn't know any better.  Sorry u had a bad nightHug

Girl I've been having a bad week. I'm out here visiting family for the holidays. I have never dealt with brazen men like this in my life. I was trying to do some shopping for my family/friends but had to stop short because of how aggressive people out here are. I was raised to always keep my head held high when I'm walking in public but I literally just stare at the ground every where I go here to avoid being harassed. It's ridiculous.
& its a damn shame!  It shouldn't be that way because some fools don't know how to act, we have to live in fear.  Plenty here have shared similar stories on POS that cannot handle rejection & they got either verbally or physically abusive.   We should keep our heads held high at all times & the need to RESPECT US.  They should be protecting us not intimidating or hurting us.  smh. Mothers teach ur sons...   PLEASE!!

The bolded is my fear. For the most part they have been pretty respectful when I ignore them but I'm afraid I might meet another crazy who will not only follow me but assault me :/ 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote HaitianDiva64 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:40pm
I'm sorry femme ***huggs*** I had this happen when I was TEN a man actually tried to follow me up my stairs. This was back when my neighborhood had a cocaine problem. I stopped turned around and said if he came any further I'm calling the cops and he scurried along.

I just want these guys to learn to keep hands to themselves. My new thing now is asking what if I was your daughter/sister/mom
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Senior Detective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:41pm
Originally posted by HaitianDiva64 HaitianDiva64 wrote:

I'm sorry femme ***huggs*** I had this happen when I was TEN a man actually tried to follow me up my stairs. This was back when my neighborhood had a cocaine problem. I stopped turned around and said if he came any further I'm calling the cops and he scurried along.

I just want these guys to learn to keep hands to themselves. My new thing now is asking what if I was your daughter/sister/mom
don't u live in bk?Confused
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femmemichelle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote femmemichelle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2013 at 9:44pm
Do yall make eye contact with people as you walk? For some reason I think that makes them think it's OK.
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