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Can you have a crush and be taken at the same time

 
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Babydoll9163 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Babydoll9163 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:21pm
Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

So I guess as long as you don't act on those thoughts, it's all good.

Just making sure that it doesn't mean that there is a flaw in your commitment ability or your relationship.

Not exactly. I think there is a difference between fantasy thoughts, and actual feelings.

Imo you can emotionally cheat even if you don't act on it. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nala52808 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:22pm
Originally posted by Bunnyahh Bunnyahh wrote:

crushes are natural, whether ur single or not


I agree. If you glance at a womans butt (which must of yall, including myself do) does that make you a lesbian? Now, if you go head and grab da booty, thats a whole nother story, but the point is, we may occasionally have those thoughts in our head but as long as you dont put it in action, or start flirting or whatever, its okay.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote kkscottdale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:25pm
Originally posted by Babydoll9163 Babydoll9163 wrote:

Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

So I guess as long as you don't act on those thoughts, it's all good.

Just making sure that it doesn't mean that there is a flaw in your commitment ability or your relationship.

Not exactly. I think there is a difference between fantasy thoughts, and actual feelings.

Imo you can emotionally cheat even if you don't act on it. 


Doesn't emotional cheating involve the other person?... like actually talking to them on the phone or having deep conversations with them.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Flowing-Ice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:27pm
meh. i don't like it. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Flowing-Ice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:28pm
being emotionally involved with someone doesn't necessarily mean that it has to include the person.
are we talking about a crush on like a celebrity or something?
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kkscottdale View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kkscottdale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:31pm
Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

being emotionally involved with someone doesn't necessarily mean that it has to include the person.
are we talking about a crush on like a celebrity or something?


no someone at school or work who have semi-frequent encounters.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Babydoll9163 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:33pm
Originally posted by kkscottdale kkscottdale wrote:

 
Doesn't emotional cheating involve the other person?... like actually talking to them on the phone or having deep conversations with them.

Not always. There are different levels imo. If your thoughts are about someone being physically attractive, that's harmless imo.

If you have legit feelings for them, stronger that friendship, I think that's problematic. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:33pm
Ive never been emotionally invested with a person I had a crush on while in a relationship. Imo that's taking it to another level. My crushes were always ppl I saw in passing or had lil convo with. They weren't friends,ex's or ppl at whom I had once wanted to be with. 

For the most part Id see them and in my head Id be like "lawddddd here comes his fine azz"and admiring body parts. That type of physical admiration is innocent imo....its only troublesome to an already troubled relationship. LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ThatGurlD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:37pm
You learn to create safeguards for yourself.  I'm happily married but I work around lots of successful, funny and sometimes very attractive men.  Not that I love my husband any less, but I'm spending 8 hours a day with these guys and lucky to get an hour uninterrupted with my husband.  

One man in particular calls me TBS which he made up for tall, beautiful and smart.  He compliments me everyday.  He brings me things.  I never compliment back, keep conversations work-related (well except for food.  We both cook which is why he brings me things.  Today was winter squash.  I'm about to get down lol) and never go anywhere alone.  My husband knows him (he works in the same hospital and drops in when he can) and that helps.  

Crushes happen but the great, big, giant rule is to NEVER VERBALIZE YOUR FEELINGS!!!!  Once you admit to a crush that you have a crush, ish gets real.  That's when the real temptation starts and bad things can happen.   

I don't think crushes are bad but I think one has to be careful.  I don't think it is any reflection whatsoever on your relationship.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Bunnyahh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2012 at 6:42pm
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