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can someone explain having a white s/o....

 
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 7:57pm
these are dilemmas i hope to never encounter...bc they seem tough. thankfully coconuts are pretty much alike despite different nationalities and often race

Edited by EPITOME - Jun 02 2013 at 7:58pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 7:57pm
I know many southern AA's who are married to Nigerian guys.
They kinda melt into their husbands culture I don't want that even though they say that there were a lot of similarities.


I don't want that.
And I know my family wouldn't want that either.


Edited by jonesable - Jun 02 2013 at 7:58pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Joseph_Sun Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:00pm
Originally posted by tbaby123 tbaby123 wrote:

No dark enough so I don't walk to Walmart and hve someone call the cops cause I am kidnapping lol

But for real..'I dunno because IM dark???? I mean ill be a great mother regardless so I suppose it doesn't matter.. Never put much thought into it


Ugh whateva dude lol
yeah it doesn't sound like you put much thought into it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Flowing-Ice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:01pm
i think it would be an issue to preserve WI or African culture, but most people that care about children marrying a certain someone don't care about culture. they care about race. it can be a regla black, a jamaican one, etc etc. 

if you are marrying someone out of your culture you need to make it important that they know your child will be absolutely immersed in it. my mixed children will be very much WI. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tbaby123 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:01pm
It doesn't sound like you put much thought into your existence/life plan
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:02pm
Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:


I wouldnt want to be out with my kids and people assume I'm their nanny or something.... that would pi$$ me off...



Throughout life theres going to be folks who think and assume the worse of you regardless. You have no control over that. There's no way to plan ahead to prevent it all you can do is live ur life in the best way possible.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Limalady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:03pm
Originally posted by Gkisses Gkisses wrote:

Originally posted by Limalady Limalady wrote:

Originally posted by JamCaygirl JamCaygirl wrote:

Yes I was one of them hypocrites... I consider myself to be very pro black...I did not set out to date a white man... we were friends and it happened before I realised what was happening... I don't want a white daughter or son in law - I don't really associate with white people... my white SO also has more black friends than I do so neither does he really... 

It makes no sense but ioncur, thats how I feel...

I guess the other reason is that I am from a family of immigrants, I would not want my Jamaican heritage to die out...

 
I think it's easier for most to judge rather than try to understand or empathize, but I completely understand and relate. I appreciate and value my culture, and I want to pass it on.


We're black its in our blood. 


But in all seriousness the anger or disappointment in a child who did as you did seems misplaced. We all can control we choose to fall in love with. Fairytale aside, I just think its unfair to expect your child who is a product of an interracial relationship to be solely responsible for make sure your identity doesnt get lost in the mix ( no pun intended). The heritage and culture can still be there regardless of who they choose the same way you can adhere to your own culture and heritage  despite being with someone who isnt black. Any anger or disappointment for the childs action to date "outside" seems like a projection of ones own feelings about the choice they made and not the childs. 


 
Well obviously I wouldn't be angry or disappointed with the child. I would be disappointed at the loss or potential loss of my culture. No one is advocating forcing your future children into unhappy relationships, but the question was "Would you be disappointed?" Saying I wouldn't be even slightly disappointed, even internally at some level would be a lie. It doesn't mean you wouldn't accept your child's partner or their children. People are inferring more into a "yes" than what is being said. If I am to be honest, I'd be slightly disappointed if my child was short, or if they weren't academically inclined. It doesn't mean I'd love them any less. Slight disappointment doesn't equate to a lack of love or acceptance.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Flowing-Ice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:03pm
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

these are dilemmas i hope to never encounter...bc they seem tough. thankfully coconuts are pretty much alike despite different nationalities and often race

i think anyone dating out of their culture will have problems with melding into the "predominant" culture in that family. 

your husband is a chico, no?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Joseph_Sun Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:03pm
Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

i think it would be an issue to preserve WI or African culture, but most people that care about children marrying a certain someone don't care about culture. they care about race. it can be a regla black, a jamaican one, etc etc. 

if you are marrying someone out of your culture you need to make it important that they know your child will be absolutely immersed in it. my mixed children will be very much WI. 
they might relate more to their white side.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 02 2013 at 8:06pm
Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

these are dilemmas i hope to never encounter...bc they seem tough. thankfully coconuts are pretty much alike despite different nationalities and often race

i think anyone dating out of their culture will have problems with melding into the "predominant" culture in that family. 

your husband is a chico, no?


Is that code for Nyer? I thought he was from NY and because of her stories he sounds like Method Man.
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