| CherryCola wrote:|
| TiffanyinTX wrote:|
Yes definitely, I got treated a lot better by my mother in an attempt to gain her favor (also, I was the youngest and only girl). Not only did this not make me like her any more, but it only made me resent her further when I got older and realized that her unfair treatment had a role in spoiling and ruining my character. I know she didn't favor me to make me conceited about myself, but with
power comes responsibility. It's a strong person to not abuse the
privilege of special treatment.
When I got older I had a lot of people blaming stuff on me because I was always the "favorite" but the way I look at is: my mom may have given me special treatment but at the end of the day she still wasn't doing me any favors, because all she gave me was inflated self-worth when what I really needed was humility and discipline. Deep in my heart I believe everyone should be treated equally, but hey I didn't tell my parents to be weak-willed or just give in to my demands like that.
My brothers both bear the psychological scars of the mistreatment and abuse. And then you have a spoiled, rotten kid who you claim you had no role in raising because they "always got they're way". Yeah your kid may be a brat, but you're kind of weak-willed too.
But my point is that the spoiled sister turned out to be great. The brother who was not spoiled is the one who turned out to be a bully and a criminal because he was neglected. I would rather have a spoiled child than a neglected child who turns into a bully and a criminal.
Well my experience totally turned out the opposite way in the sense that it backfired but from a certain perspective I can see your cousins point.
Let's say you have two kids:Kid A:
Grows up in a privileged, comfortable environment with two stable loving parents who take a humanistic approach-they see their child as special and planned for their birth. From the beauty pageants to the softball tryouts Kid A's parents are always in their corner and have looked forward to their birth with enthusiasm for the traditions they would get to teach their child. Should Kid A decide to go to college, they might even have an allowance set up for them, all to make sure their precious child makes a successful transition into the adult world with easeKid B
: Maybe Kid B's parents did not expect to have them or did not have the savings to provide their child with such comfort. Maybe they take their stress out on Kid B, in the form of neglect, or even abuse. Maybe Kid B's parents are just average.
In the absence of monetary and parental differences, which child do you think has the best chance of becoming an emotionally healthy functional adult?
Kid A. From the moment of conception on, they've been getting the message that their existence was a welcome and wanted
existence on earth. Of course that kid is more functioning.