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Black Women’s Blogs: Where the Male Trolls Are

 
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SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 7:50pm

Black Women’s Blogs: Where the Male Trolls Are

TrollsFor years now, I have wondered, “Why is he here?” He would be a male.  I can’t bring myself to call him a “man,” although biologically that would probably be the correct term. He* baffles me by showing up on websites and blogs geared toward women only to wonder why the conversation isn’t about men. He peruses posts about what women are thinking, the ones where the comments section numbers into the tens and hundreds, and then calls the issue “irrelevant” or dumb.”  He shows up to every conversation about Black relationships to remind Black women that Black men are not interested in them, somehow missing the irony that by reading and posting — always at length — his action contradicts his assertion.  No matter the issue, he absolutely always faults women in general or feminism at large.

If he posts early enough on Clutch, his comments are shielded from later viewers with a “hidden due to low rating,” the invariable result of the Sisters who got here first clicking the thumbs down button. But for the stragglers, the one who show up to a juicy post a day late (that’s me), his often off-color and vicious comments sit. I always read the rant and I always wonder mid-way, “boy, why are you here?”

I wanted an answer, truly, for years. But I’ve treated the musing like a rhetorical question. Someday it would be answered… better, someday, someone would ponder harder, do the work, and deliver the answer since I was interested enough to wonder, but too busy to really be concerned. And then a Clutch commenter suggested, “someone should write about why there are all these male trolls on women’s blogs.” And so I have.

I had my theories. Leading the list was a lot of men like having sex with women, but don’t really like women. But that seemed too simple. I wondered if berating women online was to get the same effect of doing it in the real world. Guy emotionally batters women because he insecure about self and must make woman feel inferior so he can feel strong and she will be docile. That kind of had merit.

My conspiracy theory went something like—if boy believes feminism is the downfall of mankind, and most women’s sites/blogs are perceived as having feminist leanings, then maybe he thinks women are on women’s sites plotting  to overthrow men. He might think “natural hair” is our code word for “machete.” Maybe his rabble-rousing in the comments can distract us (because, you know, women are like children) and thwart our agenda to take over Man, which, of course, would make him a hero among men. I swear, it’s not really as far-fetched as it sounds.

It still felt like I was missing something though, so I asked my guys — my Male Mind Squad, if you will — why they thought some boys were trolling women’s sites.

The first response gave the most obvious answer: “We live in a trolling world,” he explained matter-of-factly. “Anonymous posting has allowed anyone to be a cyber-terrorist, bully, or saboteur.”

One friend genuinely thought that maybe women were looking at it all wrong and the guys weren’t as bad as I made them out to be. “Men, generally, are solvers and when women have issues,” he guessed. “Some men believe a simple opinion will cure their issues and voila … problem solved.” Or er, started.

A couple of guys had outlooks I didn’t expect (but in retrospect, should have been obvious). “Men are perpetually trying to figure out the foreign specie that is the female human,” one gent hypothesized. “Once men discover the truth, they’re not willing to accept it and become combative toward it. Very similar to a woman asking her man if she looks fat in new jeans …”

Another guy confirmed a theory about these males: “They are there to prey upon any weak-minded women and portray themselves as ‘real men’,” he said. “They’re lost. They don’t understand the entirety of context and what it’s like to BE a woman.”

And yet another guy confirmed my leading suspicion. “On the low, a lot of dudes HATE women,” he said. “This is a vehicle for them to let out their anger bitterness, frustration and venom.”

Why do you think the males are here?

*The “he” I refer to isn’t any of the plethora of men who visit women’s sites and manage to contribute to the conversation meaningfully with their male POV. I get why they are here. Most of what society tends to think of as women’s issues don’t affect just one sex. And well, men who like women and want to get along with tem are genuinely interested in what we’re thinking and talking about. I find their input mostly helpful. Oh, and so the guys tell me there are ZERO forums for men to express themselves, “and probably won’t be,” said a guy friend. I assume all of the above is why men join in from time to time.

Demetria L. Lucas is the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk


southern: and then sometimes, it's not that deep. but good to know it isn't just bhm

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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 7:52pm
do we start the most threads on this forum?

eta: i read this this morning and def. giggled my black ass off


Edited by EPITOME - Dec 19 2012 at 7:52pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Junior Jr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 7:52pm
Finna be a slander fest in a min

jr.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (16) Thanks(16)   Quote nitabug Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 7:58pm
These niccas think they are funny and need attention. They are the wanna be alpha males. (ie...the midmess masseuses)

Or they are mad and seek attention. (ie. That nicca taking pics infront of the nursing home)

Then there are the "bottles" of the world, kind of believe they aren't really trolling, but understand that those niccas have a life offline, so you only have to deal with them 4-6 times a year.


Edited by nitabug - Dec 19 2012 at 7:58pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FarraFace Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 8:01pm
Originally posted by ascreennameIDR ascreennameIDR wrote:

Cancel this crazy BHF blog!


Y'all remember her? Dead
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Midwest_Da_Gawd Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 8:05pm
Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Finna be a slander fest in a min

jr.

LMFAOOOO
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Babydoll9163 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 8:07pm
I humbly request CC allow me to drink tea with her for the duration of this thread.

Make mine a long island tho...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 8:11pm
I compare males trolling on a woman's forum to when white trolls hang out on Black forums.



ETA: Tea for Babydoll. I'm sipping on vanilla chai tonight.Big smile


Edited by carolina cutie - Dec 19 2012 at 8:12pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 8:12pm
Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

I compare males trolling on a woman's forum to when white trolls hang out on Black forums.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carolina cutie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 19 2012 at 8:15pm
ETA: My smileys are not posting. Sigh.

Edited by carolina cutie - Dec 19 2012 at 8:16pm
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