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Black women without black friends

 
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 4:33pm
...i mean...i like Billy Joel
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mrshairdo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mrshairdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 4:35pm
LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 4:41pm
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

I am unique, but to me it's not about a ratchet/nonratchet dichotomy. I think "ratchet" interests/behavior/pursuits are just as valid as "nonratchet" ones.

I would love to find another 27 year old black woman with no kids, no man (and no interest in getting one), who is non-theist, a plain/modest dresser, not super social, and is interested in reading, watching movies/tv, eating good food, and just generally enjoys quiet, simple things in life.

So far it's impossible.

why does she have to not have a man or want one? or why does her wardrobe matter?

some of the best ppl are polar opposites..


Well if she has a man or is interested in getting one eventually, lots of her conversations will revolve around that. And she'll like activities that are centered around that (like going to bars, parties, clubs, etc). I'm just not interested so we wouldn't have anything to talk about/do together on that front.

Wardrobe matters because for many women fitting a certain mold matters to them...wearing whatever is most trendy, shopping, getting their hair/nails/makeup done, showing off their body, and wanting their friends to be, for lack of a better term, a "bad bitch"...none of which am I interested in.

Those are just some of the areas that influence the things people like to talk about and do...and we don't have anything in common in those areas a friendship isn't likely to work out.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Senior Detective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 4:41pm
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

I am unique, but to me it's not about a ratchet/nonratchet dichotomy. I think "ratchet" interests/behavior/pursuits are just as valid as "nonratchet" ones.

I would love to find another 27 year old black woman with no kids, no man (and no interest in getting one), who is non-theist, a plain/modest dresser, not super social, and is interested in reading, watching movies/tv, eating good food, and just generally enjoys quiet, simple things in life.

So far it's impossible.

why does she have to not have a man or want one? or why does her wardrobe matter?

some of the best ppl are polar opposites..
cuz thats what she wants & is comfortable with.  Is it a crme to find like minded ppl?   Would u marry a man who was great in all areas but thought bitchonce was a worthless ho?
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Midna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 4:41pm
I wish I had more black female friends. I mean I think I have a good amount but I'd like more, you know?

I find that a lot of black females in my college I come across either just aren't the kind person I am interested in befriending. It could be a woman who is unnecessarily catty, one too interested in drama, or they've internalized a lot of racism and parrot ugly racist thinking their white friends planted in their head and feel comfortable saying it to me because I do not fit their programmed stereotypical image of their own freaking kind.

But to be honest, these are qualities I avoid in general. I suppose I just give an actual fuck about it being in black women purely because I am a black woman who looks for a sense of solidarity.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 4:48pm
the women who don't want to befriend other black women seem cattier and pettier to me. so you don't like dressing nicely, aren't you Gandhi 


just get to know a wide array of people
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (7) Thanks(7)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 4:56pm
Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

the women who don't want to befriend other black women seem cattier and pettier to me. so you don't like dressing nicely, aren't you Gandhi 


just get to know a wide array of people


Lol, that's exactly the problem...my definition of dressing nicely doesn't match other people's.

Women on this very board constantly opine about how they only chill with other "bad bitches", all their friends are cute, they and their friends are always put together (makeup, weave, perfect outfit, designer bag, 5 in heels, etc). So many times posters have stated how every women needs at least a little makeup or she doesn't look "put together", "sophisticated", "like a lady", "grown", etc. That men and women won't take you seriously if you don't at least put it in some "effort" where effort=makeup, hair, nails done, dressed like a style blogger or reality star.

I personally can't be friends with people with those beliefs...not because I'm better than them...but because it wouldn't be fun for me to be constantly judged by a friend...or have that person feel embarrassed or uncomfortable to be seen with me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 5:04pm
my best friend wears no makeup and dresses like a hobo and likes girls
i mean if you were to look at at superficially we have nothing in common

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote mrshairdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 5:07pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

the women who don't want to befriend other black women seem cattier and pettier to me. so you don't like dressing nicely, aren't you Gandhi 


just get to know a wide array of people


Lol, that's exactly the problem...my definition of dressing nicely doesn't match other people's.

Women on this very board constantly opine about how they only chill with other "bad bitches", all their friends are cute, they and their friends are always put together (makeup, weave, perfect outfit, designer bag, 5 in heels, etc). So many times posters have stated how every women needs at least a little makeup or she doesn't look "put together", "sophisticated", "like a lady", "grown", etc. That men and women won't take you seriously if you don't at least put it in some "effort" where effort=makeup, hair, nails done, dressed like a style blogger or reality star.

I personally can't be friends with people with those beliefs...not because I'm better than them...but because it wouldn't be fun for me to be constantly judged by a friend...or have that person feel embarrassed or uncomfortable to be seen with me. 

this board and it's consistent 10-15 posters are representative of what total percent of the black ppl in the US? Or even in your state? city? town?

common now...
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SoutherNtellect View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote SoutherNtellect Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 07 2014 at 5:07pm
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by SoutherNtellect SoutherNtellect wrote:

the women who don't want to befriend other black women seem cattier and pettier to me. so you don't like dressing nicely, aren't you Gandhi 


just get to know a wide array of people


Lol, that's exactly the problem...my definition of dressing nicely doesn't match other people's.

Women on this very board constantly opine about how they only chill with other "bad bitches", all their friends are cute, they and their friends are always put together (makeup, weave, perfect outfit, designer bag, 5 in heels, etc). So many times posters have stated how every women needs at least a little makeup or she doesn't look "put together", "sophisticated", "like a lady", "grown", etc. That men and women won't take you seriously if you don't at least put it in some "effort" where effort=makeup, hair, nails done, dressed like a style blogger or reality star.

I personally can't be friends with people with those beliefs...not because I'm better than them...but because it wouldn't be fun for me to be constantly judged by a friend...or have that person feel embarrassed or uncomfortable to be seen with me.

don't let bhm be an indicator of anything in life
if you had friends like what's said on bhm, you'd be the topic of a princess grace thread
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