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mangachan
Elite Member
Joined: May 12 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 16583
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Topic: Black women who date interracially... Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:46pm |
This isn't a "black men ain't sh!t" thread and if you you have an issue with IRR click the red X you troll.
To people who have or are dating interracially, have you had the feeling that people have automatically assume that you have sworn off black men? My bf isn't black and I just really get the feeling that people assume I don't like and wouldn't ever date black men. He's the first person I've dated so it's not even like I can just say "it's okay, I've dated black men before cool your jets!" Now this isn't something that is ever explicitly said out loud but in reading between the lines, it's just this weird feeling whenever the topic comes up.
Oddly enough, this assumption is coming from black women in my life. The black men in my life don't say much about it and one of them is glad I'm dating a white guy (he's a misanthropic recluse though so idk if he counts). When discussing this issue I have gotten several responses of the following nature:
1) It's a fellow black woman who does have the "black men ain't sh!t" outlook, roast black men and complain about how none actually approach me or said black woman anyway.
2) They state they aren't surprised I'm dating someone not black. The implication can only mean "black men ain't sh!t" or I'm some type of black people hating uncle Tom. Both assumptions are stupid.
3) "Why can't you find somebody black?!" This is a response garnered from female family members who's only prior contribution to my romantic interactions include the warnings not to have sex or end up with a crackhead. Thoughts?
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goodm3
Elite Member
Joined: Aug 01 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 37647
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:51pm |
I'll admit...i've thought "to myself" #2... I joke with a close friend of mine that she's going to end up with a yt guy...and we just laugh about it. It in no way means she's doesn't like or has sworn off black men.
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JulieGianni
VIP Member
Joined: Nov 23 2006
Status: Offline
Points: 9307
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:51pm |
I married interracially. My experience of other peoples' reactions has been less "black men ain't sh*t" and more of "you know you're still black."
The assumption being that I will benefit from his white male privilege and some how forget what it's like to be "black". 
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K_Camille
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 14 2012
Location: IMOL
Status: Offline
Points: 59601
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:58pm |
People, even family, used to say I'd end up dating a white guy or be gay because it took me a longer time to date compared to my peers. I was so young but even in middle school, I was expected to have a boyfriend where I'm from.  Folks were looking at me crazy but I was really shy, weird, had been bullied, and had felt un-attractive/low-self esteem so that's why it took me longer to date. My first bf was black, I'm straight, and I've never dated a white guy.
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AshBash89
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 23 2012
Location: 3rd Rock
Status: Offline
Points: 87264
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:00pm |
My sister married a doofy ass white dude(he looks exactly like shaggy from scooby doo). When she brought him home, she received a lot of side-eyes, not because of his race since she swore off Black men (until she got bored with her marriage) but because of his looks. My other sister dated a cute white guy, he was "hood" and no one ever questioned it or said anything. My brother's fiancé is Bosnian but he has never had "type".
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AshBash89
Elite Member
Joined: Sep 23 2012
Location: 3rd Rock
Status: Offline
Points: 87264
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:03pm |
I was totally rambling, there was no point to my post at all.
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iliveforbhm
Guest Group
Joined: Dec 27 2013
Status: Offline
Points: 15114
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:09pm |
It's cooning pure and simple.
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goodm3
Elite Member
Joined: Aug 01 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 37647
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:12pm |
SamoneLenior wrote:
I have had a comment made to me that was similar but it wasn't about race
it's strange how others plan your life for you
meh
I don't know what else to type because I didn't see a question in the OP and I am tired right now
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this....
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rickysrose
Platinum Member
Joined: Jun 28 2006
Location: Qualia
Status: Offline
Points: 247396
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:12pm |
it's natural... if you make a non obvious choice then people will wonder why, especially if the why isn't obvious
If this white person isn't obviously "exceptional" or has the same stats as a black guy then people will assume you have a preference for negative reasons
I'm sure you do it to your friends too for different reasons/markers
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Im_oh_so_hott
Elite Member
Joined: Jul 21 2008
Location: My Skin
Status: Offline
Points: 43400
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Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:14pm |
I was married to a Dominican (not a different race), but i still got flak from "regular Black" people.
Edited by Im_oh_so_hott - May 27 2014 at 2:15pm
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