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Black women who date interracially...

 
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mangachan View Drop Down
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    Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:46pm
This isn't a "black men ain't sh!t" thread and if you you have an issue with IRR click the red X you troll.

To people who have or are dating interracially, have you had the feeling that people have automatically assume that you have sworn off black men?  My bf isn't black and I just really get the feeling that people assume I don't like and wouldn't ever date black men.  He's the first person I've dated so it's not even like I can just say "it's okay, I've dated black men before cool your jets!"  Now this isn't something that is ever explicitly said out loud but in reading between the lines, it's just this weird feeling whenever the topic comes up.

Oddly enough, this assumption is coming from black women in my life.  The black men in my life don't say much about it and one of them is glad I'm dating a white guy (he's a misanthropic recluse though so idk if he counts).  When discussing this issue I have gotten several responses of the following nature:


1) It's a fellow black woman who does have the "black men ain't sh!t" outlook, roast black men and complain about how none actually approach me or said black woman anyway.

2) They state they aren't surprised I'm dating someone not black.  The implication can only mean "black men ain't sh!t" or I'm some type of black people hating uncle Tom.  Both assumptions are stupid.

3) "Why can't you find somebody black?!"  This is a response garnered from female family members who's only prior contribution to my romantic interactions include the warnings not to have sex or end up with a crackhead.  Thoughts?
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:51pm
I'll admit...i've thought "to myself" #2... I joke with a close friend of mine that she's going to end up with a yt guy...and we just laugh about it. It in no way  means she's doesn't like or has sworn off black men.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JulieGianni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:51pm
I married interracially.  My experience of other peoples' reactions has been less "black men ain't sh*t" and more of "you know you're still black."

The assumption being that I will benefit from his white male privilege and some how forget what it's like to be "black". Wacko
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K_Camille View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote K_Camille Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 1:58pm
People, even family, used to say I'd end up dating a white guy or be gay because it took me a longer time to date compared to my peers.  I was so young but even in middle school, I was expected to have a boyfriend where I'm from. Confused  Folks were looking at me crazy but I was really shy, weird, had been bullied, and had felt un-attractive/low-self esteem so that's why it took me longer to date. My first bf was black, I'm straight, and I've never dated a white guy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AshBash89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:00pm
My sister married a doofy ass white dude(he looks exactly like shaggy from scooby doo). When she brought him home, she received a lot of side-eyes, not because of his race since she swore off Black men (until she got bored with her marriage) but because of his looks. My other sister dated a cute white guy, he was "hood" and no one ever questioned it or said anything. My brother's fiancé is Bosnian but he has never had "type".
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AshBash89 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote AshBash89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:03pm
I was totally rambling, there was no point to my post at all.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote iliveforbhm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:09pm
It's cooning pure and simple.
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goodm3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote goodm3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:12pm
Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


I have had a comment made to me that was similar but it wasn't about race

it's strange how others plan your life for you

meh

I don't know what else to type because I didn't see a question in the OP and I am tired right now

this.... 
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:12pm
it's natural... if you make a non obvious choice then people will wonder why, especially if the why isn't obvious

If this white person isn't obviously "exceptional" or has the same stats as a black guy then people will assume you have a preference for negative reasons

I'm sure you do it to your friends too for different reasons/markers

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Im_oh_so_hott View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Im_oh_so_hott Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 27 2014 at 2:14pm
I was married to a Dominican (not a different race), but i still got flak from "regular Black" people.

Edited by Im_oh_so_hott - May 27 2014 at 2:15pm
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