BLACK WOMEN WAKE THE F UP!

IA Spoken

SweetNovember* wrote: What is this book?

Veemack wrote: Scream this message if you have to because black women just don't seem to get it. Each side must take their own personal responsibility. And black women making the choice to have unprotected sex with a man is personal responsibility. Women you control things, so you decide when you want to have sex, do not let the fear of him going somewhere else, lead you to having sex. Do not have sex to get or keep a man. If he does not want to be kept, he will leave anyway. And it is apparent based on the relationships within the black community that black men are not trying to stay with just one women or with a black woman at all. If you are the one, he will ask you for your hand in marriage, and it does not take a long time for a man to figure out if you are the one for him or not. Actually I think it takes women a little longer to decide. Oh and a man will stay in a okay relationship with a woman who is not the one for many years, so do not let that fool you. If what the OP said is making people feel bad, then how bad will you feel once you have a baby for a man who now calls you a b?....... Hopefully what the OP typed will help at least 3 black women not have unprotected sex. Black women are suppose to have the highest self esteem and yes we talk a good game. But when you look at the actions of black women you see something different. And it is not high self esteem. Good post somebody will receive it, those who don't then keep doing what you are doing. Try to remember that your body is precious and to valuable to just give it away to a man just because he is nice to you and took you out for 2 months. Know your worth!

So on point, except I will add that I see (attractive, college educated) white women doing this as well. I think it's a generational thing, I really do! Our generation, (30 and younger) just do not deem sex as a sacred thing. I fell into that same trap of thinking sex will make a man wanna commit. I lost my virginity at age 20 to a man I loved more than life itself, a man who made it plain he was not "looking for anything serious." For some reason I deluded myself into thinking that because he changed his mid about having  a strictly platonic friendship, he wanted to commit.

 Turned out he just changed his mind about the sexual aspect. Despite my devastation I continued to sleep with him for 3.5 years in hopes he would change his mind---I finally woke up and ran for my life. Then my husband came along, kept his hands to himself and courted me.

The whole "he's just not into you" movement a few years back just proves that us women in general short change ourselves. We do hold 100% of the power when it comes to what direction a relationship will take. It's one thing to have sex with no strings attached and be fine with no commitment. It's a whole other animal to hope sex will make a man commit. This rarely EVER works and sadly you get the opposite result.

Veemack, you pulled my card, because  I had the exact same mind set going in and all it got me was a broken heart and a hand full of STDS.

Hey what about the trailer trash white people who sleeps with their own cousins etc and have kids? What about those sick white men who lock up their own daughters in a basement for many years and make them pregnant 5 times? 

smaison wrote: modelbusiness82 wrote: I think the term "condescending" is a 25 cent word (as my mom loves to say) that is getting tossed around far too frequently on this board and is being used out of context in most cases. OP's tone was angry for sure - even irritated. I'll even give you rambling/ranting/frustrated/exhausted. But condescending...it's a bit of a reach to me. Shining a spotlight on something with an obviously irate tone =/= condescending. This is why shyt ain't never gonna change. You can't tell mofos nothing. Before you even finish a sentence all they can talk about is how they don't like your tone and blah blah blah; missing the cotdamn point. I gave up on people a long time ago. My life is just fine, keep phucking yours up.

Yup..Ain't no way you can present it without the ones that live up to the negative stereotypes whining about it.