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Being the other woman

 
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kimbledawn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kimbledawn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:21pm
I agree with the 80-20 rule. Whether its from low self esteem, sketchy character or what ever, a woman who gets involved with a married man is filling a tiny open slot. She is there by comparison...you don't nag but the wife does, you do this but she doesn't. If the other woman was truly great. Everything a man would want, then why hasn't any single men offered to wife her? why isn't she enough to fill a completely open slot in a man's life. Not just weekends and holidays, not just vacations but everyday in and out.

They say the other woman's main goal is to let the wife know that she exists, to get validation that she is worth something. That's why they talk so much.

Yeah its the mans fault, but when I look at situations like this, I see myself as a woman. Who am I and what do I think I'm worth. I wouldn't take another woman's leftovers off her plate and I won't take her mans left over time. I'm worth more. It's not so much fear of the other woman, I'm sad for her.
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:28pm
Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

Fear of what?  What does the lady in the OP have to do with any of us though

Precisely who is fearful?
 
The gnawing fear that every woman gets when an attractive woman bats her eyelashes at her man. Don't act like you are immune to it, lol. No matter how solid a marriage, no one's trying to see all of that, LOL
 
As for the lady in the op, I was just observing the ferocity of the "homewrecker" bashing phenomenon on BHM from the married women and I can't help but being a little amused by it. Understanding but still amused. It is what it is.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote iNFATUATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:29pm
Homegirl need to do something about that ulcer....vomiting all over the dang place.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bunnyahh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:30pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babyk94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:31pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

Fear of what?  What does the lady in the OP have to do with any of us though

Precisely who is fearful?
 
The gnawing fear that every woman gets when an attractive woman bats her eyelashes at her man. Don't act like you are immune to it, lol. No matter how solid a marriage, no one's trying to see all of that, LOL
 
As for the lady in the op, I was just observing the ferocity of the "homewrecker" bashing phenomenon on BHM from the married women and I can't help but being a little amused by it. Understanding but still amused. It is what it is.
I don't think the term homewrecker even makes sense
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:33pm
Originally posted by kimbledawn kimbledawn wrote:

I agree with the 80-20 rule. Whether its from low self esteem, sketchy character or what ever, a woman who gets involved with a married man is filling a tiny open slot. She is there by comparison...you don't nag but the wife does, you do this but she doesn't. If the other woman was truly great. Everything a man would want, then why hasn't any single men offered to wife her? why isn't she enough to fill a completely open slot in a man's life. Not just weekends and holidays, not just vacations but everyday in and out.

They say the other woman's main goal is to let the wife know that she exists, to get validation that she is worth something. That's why they talk so much.

Yeah its the mans fault, but when I look at situations like this, I see myself as a woman. Who am I and what do I think I'm worth. I wouldn't take another woman's leftovers off her plate and I won't take her mans left over time. I'm worth more. It's not so much fear of the other woman, I'm sad for her.
 
Hmm... I don't think what most people feel for the sidepiece is "sadness", lol. More like a hurricane force type of rage. And I believe that there are some women who actually seek out married men because they'd rather enjoy all the good times without having to pick out his socks. I don't believe that it's always low self-esteem. Some sketchiness, yes. But some people are into well-defined arrangements
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:33pm
Originally posted by babyk94 babyk94 wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by rickysrose rickysrose wrote:

Fear of what?  What does the lady in the OP have to do with any of us though

Precisely who is fearful?
 
The gnawing fear that every woman gets when an attractive woman bats her eyelashes at her man. Don't act like you are immune to it, lol. No matter how solid a marriage, no one's trying to see all of that, LOL
 
As for the lady in the op, I was just observing the ferocity of the "homewrecker" bashing phenomenon on BHM from the married women and I can't help but being a little amused by it. Understanding but still amused. It is what it is.
I don't think the term homewrecker even makes sense
 
I don't much care for the term either
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kimbledawn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kimbledawn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by kimbledawn kimbledawn wrote:

I agree with the 80-20 rule. Whether its from low self esteem, sketchy character or what ever, a woman who gets involved with a married man is filling a tiny open slot. She is there by comparison...you don't nag but the wife does, you do this but she doesn't. If the other woman was truly great. Everything a man would want, then why hasn't any single men offered to wife her? why isn't she enough to fill a completely open slot in a man's life. Not just weekends and holidays, not just vacations but everyday in and out.

They say the other woman's main goal is to let the wife know that she exists, to get validation that she is worth something. That's why they talk so much.

Yeah its the mans fault, but when I look at situations like this, I see myself as a woman. Who am I and what do I think I'm worth. I wouldn't take another woman's leftovers off her plate and I won't take her mans left over time. I'm worth more. It's not so much fear of the other woman, I'm sad for her.
 
Hmm... I don't think what most people feel for the sidepiece is "sadness", lol. More like a hurricane force type of rage. And I believe that there are some women who actually seek out married men because they'd rather enjoy all the good times without having to pick out his socks. I don't believe that it's always low self-esteem. Some sketchiness, yes. But some people are into well-defined arrangements



Well defined arrangements are cool, but there are lots of single men. I'm not single and I meet them everyday( I meet married ones too) but its all about choice. Have a man for everyday, make any arrangement you want but you have to examine why a person would choose someone who is "taken" when she can have someone free. Just don't pick up his socksBig smile
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:40pm


jolie ... the only person in the thread with an ulcer or gnawing anything is the lady in the OP

frankly the reason I even ask, is more generic ... is because it's like a favorite pastime for people to project whatever's going on with them onto "bhm"

throwing shots at bhm meanwhile they're bhm


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kimbledawn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kimbledawn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 6:43pm
Originally posted by kimbledawn kimbledawn wrote:

Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

Originally posted by kimbledawn kimbledawn wrote:

I agree with the 80-20 rule. Whether its from low self esteem, sketchy character or what ever, a woman who gets involved with a married man is filling a tiny open slot. She is there by comparison...you don't nag but the wife does, you do this but she doesn't. If the other woman was truly great. Everything a man would want, then why hasn't any single men offered to wife her? why isn't she enough to fill a completely open slot in a man's life. Not just weekends and holidays, not just vacations but everyday in and out.

They say the other woman's main goal is to let the wife know that she exists, to get validation that she is worth something. That's why they talk so much.

Yeah its the mans fault, but when I look at situations like this, I see myself as a woman. Who am I and what do I think I'm worth. I wouldn't take another woman's leftovers off her plate and I won't take her mans left over time. I'm worth more. It's not so much fear of the other woman, I'm sad for her.
 
Hmm... I don't think what most people feel for the sidepiece is "sadness", lol. More like a hurricane force type of rage. And I believe that there are some women who actually seek out married men because they'd rather enjoy all the good times without having to pick out his socks. I don't believe that it's always low self-esteem. Some sketchiness, yes. But some people are into well-defined arrangements



Well defined arrangements are cool, but there are lots of single men. I'm not single and I meet them everyday( I meet married ones too) but its all about choice. Have a man for everyday, make any arrangement you want but you have to examine why a person would choose someone who is "taken" when she can have someone free. Just don't pick up his socksBig smile

Everyone talks about thirst...only a starving person  would eat someones leftovers.JMO
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