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Being a good parent...

 
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Derri View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Derri Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 1:21pm
I didn't ask for the definition of primitive, I asked you to explain yourself in the context of this discussion.
The time it took you to go to the dictionary and copy and paste that, you could have simply used to answer the question intelligently.

Edited by Derri - Feb 06 2014 at 1:22pm
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smaison View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote smaison Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 1:23pm
idk i ain't a parent and have no desire to be.
i just wish people would think and plan first before having all these oops babies.
people are so unprepared for parenthood.
that shyt looks hard as hell; i thought about it and then i was like naw ill pass.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iliveforbhm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 1:26pm
Primitive = it's old and outdated, we know why coporal punishment doesn't work and why we shouldn't use it as a punishment. Now, we know better , we should do better. We don't hunt and gather because we do it better than our ancestors. Let's keep the past in the past.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote purpulicious01 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 1:27pm
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Do you believe that being a great, loving parent comes naturally or is it something that is taught?

Who is responsible for teaching our women and men how to be good parents? The state, government, relatives or the community?

Do you think the reason why these little demon seeds are terrorizing people is because their parents weren't properly taught how to raise their kids?

BHM parents, did someone teach you or did you teach yourself along the way? Would you have preferred if someone (either mom, grandma, dad, etc) guided you in raising you kids? Do you think someone trying to guide you is "over stepping or being disrespectful? 

Both - a lot is taught, but  some comes naturally

They should be taught by their parents/family,  experts, the community.

Yes - the reason why you see so many misbehaved children is because parents aren't doing their job.

Not a parent, but I watch my parents/others and read a lot of books to learn what to do/not to do when I have kids. I would love other family member's guidance while raising my children (if they are good parents themselves), and imo, it wouldn't be disrespectful - we all should learn from people who have previous experience in raising children and are good parents.






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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote purpulicious01 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 1:32pm
Parenting is a hard job and raising good children starts with us (the adults), because we set the example on how they should behave, and children follow in our footsteps. 

Accountability is key. 

I currently work at a school and constantly see students' misbehavior stems from home and their parents.

If you get a chance, I recommend reading How to Behave So Your Children Will Too by Sal Severe. Great book. 
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smaison View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote smaison Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 1:42pm
but then again i guess some people don't see how hard parenting can be. cuz ive had a few people tell me that it's not hard.
but errr i guess if your kids stay in front of a tv all day and live off mcdonalds and burger king i guess it's pretty easy.
as for me the plans i have for my nonexisting kid(s) it just seems too damn hard.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 2:24pm
yeah Sm, my imaginary kids require a lot of time and attention too.


Edited by PurplePhase - Feb 06 2014 at 2:24pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Jewelsnyc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 3:32pm
Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Do you believe that being a great, loving parent comes naturally or is it something that is taught?

Who is responsible for teaching our women and men how to be good parents? The state, government, relatives or the community?

Do you think the reason why these little demon seeds are terrorizing people is because their parents weren't properly taught how to raise their kids?

BHM parents, did someone teach you or did you teach yourself along the way? Would you have preferred if someone (either mom, grandma, dad, etc) guided you in raising you kids? Do you think someone trying to guide you is "over stepping or being disrespectful? 
Great topic Blaque...and tbh a difficult one to answer simply.
 
Do you believe that being a great, loving parent comes naturally or is it something that is taught?
I think it can be both. Depending on the persons disposition, it might come naturally. In addition, having solid parents, who understood the role of "good parenting." The balance between being stern and being lenient is a difficult one to keep. Also, understanding that parenting isn't a one-size-fits all, depending on the child/situtation, you adjust accordingly. That can be taught through positive role models, and if you don't have that, taking classes on pareting PRIOR to having children would be a great idea!
 
 
Who is responsible for teaching our women and men how to be good parents? The state, government, relatives or the community? I honestly feel that the education system is so flawed & out of touch with real-world issues, it isn't funny. The focus should be the end game, which is a productive citizen that can then have productive off-spring. Remembering when Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue, shouldn't be the priority. Preparing students for the technologically workforce we're becoming & being able to adjust with the very real pressures of taking care of a family, are vital tools that go ignored.
 
Currently, leaving the responsibility on the man/woman, realtives or community is a connudrum at the moment. Because the current state of our communties are a direct reflection of the lack of parenting skills and family support. Reversing the ills of this current society, would require a change collectively. You have some parents who think keeping a fresh pair jordans on their child, is what it means to be a good parent. We're so wrapped up with materialisic concepts of what success is, the value of the child is intertwined with his/her possessions. Re-setting of the moral compass would first start by divorcing the captalisitc attiude most americans have. Incorprate more support for the family (whatever that family means to you, single, two-parent whatever), with programs (like the Y etc). This would give children places to get assistance with homework, keep them safe, and aid the parents with child-care.
 
Do you think the reason why these little demon seeds are terrorizing people is because their parents weren't properly taught how to raise their kids? This my dear is such a multifaceted question, that goes in a prismatic circle...But the short summation is, we're reaping what we've swen.  Transistioning from the Industrial age to the digital one has left a huge gap. Families who at one time, could work in a factory and earn good pay to take care of their family, is gone. Then add the crack epidemic, which left an indelible impact on the "family".  Children born to these parents were more often than not, left to raise themselves. Which lead to an eruption of teen pregencies, children with attention defect & emotional problems, not to mention the hood "role models" with the money, cars & clothes...it was inevtiable we'd see the back-lash we have now. But IMO this was a "designed destruction."
 
 
BHM parents, did someone teach you or did you teach yourself along the way? Would you have preferred if someone (either mom, grandma, dad, etc) guided you in raising you kids? Do you think someone trying to guide you is "over stepping or being disrespectful? Because of my caribbean background, certain things were expected. Plain and simple. Very traditional parenting, "do as your told" strict parenting. Which at a certain age doesn't work. My mom gave me a great foundation, but certain things she didn't understand because she didn't know herself. I had great examples and am thankful for those, but I lacked in other areas because of the very strict upbringing. Again striking a balance IMO is key. Also, taking a class (or research) the many "stages" your child will go through will help any parent understand the many (and I do mean many) challenges they'll face.
 
A matriarch/patriarch that has the wisdom as well as the wherewithal to dispense that wisdom in a tactful way is invaluable, but often is elusive.


Edited by Jewelsnyc - Feb 06 2014 at 3:36pm
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Jewelsnyc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jewelsnyc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 3:52pm
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

First we have to define what a good parent is.
For me, Before you can be a 'good' parent you have to be a 'good' person, and in my opinion, this society doesn't teach you how to do that.

I don't really care for the word good, so I mean an introspective, analytical person who can solve problems efficiently.
One who isn't self serving, and one who can function well in the current state of the world; who understands the purpose of money fully--not as a tool for power and control but for necessity and survival.
A healthy working mind.



Clap "good" parents are birthed from "good" people. Sympathy, empathy & compasion are foreign to some.
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Jewelsnyc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jewelsnyc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 06 2014 at 3:55pm
Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

I didn't ask for the definition of primitive, I asked you to explain yourself in the context of this discussion.
The time it took you to go to the dictionary and copy and paste that, you could have simply used to answer the question intelligently.
LOL talk about not being able to support your argument...buss out the websters!!LOL
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