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Guess View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Guess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 28 2013 at 11:49am
I agree with everyone above.I tend to be the provider in most of my so called friendships.Providing rides,money and my valuable time regarding there struggles.I put a stop to that.I usually just let stuff build up then flip out on them when I'm so fed up.Not anymore though.I don't need friends & I be damn if I let someone drain me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Tbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2013 at 1:43pm
Originally posted by PiiNkBaYZeBrA PiiNkBaYZeBrA wrote:

Thank you guys so much for the advice. I'll just say, " I don't have it"
My only problem with that is if we go shopping together and she sees me buying stuff or sees me in new clothes after I tell her I don't have it, what should I say then? Confused 
These answers are really helping me see that it's her struggle, and her mistake...not mine.


Don't go shopping together then.  If she truly is a friend she wouldn't mind you using your money for yourself.

 And frankly your relationship might suffer some, or eventually fall apart because some friendships don't last forever. That's part of life and frankly if she gets upset that you aren't funding her foolishness then she's not that great a friend anyway.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote dOLLish. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2013 at 2:16pm
Originally posted by PiiNkBaYZeBrA PiiNkBaYZeBrA wrote:

Thank you guys so much for the advice. I'll just say, " I don't have it"
My only problem with that is if we go shopping together and she sees me buying stuff or sees me in new clothes after I tell her I don't have it, what should I say then? Confused 
These answers are really helping me see that it's her struggle, and her mistake...not mine.

You can politely tell her that you don't have money to continue lending her. You work to support yourself, not her and her child. It sounds harsh, but I'm sure she'll understand. It's not fair that you can't or shouldn't be able to spend your hard earned money how you see fit.

If she has a problem with it, oh well. It just shows that she wasn't a true friend in the first place.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Hawk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2013 at 2:33pm
Originally posted by PiiNkBaYZeBrA PiiNkBaYZeBrA wrote:

Thank you guys so much for the advice. I'll just say, " I don't have it"
My only problem with that is if we go shopping together and she sees me buying stuff or sees me in new clothes after I tell her I don't have it, what should I say then? Confused 
These answers are really helping me see that it's her struggle, and her mistake...not mine.
Again let her know you dont have it FOR her or HER baby

If you dont owe her money, she shouldnt question you 

Good luck OP you seem kind hearted 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ModelessDiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jun 13 2013 at 3:29pm
Originally posted by PiiNkBaYZeBrA PiiNkBaYZeBrA wrote:

Hey ladies!
I need advice on giving money to my best friend. We are both 19 and she recently had a baby. However, she always asks me for money to buy her baby things and while her child is my god baby I'm starting to get stingy with my money. I work a minimum wage job (she has no job) and I'm trying to save money to pay for college, to furnish my apt. and buy myself what I want. When she did have a job she was pulling so little hours that her checks were $100 at the very most. I told her early in her pregnancy to look for a better job but she said she would find another job after the baby is born (i warned her it was a bad idea) I basically feel like Baby Daddy #2 because I am supporting this child financially and my pockets are burning! She's too afraid to ask the father for money because he already has 2 other kids and they don't know each other that well so he feels like he can just shoo her off. Whenever I hand her money I cringe and think about all the tired hours I spend at work only for my check to go into another girl's pocketsCry 
How do I tell her politely to stop asking me for money without ruining our friendship?
 
Confusedthis is why she doesn't have nice things
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ncimfabulous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2013 at 7:45pm
WOWW let's give you a round of aplause firstly for being there for your friend. If she wasn't financially stable to begin with she probably shoulda thought twice about having the baby in the first place but he/she is here now nothing anybody can do.
 
She's an adult and now she's a mother so she's gonna have to step up to provide a better life for her child it's nobody else responsiblty. As a godmom yeah you can buy the baby things every now and again but not to the determint of taking care of yourself. Next time she ask say "WHEEWW i'm out here struggling myself but I can try and help you look for a job when I have time" everytime she ask tell her that she'll stop bringing it up.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote morenaloca Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 06 2013 at 9:58pm
Originally posted by ModelessDiva ModelessDiva wrote:

Originally posted by PiiNkBaYZeBrA PiiNkBaYZeBrA wrote:

Hey ladies!
I need advice on giving money to my best friend. We are both 19 and she recently had a baby. However, she always asks me for money to buy her baby things and while her child is my god baby I'm starting to get stingy with my money. I work a minimum wage job (she has no job) and I'm trying to save money to pay for college, to furnish my apt. and buy myself what I want. When she did have a job she was pulling so little hours that her checks were $100 at the very most. I told her early in her pregnancy to look for a better job but she said she would find another job after the baby is born (i warned her it was a bad idea) I basically feel like Baby Daddy #2 because I am supporting this child financially and my pockets are burning! She's too afraid to ask the father for money because he already has 2 other kids and they don't know each other that well so he feels like he can just shoo her off. Whenever I hand her money I cringe and think about all the tired hours I spend at work only for my check to go into another girl's pocketsCry 
How do I tell her politely to stop asking me for money without ruining our friendship?
 
Confusedthis is why she doesn't have nice things

LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Omni Harmony Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 08 2013 at 3:07am
This is the type of crap I was talking about in the fatherless sons thread. She created this struggle life for her and the kid. Everytime there is pregnancy doesn't mean you have to ruin your life and others by keeping it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote blkdymondzt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2013 at 11:42pm
I am a single young mother as well with no job at the moment . I understand the struggle but I will NOT ask anyone for help . She will figure it out if  she wants to. The more you enable , the more she will continue to ask . When my friend was in a situation similar and I was the one shelling out money I bought a big thing of diapers , and told her specific infomation for government assistance and was like I can't really give anymore because I have my own things to worry about .Although I really don't dig the government thing but at minimum get WIC to pay for the child's formula and you figure out the rest. If she wants to go shopping with you , that is on her . Being that I have a child and no job I won't even dare go shopping with my friends now until I get on my feet. I am not their responsibility. Tell her that you don't have it ...If she gets mad .. that's on her . 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twisted_Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 26 2013 at 10:21pm
I had a honegurl like that..she didnt come out and ask me for money but we would be out at a restaurant.. and she came there broke.. i aint gon lie.. i paid a few times.. but after that she was watching me eat..

I understand she was a single mom but too lazy to work.. im a single mother myself i work 13-14hr days and im gonna be starting school...printer is right.. she made her bed now lay the .fk down.. women like that make single mother's look bad..i have to much pride for that.. i can barely ask my fiance for money...still haven't...
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