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At what age will you "panic"

 
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Babydoll9163 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote Babydoll9163 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 10:17am
I don't know any women who wen the donor route, so I can't speak for their experience. But my research on the children who are the product of donors is they have a lot of psychological issues. One of which is a constant fear that the men they date could be a relative of theirs.

I don't think it's terrible for any woman to want a child or seek sperm donation to have one. I'm just saying the first step to being a good parent is considering how your decisions will affect your child.

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Anah View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Anah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 10:34am
Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

I would urge any woman not to panic, because that's when your thinking and vision get cloudy. And the decisions get stranger and more illogical with each passing day

Lawd I need to send this to a friend of mine. Shes panicking and acting desperate. I think the men can smell it Ouch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 10:38am
I started panicking around 23/24 and got over it last year.  I'm 27 now.  I don't see the point in freaking out over something you don't have complete control over.  My ideal is to be in a healthy long-lasting marriage and have children, but if I can't have that, I'd rather not settle.  Fortuneately and unfortuneately, I have had the opportunity to witness what happens when women put arbitrary timelines ahead of their happiness and its some scary stuff.  I don't want to find myself in that situation.

I have come to terms that not everyone gets married, and being unmarried is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to a woman.  I also realized that I don't want to be one of those women whose happiness is directly correlated to her relationship status.  I have loads of other things going for me other than my romantic life, so saying I can't be content inspite of having a loving family, great friends, and a promising career is just silly.

So at this point I don't have any imaginary age in which I will freak out.  I've just decided to live my life and deal with issues as they come.  Hopefully it all works out the way I would like.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jr1127 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 10:44am
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

I started panicking around 23/24 and got over it last year.  I'm 27 now.  I don't see the point in freaking out over something you don't have complete control over.  My ideal is to be in a healthy long-lasting marriage and have children, but if I can't have that, I'd rather not settle.  Fortuneately and unfortuneately, I have had the opportunity to witness what happens when women put arbitrary timelines ahead of their happiness and its some scary stuff.  I don't want to find myself in that situation.

I have come to terms that not everyone gets married, and being unmarried is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to a woman.  I also realized that I don't want to be one of those women whose happiness is directly correlated to her relationship status.  I have loads of other things going for me other than my romantic life, so saying I can't be content inspite of having a loving family, great friends, and a promising career is just silly.

So at this point I don't have any imaginary age in which I will freak out.  I've just decided to live my life and deal with issues as they come.  Hopefully it all works out the way I would like.
What would happen when they do but arbitrary timelines??
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PREACH!!!, I have told many that if you are an black woman and your sole goal is to get married by a certain age, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  Especially in cities like DC, where I live...a very large amount of women are attractive, have good federal jobs, and many many many of them are not married and the prospects are low.  SO LIVE YOUR LIFE, marriage is not the end all be all.
Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

I started panicking around 23/24 and got over it last year.  I'm 27 now.  I don't see the point in freaking out over something you don't have complete control over.  My ideal is to be in a healthy long-lasting marriage and have children, but if I can't have that, I'd rather not settle.  Fortuneately and unfortuneately, I have had the opportunity to witness what happens when women put arbitrary timelines ahead of their happiness and its some scary stuff.  I don't want to find myself in that situation.

I have come to terms that not everyone gets married, and being unmarried is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to a woman.  I also realized that I don't want to be one of those women whose happiness is directly correlated to her relationship status.  I have loads of other things going for me other than my romantic life, so saying I can't be content inspite of having a loving family, great friends, and a promising career is just silly.

So at this point I don't have any imaginary age in which I will freak out.  I've just decided to live my life and deal with issues as they come.  Hopefully it all works out the way I would like.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tbaby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 10:57am
Originally posted by used2braid used2braid wrote:

Alright ladies, lets be completely real here.
If you're already married, at what age did you think you were going to get married and what age did you end up getting married?


I thought I'd be married by 26 and have kids by 28.  Met a great guy at 27, but I left him to join the armyLOL

Around 30 I started to really worry about not ever finding a good man.  At 34-35 I was making moves to adopt or do foster care, and buy a house.  Figured marriage wasn't going to happen and accepted it.

Met future husband at 36, got married, now have 2 kids, a house, and a great career.  God gave me all that I wished for, but on His time schedule, not mine.




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uppitynegroid View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 11:02am
Originally posted by Jr1127 Jr1127 wrote:

Originally posted by uppitynegroid uppitynegroid wrote:

I started panicking around 23/24 and got over it last year.  I'm 27 now.  I don't see the point in freaking out over something you don't have complete control over.  My ideal is to be in a healthy long-lasting marriage and have children, but if I can't have that, I'd rather not settle.  Fortuneately and unfortuneately, I have had the opportunity to witness what happens when women put arbitrary timelines ahead of their happiness and its some scary stuff.  I don't want to find myself in that situation.

I have come to terms that not everyone gets married, and being unmarried is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to a woman.  I also realized that I don't want to be one of those women whose happiness is directly correlated to her relationship status.  I have loads of other things going for me other than my romantic life, so saying I can't be content inspite of having a loving family, great friends, and a promising career is just silly.

So at this point I don't have any imaginary age in which I will freak out.  I've just decided to live my life and deal with issues as they come.  Hopefully it all works out the way I would like.
What would happen when they do but arbitrary timelines??

They overlook a lot of obvious flaws in the man or in the relationship because their sole concern is marriage.  When they eventually marry they end up dealing with very stressful relationship problems that cause them to be worse off than when they were single.  Dealing with incurable STDs, physical/verbal abuse or perpetual infidelity, make going to bed lonely seem like a walk in the park.  Its better to take your time and date with a clear head so you can be sure you are doing the right thing, because relationships can be trying even when you're with the right person.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote melly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 11:04am
I believe that things happen when their supposed to happen, not when you want it to happen.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote teendiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 11:06am
Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:



Originally posted by Babydoll9163 Babydoll9163 wrote:



Willingly entering single motherhood? Let us know how that works out Sleepy

With proper planning, like with everything else, she'll be fine.


Originally posted by Babydoll9163 Babydoll9163 wrote:


It's not so much about "could you" as "should you"





She should if that is what she wants to do. I don't see anything wrong with it. If you are sh*tty and irresponsible, you will be sh*tty and irresponsible with or with out another parent.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Bunnyahh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 11:11am
 
Originally posted by used2braid used2braid wrote:

Alright ladies, lets be completely real here.
If you're already married, at what age did you think you were going to get married and what age did you end up getting married?

I thought I was gonna get married early 20s, ended up getting married early 20s.
I was never worried cuz I found him early when I was in my teens.  I've always had a man ready to marry me anyway.  If he were to die tomorrow, I'm sure I'd be married within 2 yrs
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