Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Relationships
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Am I in the right?
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Angkor Cambodian Hair
 

Am I in the right?

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
It Always Begin With Beautiful Hair

Bootiful Cream



Author
tochid View Drop Down
New Member
New Member


Joined: Jul 17 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 28
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tochid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Am I in the right?
    Posted: Dec 26 2012 at 8:49pm
Hello ladies,
I am an extreme lurker, but I really need some serious advice about a situation. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

I've known my ex bf since I was 16, Im 22 now. We were best friends. We started dating when I was 18 and we dated for 2 years then he broke up with me. When he broke up it was a 'break' because he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted a gf. We still had sex. Four months after the break up he told me he definitely did not want a gf at the time. We continued to have sex. I don't know why I kept it going even though I was beginning to feel horrible about it as time went on. So this went on for a year and by the end of that year I was really sick and tired of it and was trying to figure out how to tell him to off. Then he came out of nowhere and said lets get back together and I got back together with him cuz this is what I wanted right? This was why I was still having sex with him cuz maybe he'd change his mind. That was a BIG mistake!

I could never really get over our break up and it made me insecure and jealous during our re-try of a relationship. I also realized there was a lot of things I could not stand about him during this time that I didn't notice before. He's a bit immature, always broke, mama's boy. I knew I was going to have to break up with him when we were driving somewhere with my friend and he said with no shame that his mom was writing his resume for him. Also I received no xmas or bday present because he was broke. I was broke too, but managed to scrape up some $ to buy him a really nice bday present and gave him money for sneakers for xmas.

So fast forward to September and I break up with him and tell him it was because I could not get over our break up and how I felt I was treated like sh*t. He later turns it around saying I kept going along with it blah blah(which I know is true and I have to take responsibilty for my part), then broke off all contact saying it was best we never speak again. This really affected me cuz Ive known him for so long he's a major part of my life. Then he ran home to his mom in NJ (we're in the DC suburbs) the next day. She called me talking about why did you abandon my son? Tf? Anyways we got back together because I just felt bad about the whole thing.

I knew maybe a week after that this was not going to work. Then I got a job in October (just graduated college in May and moved back to my hometown) and we live 40 mins away from each other so I became busy and wasn't available like I was before. So after Thanksgiving he broke up with me saying I was too busy, but of course we can still remain friends. 'Then he told me he wasn't going to tell his mom that we broke up.

Come to find out his idea of "friends" is the same one as before where sex and intimacy is involved but no real relationship . I'm confused cuz its like he didn't even listen to anything I said when I broke up with him. Like you break up with me before the holidays and you still want to , but not give me a present? I'm not really materialistic but now its becoming really obvious to me why he did that at the time he did. We haven't had sex since we broke up and I think i've made it very clear through my actions that intimacy part of our relationship is not going to happen, but its like he doesn't get it. 

I've also been a bit standoffish in our text communications and anytime we happen to see each other, but I feel he's still not getting it. So now I feel I have to be mean, but I don't want to cuz I try to avoid confrontation and I've known him for so long, but I feel this is all he will understand. He texted me today saying "my mom said she is disappointed she never got a Christmas call from you yesterday". So I texted back 'sh*t happens' I feel bad about it but at the same time I don't care. So am I wrong? 

This is hard because its not like his a malicious person. He's a nice guy, but I feel he's manipulative in a way that you don't really realize.

Thanks
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
indiecat View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 07 2006
Location: Cali
Status: Offline
Points: 66542
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote indiecat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 26 2012 at 8:54pm
is the sex that good?
Back to Top
tochid View Drop Down
New Member
New Member


Joined: Jul 17 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 28
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tochid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 26 2012 at 8:59pm
Unfortunately yes.
Back to Top
Colby View Drop Down
Junior Member
Junior Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 10 2011
Location: NYC
Status: Offline
Points: 620
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Colby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 26 2012 at 9:01pm
^^LOL what Indie said! no matter how good the d is you need a man & he's not there yet. what you running home to mama for? how old are we now? you should focus on yourself & your new job & everything will fall into place from there. stop letting him waste your time & toy with you.
Back to Top
BBpants View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 24 2011
Location: No1curr
Status: Offline
Points: 197927
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 26 2012 at 9:06pm
He seems like a waste of time.....
Back to Top
tochid View Drop Down
New Member
New Member


Joined: Jul 17 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 28
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tochid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 26 2012 at 9:07pm
Thanks Colby. I feel like I need validation more than advice. Whenever I try to talk to my friends about the situation they're always like, but he's so nice blah blah blah. Maybe cuz we're all young? I feel what I'm doing now is the right thing tho. Thanks.
Back to Top
greenttby View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 08 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 11989
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote greenttby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2012 at 12:14am
Its time that you try and live without him for a while..keep us posted.
Back to Top
Midna View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 02 2010
Location: Hell
Status: Offline
Points: 234082
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (5) Thanks(5)   Quote Midna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2012 at 3:20am
Leave that bum ass fool and don't fall for that crap again. An ex is an ex so treat him like one. You continuing to bone him after he broke up with you and keeping you in the dark about what you two were was a huuuuuge waste of time and I strongly suggest you never put yourself through anything like that again for the sake of your sanity and self esteem. Not a good idea ever.

Anyway, I get that you knew this guy for a long time, but OP, it's time to let him go. It is clear this guy does not better your life in any way and is not committed to you either. He can take you back and dump you and he knows he still has access to your panties.

This man does not compliment you in any way other than a romp in the sack. He does not better you other than getting your punani hot and wet. He does not improve your life other than giving you an orgasm. Other than being a good sex toy, this guy is basically something to babysit and you already know you can do better which is exactly why you find yourself annoyed with him; while you're doing better for yourself, he's sitting back and being dependent on others.

Due to the unnecessary rough history you two share, I suggest plain cutting him off and ignoring him.

My first relationship went exactly like this but within 6 months I got over him and stopped banging him and suddenly, he was magically in love with me all over again and regretted dumping me. He'd try to tell me he loves me and one day I just told him I no longer feel that way.

Dude then gives me a year of drama and finally one day, I told him I'm done. AND I WAS DONE! He texted me a couple weeks later saying he bought a present for me, but I didn't give a fuuuuck. I really was done. That was the last contact I ever had with him and that was three years ago.
Back to Top
DarkestBeauty View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: Sep 27 2012
Location: Miami
Status: Offline
Points: 2128
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DarkestBeauty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2012 at 12:41pm

Move on....

Back to Top
sugabanana View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 08 2011
Location: Mafia Town
Status: Online
Points: 92769
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sugabanana Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 27 2012 at 12:51pm
See you later mama's boy...Plus he's broke!!!
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Little Black Scarf
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down