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Heaven_lei View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 9:55pm
It was about 5 years ago that we stopped being intimate. I dont have feelings for him like that. its mainly because I feel betrayed and used. Im not out to get them or even trying to sabotage their happily ever after. Im just like why am I being treated like I should be fine with this and that I can just drop it. Its the principle behind the whole thing. Why the surrades, why the lies? and how come I had to ask for an apology for them both, and my sister hasnt even given one to mention the least....
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curlygirl11 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:02pm
I don't think you're wrong to feel betrayed either.

If there was nothing wrong with them dating then everybody wouldn't have been lying to you and hiding things.

There is no way I would mess with somebody one of my sisters had ever been with - even if they had only tongue kissed each other a decade ago. I think it just kind of goes without saying in most families.

I'm just curious, were you and your sister close with each other before all of this or have the 2 of you been a little distant or competative with each other in the past? I'm just trying to figure out how this is okay in her mind. Like has she had a tendency to try to compete with you and have whatever you have?
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Heaven_lei View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:08pm
I am so like you Curly, I wouldnt want sloppy left overs, i dont even talk to my homegirls ex let alone someone my sister had already been involved with. My sister and I have never been I would say veryclose..I mean we would hang out from time to time. But I have always had that feeling that she always has wanted things I had and possibly was jealous of how I lived mylife... I think that is why she went for him to prove something in her mind or something. I dont know why she feels its okay. I keep questioning myself and wondering maybe I am tripping but then i get to thinking..NO its just not right, the principle behind it all is just not right. There is no other way I can spin it in my mind
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Natural Lady View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:09pm
^^I agree with everything curly just said and was wondering the same thing.  
 
Heaven I know what you mean by the principle. That's a lot of people lying to your face.  Well I think that you need some space and talk to your sister. Family is so important and you don't want any man to come in between you and your family.
 
Hug
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Heaven_lei View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:14pm
Originally posted by Natural Lady Natural Lady wrote:

^^I agree with everything curly just said and was wondering the same thing.  
 
Heaven I know what you mean by the principle. That's a lot of people lying to your face.  Well I think that you need some space and talk to your sister. Family is so important and you don't want any man to come in between you and your family.
 
Hug


Thanks so much for that....Im just venting....i do need space, tht's my biggest thing right now, just need time to get over it. They all expect me to be like fine w/ this.....its important that I learn from this
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Heaven_lei View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:16pm
I'm sure one day I will be able to talk to my lil sister but its just not right now. I need that time away from them ALL..you know what I mean
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curlygirl11 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:19pm
Dang Heaven, I'm SO sorry you're going through this mess right now.

I'm thinking your sister knows she is wrong and that's why she hasn't said much to you.

ITA with you and Natural. I couldn't even mess with anybody one of my homegirls used to date (especially if they were physical with each other).....let alone a relative.

What confuses me most is that your mom is condoning such mess. I don't get it. My dad would stomp a whole in some man's azz for trying to be involved with more than 1 of his daughters.....my family ain't no damn heiram (sp?).   

I'm just curious to know if your mom, your sister and this guy will attempt to hide this convoluted mess from the rest of your family and the people you all go to church with. If they do, then you KNOW for sure that they know it's wrong and they are just blatantly disregarding your feelings. If they have no problem with others knowing then it may truly be a case of them having a different value system.
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Heaven_lei View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:22pm
Wow Curly you hit the nail right on the head...no one in the church knows what went down w/ that guy and I..and nope MOM wouldnt even bring the family into this, she needs them to contribute to the wedding. Gosh just talking to you shed yet even more light on the situation...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:26pm

You are not wrong for feeling the way that you do.   Now I'm still stuck on your sister, why would she want to be with a man that her sister knows how he feels, smells, etc.etc. Clearly something is not right with her.

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Shonnamichele View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 05 2009 at 10:34pm
Hey Sis.....you are sooo not wrong for feeling the way that you do.....the fact that he waited so long to tell you let's you know that he knew he was wrong......
Girl keep your head up and stay strong!!!!!!!!
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