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Always fighting with friends

 
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mrshairdo View Drop Down
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    Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:04pm
Ughhhh so I'm having an issue

I live with two girls who I became friends with last year at school (I recently returned to uni to finish my undergrad) so I'm a lot older than most ppl there (the girls are 21 and I'm 27)....ever since we moved in together we just keep fighting and fighting

This most recent fight had to do with cleaning...the two of them NEVER clean and while I'm not perfect myself (who is?) I always make the effort and most of the time I feel like I'm the only one who gives a fucc about keeping the house clean

A few days ago I finally had enough (the dishes had been piled up in the sink for like 2 weeks, to the point where I couldn't even wash a utensil or cup) and I blew up....the majority of the dishes are ones that I own so I washed everything and I took all my shiit upstairs ... a few days before that I blew up on the one roomie I'm closer to and I was just cussing an cussing about howit's so disrespectful that they don't give a shiit about keeping our house clean

So since then none of us have spoken. Yesterday was supposed to be our christmas dinner but I copped out because I've just been in my own funk lately (dealing with family issues) and I didn't want to bring down the mood...so the show went on without me which was fine...I got another mutual friend to bring the gifts I bought for them downstairs so they could open them when it was time...but today I'm seeing that they left the gifts I bought them plus the gifts they got me on the floor in the corner (should I be offended?)...I kinda think it's rude and was really rude to not at least say thank you (at least I got someone to give it to them on my behalf)

Anyway, now I feel like maybe I just can't be friends with young ppl? I don't know...like am I wrong? Keep in mind for the last two months, every single time the dishes have piled up, i've been the one to do them (everyone's dirty dishes) and so finally I was just like fucc this..

I don't know what to do cuz we have 4 more months to live together and I feel sooo resentful and I'm questioning if I should be in these friendships

Part of me knows that these are just the perils of living together and friendships can be reconciled once ppl have distance but I really don't know how I'll get through the next four months and I just don't know if in general i have the patience for younger ppl who are still maturing (part of me doesn't blame them cuz I was young once too but fucc)

HELP?

disclaimer: Lord I pray this thread doesn't go to the left...it's not about an intimate relationship so I'm hoping this can stay on track with true, honest opinions...sometimes anonymous opinions can help!
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BBpants View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:18pm
Instead of blowing up and cursing them out, you should have a sit down with the them and go over the rules of the house. No pointing out who did what because that will cause an another argument. Finish the rest of the month on a clean slate.

And if that doesn't work...Hide all dishes and cups and replace it with paper plates and cups LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mrshairdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:22pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Instead of blowing up and cursing them out, you should have a sit down with the them and go over the rules of the house. No pointing out who did what because that will cause an another argument. Finish the rest of the month on a clean slate.

And if that doesn't work...Hide all dishes and cups and replace it with paper plates and cups LOL

i blew up cuz it had been building up and I couldn't take it anymore...we've had sitdowns before where we've addressed all of this but NOTHING changes.. 

i don't know what else to do ...i already took all my dishes upstairs but I think now they're pissed about that

soo frustrating!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote oh_so_moody Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:23pm
You couldn't put your ish aside to give them their gifts but u want them to put their ish aside to open your gifts?

You guys (all of you) either need to grow up or part ways.

If you can't have peace in your home, where can you have it?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote mrshairdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:24pm
Originally posted by oh_so_moody oh_so_moody wrote:

You couldn't put your ish aside to give them their gifts but u want them to put their ish aside to open your gifts?

You guys (all of you) either need to grow up or part ways.

If you can't have peace in your home, where can you have it?


well shiit at least I made sure they were delivered to them...
but yea I do agree that I could've gone about it better. I didn't expect them to leave the gifts I got them there tho but yea I guess I should've handled that better

i just don't know what to do to for the future because I can't see them changing
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (10) Thanks(10)   Quote coconess Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:31pm
you don't sound much more mature than them.. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote herwoman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:31pm
They are at dinner calling you childish.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:35pm
Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Instead of blowing up and cursing them out, you should have a sit down with the them and go over the rules of the house. No pointing out who did what because that will cause an another argument. Finish the rest of the month on a clean slate.

And if that doesn't work...Hide all dishes and cups and replace it with paper plates and cups LOL

i blew up cuz it had been building up and I couldn't take it anymore...we've had sitdowns before where we've addressed all of this but NOTHING changes.. 

i don't know what else to do ...i already took all my dishes upstairs but I think now they're pissed about that

soo frustrating!


The sit downs didn't work? Hmmm that is very frustrating. I would have took my dishes upstairs too then LOL But that's so disgusting that they let the dishes pile up for two weeks....Beyond gross. I don't think I would want to have a dirty friend like that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mrshairdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 9:38pm
Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Originally posted by mrshairdo mrshairdo wrote:

Originally posted by BBpants BBpants wrote:

Instead of blowing up and cursing them out, you should have a sit down with the them and go over the rules of the house. No pointing out who did what because that will cause an another argument. Finish the rest of the month on a clean slate.

And if that doesn't work...Hide all dishes and cups and replace it with paper plates and cups LOL

i blew up cuz it had been building up and I couldn't take it anymore...we've had sitdowns before where we've addressed all of this but NOTHING changes.. 

i don't know what else to do ...i already took all my dishes upstairs but I think now they're pissed about that

soo frustrating!


The sit downs didn't work? Hmmm that is very frustrating. I would have took my dishes upstairs too then LOL But that's so disgusting that they let the dishes pile up for two weeks....Beyond gross. I don't think I would want to have a dirty friend like that.

yea a big pet peeve of mine is not cleaning ...it is really something that grinds my gears and I view it as disrespectful because these are the common areas we share

i definitely feel like it's that whole thing of not being able to live with your friends and I definitely feel like I need distance, I just don't know how this is going to work for the next four months


Edited by mrshairdo - Dec 21 2013 at 9:38pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote QueenBee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 21 2013 at 10:00pm
Seems like feelings are caught on both sides. I don't think you and your roomies relationship will be the same. Unless you want to pay to break your lease...tough it out for the next four months.

Have you thought about apologizing for blowing up at them and explaining the dirty dishes issue? That too keep down issues perhaps paper plates are better.
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