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Alternative Lifestyle Choices/Philosophies...

 
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 10:56am
Originally posted by Organic Organic wrote:

...and this is complicated because since I am half Indian, marriage is a HUGE deal in Indian culture. There is even a 'wedding season' where you can easily attend 3-5 weddings a day. This was a big deal in the (extended) family a few years ago because my older sister is also not married - by choice. They wanted to know what was 'wrong' with us LOL.


i need to make an indian friend so that i can attend an indian weddingLOL
hubby has a better chance of doing it though since he's in IT
i already got Nigerian down...indian and nigerian weddings i think are the most OTT and i love it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 10:58am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

to those who are unmarried and want to remain that way..do you draw up legal documents, power of attorneys, wills, and other contracts between yourself and your lifelong partner?

If and when I find a life partner, yes, we will definitely have to have certain legal documents in place because until then my mom has all that.

I also don't ever plan to combine finances so depending on the state we live in we'll have to have a contract (non-nuptial? Idk what it's actually called) that supercedes whatever common-law/community property/etc laws of the state.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CuteNSweet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:01am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:




I love steampunk and sci-fi. I wish there were more black people in it. Love love love Octavia Butler. And will definitely be supporting Will Smith's new movie. But I've already heard black people say stuff like "don't nobody wanna watch that ish" just because it's sci-fi. 


I can relate.  I'm a techie that loves everything sci-fi and very rarely have anyone to enjoy it with....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Organic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:02am
Originally posted by ShadyLady ShadyLady wrote:

By these standards, I have an alternative lifestyle. I never thought of it that way, but I'm not offended.

I have never had this burning desire a lot of women have to get married. To be honest, it seems like more of a hassle to me. I just naturally believe I can co-exist (not necessarily live with) the person I love and just be happy. Having a ring or piece of paper wouldn't make that bond any stronger IN MY EYES, although I don't knock anyone who feels otherwise.

Since middle school, people have always thought that was weird and told me I'd change my mind when I meet "the right one". I've been engaged and felt trapped. I couldn't go through with it.

I genuinely don't believe marriage is for me and wish people would stop telling me how "scared", "nervous", or "damaged" I am because I feel that way.

I also get a lot of flack because I don't have or want kids. Everytime someone finds out I'm 26 with no kids, there's this shock. I've had people blatantly ask me if something is wrong and that I can't have kids. People even casually ask about abortions. Everytime I say I don't want kids, everyone acts like I'm gonna wake up when I'm older and regret not doing it...like I can't just genuinely not want it.

Several people have called my choices selfish, and people constantly question my relationship with The Lord because of it...*sigh*.

I'm to a point where I don't care as much, but I have to admit, I don't just volunteer thus info about myself cuz I'm sick of people feeling like they need to counsel me on it.

Alll of this LOL. I was called selfish as well for not wanting kids. I think it's selfish to have kids that you don't want.

As for marriage, we went to my so's family's house for Thanksgiving and everyone kept asking when we were getting married because we make such a lovely pair. I felt claustrophobic. Just the idea of marriage makes me feel trapped and 'not myself'. It feels like I'd be wearing a pair of shoes that were not my size. I just simply cannot do something that I don't desire to do.
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EPITOME View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:02am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

to those who are unmarried and want to remain that way..do you draw up legal documents, power of attorneys, wills, and other contracts between yourself and your lifelong partner?

If and when I find a life partner, yes, we will definitely have to have certain legal documents in place because until then my mom has all that.

I also don't ever plan to combine finances so depending on the state we live in we'll have to have a contract (non-nuptial? Idk what it's actually called) that supercedes whatever common-law/community property/etc laws of the state.

 well most states dont have common law marriage anymore so that wouldn't be an issue so if you're just together community property laws wouldnt kick in..i dont think Cali has CL marriage but you should def. check


which then leads me to the...if you're willing to create a contract for that sort of stuff...why not get married and it's automatic? i am not trying to convince anyone of anything btw--i am just genuinely curious and i dont wanna write my paperBig smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Sang Froid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:09am
Yall are some interesting people.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:16am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

to those who are unmarried and want to remain that way..do you draw up legal documents, power of attorneys, wills, and other contracts between yourself and your lifelong partner?

If and when I find a life partner, yes, we will definitely have to have certain legal documents in place because until then my mom has all that.

I also don't ever plan to combine finances so depending on the state we live in we'll have to have a contract (non-nuptial? Idk what it's actually called) that supercedes whatever common-law/community property/etc laws of the state.

 well most states dont have common law marriage anymore so that wouldn't be an issue so if you're just together community property laws wouldnt kick in..i dont think Cali has CL marriage but you should def. check


which then leads me to the...if you're willing to create a contract for that sort of stuff...why not get married and it's automatic? i am not trying to convince anyone of anything btw--i am just genuinely curious and i dont wanna write my paperBig smile

In my case, I don't believe any relationship can actually last a lifetime and since divorce is too much of a hassle I don't want to get married in the first place.

My ideal ending to a relationship would be "ok so we're not into this anymore? cool. move your stuff out. see you later". No muss, no fuss.

Honestly, I don't even really want to do all the legal contracts with another person. I already have all my healthcare directives, will, etc. in place. Don't really need another person in on that stuff. Main thing would be defining our living situation so no one feels taken advantage of or whatever.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:18am
^ahh i see. well divorce is a lot quicker than it used to be lol unless you live in a fault state or are catholic or jewish. but not going through that process is of course cheaper and less time consuming.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babyk94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:19am
Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Yall are some interesting people.
This in a good way it's interesting lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nycdiva357 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 11:37am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

to those who are unmarried and want to remain that way..do you draw up legal documents, power of attorneys, wills, and other contracts between yourself and your lifelong partner?


guess lol
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