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Alternative Lifestyle Choices/Philosophies...

 
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nycdiva357 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nycdiva357 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 6:55am
- long term relationship w/ no intention to marry.-

I dont believe in the need to marry (for myself). If I'm in a long term relationship w/ someone I love- who makes me happy...and we have kids- No marriage license is ever wanted or needed by me.
When ppl hear this-- some are supportive- others feel the need to state their pointless opinion- but when it all boils down-- I have the same " i dont give a fawk what you think" attitude.

Religion-
I was raised in a house where my parents were not the same religion..so we celebrated and learned about both religions. I celebrated everything from easter to the eid. I fast for ramadan and can decorate the heck out of christmas tree. As i've gotten older-- I continue to pick and choose things I like from religions-- and apply them to my life. it isn't just islam and catholicism either....its expanded to other religions I've learned about.
My relgious beliefs tend to confuse the crap out of ppl. And its lead many people to give me their opinions on what I should believe, what I need to change, etc etc.
and yeah-- my response to that is still " i don't give a fawk"


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danni7 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote danni7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 7:19am
I've shacked up with my baby daddy. We mention marriage but we're not making any effort to do it. Mind you he's very dedicated to his church, his dad is a pastor even and he's the choir director. But we're living in "sin"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EPITOME Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 7:23am
Originally posted by ShadyLady ShadyLady wrote:


I also get a lot of flack because I don't have or want kids. Everytime someone finds out I'm 26 with no kids, there's this shock.

whenever someone on BHM says this, I genuinely wonder if they come from a neighborhood like that professor spoke about..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote melikey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 8:33am
My family talks sh*t although we have every alternative lifestyle you can name in our family. I have come to the conclusion that families just like judging. I cannot say my experience is unique.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote melikey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 8:44am
Oh, I've been vegetarian, vegan, married someone from a different country, shacked up, don't have kids although I'm physically capable, married, in my 30s, and more than can afford it.
in my family all mothers 4 sisters are different religions, we have 40+ year marriages, baby mommas, Hipsters, gays, trannies, 420 crew, crack heads, drunks, nerds, bougie, rich,destitute.
You'd think no one would have room to judge anyone else, oh, but we do!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote purpulicious01 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 8:49am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

So this has been on my mind a lot lately...alternative lifestyles/philosophies and how people respond to them in the black community.  

I find that in general black people are far less open to "alternative" ways of living. Whether it's in real life or online. It's like certain types of behaviors/beliefs/etc are just...not worth considering.

Examples:
-long term relationships with no intention of marriage
-being childfree
-certain food diets (veganism, raw, not eating processed foods, etc.)
-anti-consumption/consumerism
-serious frugality
-geek culture (steampunk, comics, going to cons, etc.)
-minimalism, simple living

So do you live an "alternative" lifestyle or have an "alternative" belief/life philosophy? How do other black people respond to it?

I'm the bolded, with moderation.

With my diet, there are many periods where I'm 100% vegan strictly, then periods where I'm not.  I eat a lot of organic foods, fruits/vegetables, not a lot of processed foods, and a complete NO to all fast food. I have relatives  that call me the 'whitish black person' they know (Wackowhatever... haters. LOL) I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, etc.

Anti-consumption - I save a lot more $ than I spend, and stay of out debt. I'll splurge once in a while but generally am not a big on buying things/shopping just for the sake of buying something. I like to have nice things/clothing and look nice, but I'll buy things only when I need them (with the exception of my hijabs/headscarves - I have to admit, I will buy a pashmina/scarf with a nice print/color when I see it, even if I don't need it Embarrassed).  I'm not the going-to-the mall-every-weekend type of girl. I'd rather go to a library, park, walking, or hiking. 

(side note: there is a great book by a psychologist, the name is slips my mind at the moment, about the effects marketing and shopping centers have on our psyche and the tactics marketers use to convince us to buy their products, unnecessary things that they convince us are necessary. The authors notes how we are in a constant battle with a our temptations and urges at these places to resist buying things that we don't need, but are told we do.)

Minimalism-simple living - Own less and live more. I'm always decluttering my house, wardrobe, and life of excess things.  Even with my wardrobe, I'll try to keep it small/medium but full of things that'll last me years and are very versatile that will not require me go shopping every month. I pray and meditate often throughout the day, like my surroundings to be peaceful, calm, and clean.  Spend a lot of time enjoying simple things, spending time with friends and family. 

I don't spend a lot of time watching tv or surfing the web. 


Is homeschooling an alternate lifestyle/belief/philosophy? If so, *raises hand*


eta: generally, the response from fellow blacks/AAs is mixed. Some are mocking and others are more accepting. I've lost count of how many AA women I've seen and actually sat down with in Whole Foods about living simply and healthier.

But then again, I don't really pay attention to others' reactions to my lifestyle, nor do I share my personal life choices with just anyone and everyone. Something only my close friends and family really are aware of. 




Edited by purpulicious01 - Dec 12 2012 at 8:57am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote OoDles O Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 8:50am
Relationships-
I actually like the idea of Marriage more than I like the thought of kids. And being that I lived with a girl friend before (And I'm never doing that again) I can say that if I live with someone who I'm totally invested in 110% ... might aswell be married to them.

Religion-
Or lack there of. I'm pretty much apathetic atheist... I don't know.. and I dont really care to know.. And my family .. especially my mom are on some religiocity. For whatever reason they think im in some sort of phase.. but I'm far past that. 

Minimal life/ Simple -
I've pretty much stripped myself down to the bare essentials (for the most part). I dont need alot of "things" and if I do buy something.. I try to rid myself of something that I own already. I also dont mind spending money on something that will last.. or something I consider classic. I think thats how Japanese people I know live. They have little space so they have to be efficient with their purchases.. and this mindset affects every aspect of life alot of times...  But to some I might just come off as a cheap ass n*cca.  oh well 
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maysay1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maysay1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 10:20am
You guys are all so interesting.

I can't remember who said upthread about trying to describe alternative without having to compare to white people...which I think is a good point. A lot of the flack I've gotten about some of these things has been from a "that's white people ish" standpoint. 

I definitely think religion has a huge part to play in certain things. I know my old church friends are like well if you don't get married, then you're going to "live in sin", which means you're going to hell. They were genuinely concerned for me (which I get).  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 10:26am

well some people are basic....I was told I was eating white people food when I brought some spring rolls to a friend's house
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maple Syrup Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 10:28am
Originally posted by ms_wonderland ms_wonderland wrote:

I used to subscribe to a lot of "alternative" thinking when i was growing up.  i kept getting told i was tryna be white so i stopped doing a lot of it during that time...some stuff has remained and come back and others i can't get back. Disapprove  

i am planning on going glutten free soon...we'll see how that works out.
 
Is there any benefits to being gluten free if you don't have a gluten allergy?
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