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Alternative Lifestyle Choices/Philosophies...

 
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ShadyLady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 2:30am
By these standards, I have an alternative lifestyle. I never thought of it that way, but I'm not offended.

I have never had this burning desire a lot of women have to get married. To be honest, it seems like more of a hassle to me. I just naturally believe I can co-exist (not necessarily live with) the person I love and just be happy. Having a ring or piece of paper wouldn't make that bond any stronger IN MY EYES, although I don't knock anyone who feels otherwise.

Since middle school, people have always thought that was weird and told me I'd change my mind when I meet "the right one". I've been engaged and felt trapped. I couldn't go through with it.

I genuinely don't believe marriage is for me and wish people would stop telling me how "scared", "nervous", or "damaged" I am because I feel that way.

I also get a lot of flack because I don't have or want kids. Everytime someone finds out I'm 26 with no kids, there's this shock. I've had people blatantly ask me if something is wrong and that I can't have kids. People even casually ask about abortions. Everytime I say I don't want kids, everyone acts like I'm gonna wake up when I'm older and regret not doing it...like I can't just genuinely not want it.

Several people have called my choices selfish, and people constantly question my relationship with The Lord because of it...*sigh*.

I'm to a point where I don't care as much, but I have to admit, I don't just volunteer thus info about myself cuz I'm sick of people feeling like they need to counsel me on it.
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jonesable View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 2:33am
I don't know of a culture that doesn't encourage marriage and procreation though...

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ShadyLady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (6) Thanks(6)   Quote ShadyLady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 2:38am
You can encourage, but respect when someone is different.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 3:06am
Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by newdiva1 newdiva1 wrote:

I remember when I went raw for a bit.  The side eyes I got from POC in general and southern white folks. LOL  It was always...."u can't have no meat or bread?  but what u gonna eat?" LOL


my little sister tried to be a vegan. we shut it down.LOL
i told her she could do it after she finishes development at like 18
 
 
 
I tried to be vegetarian in HS but I was shut down because "u don't want to eat meat?  u too good to eat me now? what? u better than me now?" and the fact that back then u didn't have the food options that u do now and on top of that it was crazy expensive.   But even if I just would eat what everybody else was eating but sans meat....I got browbeat by fams to "eat the cake Anna Mae".
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newdiva1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 3:10am
Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

 

see your idea of simple living and mine differ.  religiously JW are encouraged to be simple, frugal and not huge consumers of much so I was raised on that mindset.  but your ideas of simplistic is probably seen as extreme by 75% of the US population

I definitely agree that a lot of my views are considered extreme.

But even when I've suggested frugality as a temporary stop gap measure for someone they looked at me like I had 3 heads.

Case in point...an acquaintance was talking about how she couldn't make ends meet to pay her bills and feed her kids. I suggested a meal plan (rice/beans/frozen veggies/eggs/fresh fruit that was on sale + some food from the church/food pantry and water) that would get her through the month on 30$ for her and her 2 kids. Her response? She and her kids would not be subjected to the travesty of having to eat basically the same thing every day/meal. She wouldn't even consider it.

But in general I find that's how black people respond to stuff like that.
 
 
 
 
 
She talmbout travesty while her stomach grumblin'?  There comes a time when u simply have to stop playin'.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Prazol60 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 4:00am
I had it rough as a teen because at that time it was not ok for a black person to like rock music or grunge. I had blue hair at times, wore plaid shirts and likes alt. music groups. During this time it was popular for black teen to wear Tommy Hifiger and herringbone necklaces. I am glad stuff as changed and people can be more open about being different.

I know it is not all roses but things are changing for the better I think.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote f8dagrate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 4:30am
maybe for me it was a little different.. i got side eyes from white, black and brown for liking and doing the things i do.. this guys was singing a song by a band named Rancid, and when i stated the name of the song that he sang.. he said, him: omg u know that song? me: yea it's by rancid... him: don't get offended, but i have a lot of black friends but they only listen to rap.. me: okayyy.. him: i can't believe that you listen to themShocked    me: Stern Smile  ... and he was Hispanic by the way..



all my black friends knew i listened to rock they never said a thing.. some even rocked out to it..

i do all except on thing on your list.. and most of those things don't even seem alternative.. maybe it's because of the area u live in.. most black people in cali now, try to be different now, which makes everbody  just the same.. black people do all the above on your list..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TokyoRose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 5:22am
Yup, I get crap from both black and non-black people for my lifestyle choices, and I wish they'd stop it.

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

-being childfree
I feel that as a teacher, I have 60 of my own kids at any given moment, so I don't need any of my own.  Lately, though, I have been interested in the possibility of adoption.

-certain food diets (veganism, raw, not eating processed foods, etc.)
I tried going vegetarian on two occasions.  The first time, I lasted for 6 months.  The second time, I tried gradually cutting meat and dairy products out of my diet, but while I was doing that (still eating meat at the time) the doctor told me my protein levels were too low.  Even now, I rarely eat red meat and I only eat pork maybe 4 times per year, and doctors have STILL told me my protein levels are too low, so no vegetarianism for me.

-anti-consumption/consumerism
-serious frugality
I'm seriously into using what I have and not throwing things away unless it is absolutely necessary.  It's better for the environment. 

-geek culture (steampunk, comics, going to cons, etc.)
YUP!  I love my comics!

-minimalism, simple living
No choice.  I live in a small apartment in Japan.  I can't buy a lot of crap.


And I am an agnostic atheist.  I think with this, it is more about getting others to accept the fact that there are people that exist who don't believe in deities and I'd like to get to a point where that is okay for others to accept.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AmyAmyAmy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 5:57am
I'm quite weird, non-religious etc.

i feel i can't really open up to people.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote AmyAmyAmy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Dec 12 2012 at 5:59am
Originally posted by Napp Napp wrote:

I plan to be child free. So far no one seems to believe meCry

Apparently its a phase, my future children are being mentioned already.
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