Black Hair Media Forum Homepage
BHM BHM BHM
Forum Home Forum Home > Lets Talk > Talk, Talk, and More Talk
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Almost a year since my DH passed...(vent)
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login
Extensions Plus
 

Almost a year since my DH passed...(vent)

 
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 8>






Author
 Rating: Topic Rating: 19 Votes, Average 4.37  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
BeatriceBean View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Jun 18 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 73651
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (28) Thanks(28)   Quote BeatriceBean Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Almost a year since my DH passed...(vent)
    Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:21pm
Hey BHM,
 
I hate to bog down the forum with such a sad topic. But at times I feel embarrassed to with my family and friends expressing my feelings, especially almost a year later. People ask why I'm still so sad...that it seems like I'm a totally different person these days...why I just break out in tears at a moment's notice. I definitely understand why people turn to the internet with their emotions, now more than ever, because even though most of you don't know me, you've given me lots of support, amazing advice and wisdom throughout the years. I don't want to keep talking about it but I know that I have to, in a way that's productive.
 
I feel like I need to vent somewhere. I'm a psychologist so whenever I speak to one I'm overly analytical instead of just taking the moment for what it's intended to be. I talk to my children, but I'm a mom. I don't want them to worry about me, because it seems kind of unnatural...if that makes any sense. My other family members and friends are ready for me to hop back into life but I just don't feel ready.
 
I miss my husband every minute of every single day. There was just no one in the world like him, and there was no one who meant to me what he meant to me. It still seems unreal. This morning, I woke up at 4 am and ran downstairs to the living room wondering why he wasn't in bed. It just keeps happening. I hardly get any rest. I feel disoriented and confused all the time. Why isn't it getting any easier?
 
It's so much easier comforting others, but there just doesn't seem to be any comfort or respite or refuge anywhere. I don't know what to do. My husband wasn't my life...but now that he's gone it seems like my life is over, smh.
 
Anyway, thanks. Love you all :)
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
_ConcreteRose_ View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 12 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 134927
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote _ConcreteRose_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:25pm
HeartHugHugHug
Back to Top
Senior Detective View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 21 2013
Location: Fly on the wall
Status: Offline
Points: 41279
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Senior Detective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:25pm
HugHeartHug
Back to Top
yaya24 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 21 2008
Location: Bliss ♥.♥.♥
Status: Offline
Points: 55933
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote yaya24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:27pm
Sorry about your loss. 
Vent.  Praying for peace for you during this hard time.

Back to Top
nekamarie83 View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Dec 28 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 168211
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:30pm
Hug &  Heart  to you bbean. 

i hope that you take the time to talk to or vent with someone (kids, church, professional, support group) who can physically be there in your space and validate you and your feelings. and as a kid? i'd want my mom to talk to me as opposed to suffering alone and feeling as though i'm not helping her. you and your kids can help each other.  

you know the rule, as a psychologist, what would you tell/suggest to a client? 


Edited by nekamarie83 - Jul 21 2014 at 4:33pm
Back to Top
AwesomeAries View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Aug 25 2012
Status: Offline
Points: 85379
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote AwesomeAries Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:30pm
Beatrice sorry for your lost
I lost someone close to me a while back. 2 years after they passed away I woke up, picked up the phone and dialed their number. When the message played that the number was disconnected I burst into tears. I know how it feels to try to be strong and put up a front for everyone else. You have to let yourself grieve Hug
Back to Top
uppitynegroid View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: Jul 28 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 43643
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote uppitynegroid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:31pm
Omg.  I noticed your absence from here and wondered why we didn't see you around as much.

As "unnatural" as it may seem to discuss this with your kids, I think you need to.  Keeping feelings like this to yourself only makes things worse.  I think you need to express your feelings and establish a healthy outlet.  Its not going to make you miss your husband any less, but at least you'll have a way of processing your feelings.

Hug
Back to Top
CLCNY20 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar

Joined: May 01 2008
Location: Why?
Status: Online
Points: 967599
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote CLCNY20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:31pm
aww! :(  I am so sorry, and you have no need to apologize to us for wanting to vent, that's what those of us who are serious on the board are here for!
Back to Top
Senior Detective View Drop Down
VIP Member
VIP Member
Avatar

Joined: Apr 21 2013
Location: Fly on the wall
Status: Offline
Points: 41279
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Senior Detective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:32pm
Take as long as you need to feel whatever you want to feel.  There is no rhyme or reason to grieving.  No right or wrong way to mourn a loss.   He was your soulmate & is still with you in spirit.   I wish you the best in all you do.  His life was fulfilled spending his best years with you.   Everyone must go some time, you didn't deserve to have him taken so soon, but believe that he'd want you to feel better.

Take care BB.  You can pm me anytime 
Back to Top
jonesable View Drop Down
Elite Member
Elite Member
Avatar

Joined: Oct 12 2010
Location: SC
Status: Offline
Points: 287453
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote jonesable Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 21 2014 at 4:33pm
Awww BB.

You remind me so much of my mama.
She misses my dad so much.

Its been two years and she is better but she still has her moments that she is deeply sad.
They were gonna have the house to themselves since my little sis is off to college now.

I feel so bad for you.
It must feel like you are missing your partner in crime

Talk about your great memories with your children and family.

My mom ended up connecting to other widows and its helped her a lot.
She said it helps to talk to other women who feels what she feels
Back to Top
Get Longer Healthier Faster Growing Hair
Get Healthier Stronger Longer Hair
Glam Twinz
Weave Connection
Human Hair Wigs
Wefting Training
Brazilian Hair
Brazilian Hair
Wig and Hair Extension on Amazon
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 8>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down