I hate to bog down the forum with such a sad topic. But at times I feel embarrassed to with my family and friends expressing my feelings, especially almost a year later. People ask why I'm still so sad...that it seems like I'm a totally different person these days...why I just break out in tears at a moment's notice. I definitely understand why people turn to the internet with their emotions, now more than ever, because even though most of you don't know me, you've given me lots of support, amazing advice and wisdom throughout the years. I don't want to keep talking about it but I know that I have to, in a way that's productive.
I feel like I need to vent somewhere. I'm a psychologist so whenever I speak to one I'm overly analytical instead of just taking the moment for what it's intended to be. I talk to my children, but I'm a mom. I don't want them to worry about me, because it seems kind of unnatural...if that makes any sense. My other family members and friends are ready for me to hop back into life but I just don't feel ready.
I miss my husband every minute of every single day. There was just no one in the world like him, and there was no one who meant to me what he meant to me. It still seems unreal. This morning, I woke up at 4 am and ran downstairs to the living room wondering why he wasn't in bed. It just keeps happening. I hardly get any rest. I feel disoriented and confused all the time. Why isn't it getting any easier?
It's so much easier comforting others, but there just doesn't seem to be any comfort or respite or refuge anywhere. I don't know what to do. My husband wasn't my life...but now that he's gone it seems like my life is over, smh.
Anyway, thanks. Love you all :)