some of y'all like to use this "argument" to excess and use it as an attempt to demean a person's life experiences and even bring into question their "womanhood". I notice that this argument is always directed at females, never at males, which underlines its sexist nature
It really needs to stop. I've been on the receiving end of that myself but what prompted this post is that I noticed that another poster also got this thrown in her face in another thread (that I lurked in but did not participate) over a benign observation. It irked me to no end, as it was extremely uncalled for. In this particular case, the "accusation" was made by a man but plenty of female posters are guilty of doing this.
FACT: Just because a woman is past 35, single and childless DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY EQUATE BITTERNESS and BAD CHOICES. This is an incredibly sexist and presumptuous assumption that does not take into account many factors such as:
- The fact that the person may simply not have met the right person for her YET(not every human being on the planet can form pairs). Some people meet that person early, some person meet him/her later in life and some, never. That does not make the person less valid as a human being. Wouldn't it be more healthy to not strive to form pairs at all costs, especially if you KNOW that the person is not right for you? It's called maturity and self-knowledge, not irrelevance. Some of these ladies have a wealth of experience that is enviable and that some could actually learn from.
- Procreation is not the ONLY means of validation for a female. She may have good friends, a good support system, family members, a career they like, other forms of male companionship, etc... Not procreating does NOT make one less of a woman and there are plenty of women out there who DO NOT WANT KIDS for a myriad of reasons.
- Marriage is NOT the ultimate goal for every single woman out there. I know some of you are hellbent on thinking that the ring makes the woman but NOT EVERY ONE AGREES WITH YOU. If it's right for you, great. But do not belittle those who do not choose to follow the same path as you. Some of us choose not to enter that type of ritualized, contractual agreement because it does not suit us, has never suited us or does not suit us anymore and are perfectly content with other types of relationship arrangements with the other sex (or same sex, if that is what floats your boat)
- "Manlessness" is not a disease or a deficiency, nor does it automatically bring about bitterness. That line of thinking always stems from sexism, as it is never levelled against bachelors. It pains me that this should have to be pointed out on a female forum. Maybe the age of the average poster might explain the need for this, I don't know.
- If you use that retort in order to belittle another poster that you have a disagreement with, it shows your lack of maturity and you may very well BE THE ACTUAL LOSER, as your belief system is such that you believe you are nothing without a man (or woman).
- In conclusion, think before you speak, as there are many forms of discrimination and this is definitely one. young does not have to equal stupid.