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A filthy friend and bad father a long story

 
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tatee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (8) Thanks(8)   Quote tatee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 9:32am
its a shame our families and community arent tight enough that a group of men and women who love them couldnt run up in his house and choke him up real quick while the others cook and clean. letting him know that yeah we get you going through something right but this is gonna stop and we will be back.
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petiteone29 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote petiteone29 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 11:17am
did they call?
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dee1672 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dee1672 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 12:21pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

its a shame our families and community arent tight enough that a group of men and women who love them couldnt run up in his house and choke him up real quick while the others cook and clean. letting him know that yeah we get you going through something right but this is gonna stop and we will be back.


Agreed. Im not sure how much help CPS will be. Sounds like the money doesnt have her act together either. What would they do? Place her in foster care? I cant even imagine there are relatives close enough for CPS to place her with because they would have stepped in already. Sad situation. As someone else said, he does sound depressed. Have you tried approaching him from a position of concern instead of 'the you aint ish' angle?
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jmarie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 12:47pm
I sent her the information this morning she hasn't gotten back to me yet. Maybe she'll post and let us know if she did it. I have tried to show concern. I have asked to clean the house myself, I tell him if I hear about any job openings, I even told him to try therapy, but he refuses everything. The only thing I can't show concern about is selling the foodstamps for weed money, instead of buying food
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chyna_Li Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 12:49pm
Im surprised the daughter has not just up and left.
I cannot live in filth idc if it is with my parents
obviously this man is depressed and wants his daughter to feel his depression as well.
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jmarie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 12:51pm
She can't just up and leave. He has legal custody of her, plus she's only 14yrs old.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 12:59pm
Im not understanding why you fear him or him knowing its you. He should be shamed for the way you say he is living and treating his daughter. If no one here had offered to do it would you have said/done nothing?... Either way hes going to suspect you.....I just hope the daughter is put with stable home.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MzCaliky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 1:00pm
Originally posted by jmarie jmarie wrote:

I called dss on somebody before, and they found out it was me and I didn't leave my name.  someone let them here the recording. I even called the police on someone from a pay phone before and that person got to here the recording. I think massachusetts is really corrupt.  I know this sounds crazy but it really happened.   You have no proof of this. Our hotline does not record the calls and most states don't. We do not even have caller id. It is a crime in our state for the worker to release the name of the reporting source without a court order. 

If someone on here is willing to do it pm me and I will give you the information.

Lies! I work on an abuse hotline and we don't do that EVER. That is what the people do to get people to tell that they are the one who made the report. They accuse several people to see their reactions. I get so tired of hearing this. 

Sadly, unless there is more you probably don't have enough information for a report. 

You say the house is nasty but you will need more information than a dirty floor. Are the dishes stacked high? Is there mold growing on them? Is the carpet black with dirt? Is there a insect or rodent infestation? Are there sheets on the bed? Is the toilet broken?  You basically need to paint a picture of what CPS would see when they walk in the house. Is there a safety hazard? 

Re: the child eating
has she ever told you she was hungry and did not have any food at home? When I say no food even Ramen noodles count as food. 

Do you know specifically how the dad's drinking is effecting the child? Do you know how much he drinks? Does he drive under the influence with the child in the car?

To be on the safe side you need to make a report just so they have a running record of what is going on. You never know what someone else has called in and reported and what CPS already knows about the father. His drinking could be in violation of some previous court order.Plus I think it is wrong not to report a child being abused or neglected because you don't want someone to be mad at you. It's not about you. 

And finally, please do not make repeated reports with the exact same allegations. If they investigated it once they will not investigate the exact same allegations twice. You have no idea the outcome of the investigation so just because the kids do not get removed does not mean nothing happened. The family probably just won't tell you about it and confidentiality laws prevent anyone with the agency from telling you unless you have some direct involvement with the case. 

be prepared when you call to give names, addresses, phone numbers and approximate dates of what you witnessed or know to be true. 

Don't call the mom. There is a reason the kid is still living with that slob, she must have her own issues. You don't think the kid has told the mom what is going on?





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petiteone29 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote petiteone29 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 1:05pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

its a shame our families and community arent tight enough that a group of men and women who love them couldnt run up in his house and choke him up real quick while the others cook and clean. letting him know that yeah we get you going through something right but this is gonna stop and we will be back.



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jmarie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jmarie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Oct 31 2013 at 1:06pm
I already know he'll suspect me. I'm afraid to report because of his temper. I don't know what he is capable of doing. They might not do anything, kids only get taken away for abuse and he's not physically abusing her.  You don't think the kid has told the mom what is going on?  The mom picks her up from his house sometimes so I'm pretty sure she's seen everything.  I think I'm the only person who calls him out on his sh*t.


Edited by jmarie - Oct 31 2013 at 1:10pm
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