Black Hair Media Forum : When do you cut someone off financially? http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ Thu, 23 May 2013 16:46:10 +0000 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 17:15:29 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 10.15 360 Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=354203 <![CDATA[Black Hair Media Forum]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com//forum_images/BHM_Logo_v5_Forum.jpg http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : seem sweet of you just don&#039;t...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116556.html#10116556 Author: rell85
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 5:15pm

seem sweet of you just don't let them run over you, you know what's reasonable]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 17:15:29 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116556.html#10116556 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : Don&#039;t do itDon&#039;t even...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116336.html#10116336 Author: Addicted19034
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 2:59pm

Don't do it

Don't even think it

Chuck them the dueces]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 14:59:27 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116336.html#10116336 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : draw up a contract.you will buy...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116329.html#10116329 Author: Flowing-Ice
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 2:56pm

draw up a contract. 
you will buy the home, but not the furniture. and if thats going to happen...

make sure the home is move-in ready. so there won't be continued intervention by you because of repairs. make sure its a realistic home that they can furnish and upkeep. giving 2 people a 6/7 bedroom home with multiple bathrooms and rec rooms might pressure them to furnish it with money they don't necessarily have. 3 acres might be a problem if they aren't going to want to hire someone to keep up the property. 
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 14:56:34 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116329.html#10116329 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : I agree with TC(even tho I see...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116302.html#10116302 Author: PurpleHaze
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 2:46pm

I agree with TC

(even tho I see some things have been poofed)

eta: are we talking about a Mom?


Edited by PurpleHaze - Feb 03 2013 at 2:46pm]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 14:46:02 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116302.html#10116302 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : well OP poofed--but this sounds...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116155.html#10116155 Author: EPITOME
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:49pm

well OP poofed--but this sounds like it could be more trouble then it's worth]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 13:49:35 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116155.html#10116155 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : iGotSunshine wrote: ThoughtCouture...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116154.html#10116154 Author: sexyandfamous
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:49pm

Originally posted by iGotSunshine iGotSunshine wrote:

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

If I'm gifting someone a home, guess what? I'm letting you know what I'm gifting. The home, not the furniture and everything else for the home. Unless I was planning to furnish the home too, which...by the way...is entirely up to me to decide.

That's my whole point. No one is manipulating me into doing anything for them, just because we're related.

A gift is not a never ending thing.
 
i totally agree...

trueeee 


Samone i dont think she "needs a home" she owns her mobile home 
s/o was going to help her upgrade but now she's doing too much 

i just feel that it's drama waiting to happen so i told him to look at this foreclosed home for 50k and put some walmart furniture in it. sign everything over to her and whatever she does with it, is what she does with it.





I think it's super nice that your s/o wants (and can) give his parents a home, therefore a better place to live but he needs to draw the line on how far the gifting goes.

First he needs to check how much insurance would cost for the houses he is interested. He needs to have an idea in case it does end up costing too much (a house has maintenance expenses, utilities, etc) so he should get a house that his parents can afford to maintain.

They make 5k but if something happens and one of them cannot work anymore, the house will become a burden for the employed one.

Then he needs to have the talk that other members suggested, where they are aware that the insurance and bills are paid by them, not him, because the house will be in their name.

This story might not end up well a few years from now without a little chat......
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 13:49:11 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116154.html#10116154 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : A house like that in a good neighborhood...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116142.html#10116142 Author: sexyandfamous
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:43pm

A house like that in a good neighborhood in LA would be at least a millionCry]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 13:43:04 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116142.html#10116142 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : iGotSunshine wrote:we&#039;re...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116140.html#10116140 Author: sexyandfamous
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 1:42pm

Originally posted by iGotSunshine iGotSunshine wrote:

we're looking in Allen and McKinney. (suburbs of dallas) 
real estate so cheap even if u dont get a foreclosure u can get a nice home for 150k 


damn just looked McKinney real estate up out of curiosity and found a 4 bedroom, 4k sq ft (lot is 10k sq ft) for $445k and it even has a pool Thumbs Up




Edited by sexyandfamous - Feb 03 2013 at 1:50pm]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 13:42:13 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116140.html#10116140 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : I think I need to move to Texas....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116032.html#10116032 Author: Derri
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:32pm


I think I need to move to Texas.
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:32:44 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116032.html#10116032 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : we&#039;re looking in Allen and...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116024.html#10116024 Author: iGotSunshine
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:28pm

we're looking in Allen and McKinney. (suburbs of dallas) 
real estate so cheap even if u dont get a foreclosure u can get a nice home for 150k 
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:28:04 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116024.html#10116024 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : damn, I nee to move to Texas....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116016.html#10116016 Author: Derri
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:23pm

damn, I nee to move to Texas. What city is that in? ]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:23:50 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116016.html#10116016 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : SamoneLenior wrote:I think...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116010.html#10116010 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:21pm

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


I think we are on the same page TC

I don't care what people do with the gifts I give them either

if I am helping you pay a bill or purchase an item, you need to pay the bill or buy that item
 
Handshake
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:21:46 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116010.html#10116010 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : oh okay, well like others said...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116011.html#10116011 Author: SamoneLenior
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:21pm


oh okay, well like others said get everything in writing

I agree with the last part of your post IG
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:21:38 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116011.html#10116011 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : ThoughtCouture wrote: ...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116007.html#10116007 Author: iGotSunshine
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:19pm

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

If I'm gifting someone a home, guess what? I'm letting you know what I'm gifting. The home, not the furniture and everything else for the home. Unless I was planning to furnish the home too, which...by the way...is entirely up to me to decide.

That's my whole point. No one is manipulating me into doing anything for them, just because we're related.

A gift is not a never ending thing.
 
i totally agree...

trueeee 


Samone i dont think she "needs a home" she owns her mobile home 
s/o was going to help her upgrade but now she's doing too much 

i just feel that it's drama waiting to happen so i told him to look at this foreclosed home for 50k and put some walmart furniture in it. sign everything over to her and whatever she does with it, is what she does with it.



]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:19:42 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116007.html#10116007 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : Derri wrote:If I&#039;m gifting...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116004.html#10116004 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:16pm

Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

If I'm gifting someone a home, guess what? I'm letting you know what I'm gifting. The home, not the furniture and everything else for the home. Unless I was planning to furnish the home too, which...by the way...is entirely up to me to decide.

That's my whole point. No one is manipulating me into doing anything for them, just because we're related.

A gift is not a never ending thing.
 
i totally agree...
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:16:33 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116004.html#10116004 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : SamoneLenior wrote:my POV...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116002.html#10116002 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:15pm

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


my POV is tied to how I treat money that is given to me

if I say I want/need x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

if you offer to give me x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

I have never taken money for one thing and did something else with it
 
 
well...in this case, the only reason why i asked him before hand is because i planned to get whatever gift he said and wrap it up and give it to him.  time just got away from me, so i ended up giving him a cash equiv instead.  me asking, had absolutely zero to do with holding his feet to the fire for expressing what he thought he might want for his bday which i intended to give a gift for regardless.  if he had said...i don't really know...he probably STILL would have gotten a cash gift of a similar amount anyway, which is why i could have cared less what he did with it...
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:15:52 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10116002.html#10116002 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : SamoneLenior wrote:so would...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115993.html#10115993 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:09pm

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


so would he be giving the house as a gift or is he buying it b/c she needs a house
 
well it depends, imo...but that's what sunshine and her hubby would need to determine.
 
sounds like she is perfectly happy to stay in her trailer...which is where she would be, if it were me and i didn't want to "give" her a house...  but if i wanted to give it to her, and i had it like that,  i wouldn't care about all that other stuff...
 
if my goal was to help her, and i had it like that and i thought she was shaky...then i would feel the need to put some safegaurds in place to protect her.
 
if my goal was to help her, and i DIDN'T have it like that and i thought she was shaky...then i would feel the need to put some safegaurds in place to protect her AND myself....
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:09:24 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115993.html#10115993 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : my POV is tied to how I treat...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115986.html#10115986 Author: SamoneLenior
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:05pm


my POV is tied to how I treat money that is given to me

if I say I want/need x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

if you offer to give me x amount to buy something, that is what I buy

I have never taken money for one thing and did something else with it
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:05:18 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115986.html#10115986 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : If I&#039;m gifting someone a...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115985.html#10115985 Author: Derri
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:04pm

If I'm gifting someone a home, guess what? I'm letting you know what I'm gifting. The home, not the furniture and everything else for the home. Unless I was planning to furnish the home too, which...by the way...is entirely up to me to decide.

That's my whole point. No one is manipulating me into doing anything for them, just because we're related.

A gift is not a never ending thing.
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:04:43 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115985.html#10115985 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : I think we are on the same page...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115982.html#10115982 Author: SamoneLenior
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:03pm


I think we are on the same page TC

I don't care what people do with the gifts I give them either

if I am helping you pay a bill or purchase an item, you need to pay the bill or buy that item
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:03:31 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115982.html#10115982 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : SamoneLenior wrote: ThoughtCouture...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115979.html#10115979 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 12:01pm

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

well, i was giving him a gift for his bday anyway...i had asked him what he wanted before hand.
 
so, if you give someone a wedding gift from their registry and they exchange it for something else...you gonna be mad?
 
now if he had asked me for a lap top specifically to help him for school...i would probably feel some kind of way, if he took the money and got something else....


no

I always give gifts with gift receipts

I agree with the bold
 
Confused  then what is the difference.  gift receipts give the option to get something else.
 
i gave my cousin a bday gift of cash.  sure he said he wanted a tablet...but if he had changed his mind because the he found he didn't like it afte he played with it in the store or did further research or for whatever reason...why would i think he lied or be mad if he got something else...
 
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:01:55 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115979.html#10115979 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : so would he be giving the house...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115966.html#10115966 Author: SamoneLenior
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:54am


so would he be giving the house as a gift or is he buying it b/c she needs a house
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:54:33 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115966.html#10115966 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : SamoneLenior wrote:that&#039;s...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115963.html#10115963 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:53am

Originally posted by SamoneLenior SamoneLenior wrote:


that's like when people ask for money to pay a bill and never pay said bill......you can't trust them after that
 
to me that is not a gift...they are claiming to NEED help...
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:53:13 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115963.html#10115963 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : ThoughtCouture wrote: well,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115964.html#10115964 Author: SamoneLenior
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:53am

Originally posted by ThoughtCouture ThoughtCouture wrote:

well, i was giving him a gift for his bday anyway...i had asked him what he wanted before hand.
 
so, if you give someone a wedding gift from their registry and they exchange it for something else...you gonna be mad?
 
now if he had asked me for a lap top specifically to help him for school...i would probably feel some kind of way, if he took the money and got something else....


no

I always give gifts with gift receipts

I agree with the bold
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:53:09 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115964.html#10115964 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : well, i was giving him a gift...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115960.html#10115960 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:51am

well, i was giving him a gift for his bday anyway...i had asked him what he wanted before hand.
 
so, if you give someone a wedding gift from their registry and they exchange it for something else...you gonna be mad?
 
now if he had asked me for a lap top specifically to help him for school...i would probably feel some kind of way, if he took the money and got something else....
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:51:59 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115960.html#10115960 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : that&#039;s like when people ask...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115958.html#10115958 Author: SamoneLenior
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:50am


that's like when people ask for money to pay a bill and never pay said bill......you can't trust them after that
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:50:15 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115958.html#10115958 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : We buyin&#039; houses for people...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115957.html#10115957 Author: Sang Froid
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:49am

We buyin' houses for people who can take care of themselves?
sh*t, buy me a house. I make way less than them.
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:49:47 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115957.html#10115957 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : I would, I consider that a lie ...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115949.html#10115949 Author: SamoneLenior
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:46am


I would, I consider that a lie
]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:46:46 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115949.html#10115949 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : mycousinsaid he wanted a tablet...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115940.html#10115940 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:37am

my cousin said he wanted a tablet for his bday.  i gave him the money for it.  if he had bought something else with the money, i wouldn't have gave a damn...shrugs...

]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:37:39 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115940.html#10115940 <![CDATA[When do you cut someone off financially? : dq Edited by iGotSunshine -...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115938.html#10115938 Author: iGotSunshine
Subject: 354203
Posted: Feb 03 2013 at 11:36am

dq 




Edited by iGotSunshine - Feb 03 2013 at 11:42am]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 11:36:14 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/when-do-you-cut-someone-off-financially_topic354203_post10115938.html#10115938