Black Hair Media Forum : My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ Sun, 19 May 2013 05:19:09 +0000 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 10:17:07 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 10.15 360 Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=354004 <![CDATA[Black Hair Media Forum]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com//forum_images/BHM_Logo_v5_Forum.jpg http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : He must not have his green card......po&#039;...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10108166.html#10108166 Author: mizzsandra00
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 30 2013 at 10:17am

He must not have his green card......po' thang.....he aint no fool......can you say sacrifice? ]]> Wed, 30 Jan 2013 10:17:07 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10108166.html#10108166 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : That would be cute if someone...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10108012.html#10108012 Author: nitabug
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 30 2013 at 8:41am

That would be cute if someone wanted to do that.]]> Wed, 30 Jan 2013 08:41:29 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10108012.html#10108012 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Interesting dynamics. ]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107769.html#10107769 Author: foxyroy19
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 30 2013 at 12:11am

Interesting dynamics.]]> Wed, 30 Jan 2013 00:11:59 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107769.html#10107769 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : I knew she was controlling him...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107765.html#10107765 Author: laceyfront
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 30 2013 at 12:09am

I knew she was controlling him before I even came in here, smh. I would have lost respect for him as well.

]]> Wed, 30 Jan 2013 00:09:33 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107765.html#10107765 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Ladybird0724 wrote: JasmineE02...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107644.html#10107644 Author: catredtip
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 10:48pm

Originally posted by Ladybird0724 Ladybird0724 wrote:

Originally posted by JasmineE02 JasmineE02 wrote:

Tell them to be careful.  I just saw this news article: http://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-accused-fraud-name-change-act-love-224309320.html

MIAMI (Reuters) - A newly married South Florida man who opted to take his wife's last name is fighting the state's Department of Motor Vehicles after it suspended his driving license on grounds of fraud.

Dead


LOL I was just about to post this


+2
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 22:48:49 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107644.html#10107644 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : So ]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107032.html#10107032 Author: bebe88
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 5:18pm

So]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 17:18:08 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10107032.html#10107032 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : SweetNovember* wrote:Has...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106724.html#10106724 Author: maysay1
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 3:09pm

Originally posted by SweetNovember* SweetNovember* wrote:

Has anyone been called a hater yet?


Why would anyone be called a hater?
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 15:09:12 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106724.html#10106724 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Ds2nice wrote:Hey i don&#039;tthinkany...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106719.html#10106719 Author: maysay1
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 3:07pm

Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

Hey i don't think any less of the dude for changing his name.   So OP- do you think that its cool and justified for a woman to change her last name?? 



I think it's fine either way. I know people where the wife changed, the husband changed, or they both took on new names.


]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 15:07:50 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106719.html#10106719 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : JasmineE02 wrote:Tell them...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106390.html#10106390 Author: Ladybird0724
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 12:01pm

Originally posted by JasmineE02 JasmineE02 wrote:

Tell them to be careful.  I just saw this news article: http://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-accused-fraud-name-change-act-love-224309320.html

MIAMI (Reuters) - A newly married South Florida man who opted to take his wife's last name is fighting the state's Department of Motor Vehicles after it suspended his driving license on grounds of fraud.

Dead


LOL I was just about to post this
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 12:01:56 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106390.html#10106390 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : lol. po fellaI almost got caught...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106268.html#10106268 Author: PurpleHaze
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 10:57am

lol. po fella

I almost got caught in something like that with dmv when we tried to switch tags on a car registered to my husband with one registered to both of us. Apparently that's legal b/w spouses but when names are not the same you need to provide proof of marriage first.

eta: if your last names are the same, they assume you're married so no proof is needed. That's hilarious to me.


Edited by PurpleHaze - Jan 29 2013 at 10:58am]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:57:07 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106268.html#10106268 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Tell them to be careful. I just...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106208.html#10106208 Author: JasmineE02
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 10:16am

Tell them to be careful.  I just saw this news article: http://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-accused-fraud-name-change-act-love-224309320.html

MIAMI (Reuters) - A newly married South Florida man who opted to take his wife's last name is fighting the state's Department of Motor Vehicles after it suspended his driving license on grounds of fraud.

Dead
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 10:16:27 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106208.html#10106208 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Hey i don&#039;tthinkany less...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106147.html#10106147 Author: Ds2nice
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 9:18am

Hey i don't think any less of the dude for changing his name.   So OP- do you think that its cool and justified for a woman to change her last name?? 



Edited by Ds2nice - Jan 29 2013 at 9:22am]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 09:18:27 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106147.html#10106147 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Gia2009 wrote: maysay1 wrote: ...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106111.html#10106111 Author: creole booty
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:57am

Originally posted by Gia2009 Gia2009 wrote:


Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:


Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:


Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

is being non-traditional an important part of your identity?


Yes, I think so. Though I have been trying to objectively evaluate why that is recently.

Funnily enough, this sister is the one who I'm least close with and being non-traditional is her identity. It's one of the reasons we don't get along...partly because I always feel like she's doing way too much. I don't want to be like that, that's for sure.


i think this what i was trying to ask


i dont think you need to examine yourself too much. i just think you don't like her & her shen.angiansLOL


Ain't that the truth.

She used to attend a white privilege support group. I think I'm still mad at her for that.


Stern Smile Are you guys white? This whole time I was thinking she's black!


Maysay is black but some of her fam is white. ]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:57:55 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106111.html#10106111 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Junior Jr wrote:Simp ass...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106103.html#10106103 Author: *Belle*Femme*
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:53am

Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Simp ass Brotha

jr.
He a simp because he took his WIFE's last name. OTAY]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:53:59 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106103.html#10106103 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : maysay1 wrote:And it makes...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106090.html#10106090 Author: Afrocentchic
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 8:42am

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

And it makes me respect him just a little bit less.

So one of my sister's just got married a few weeks ago. And her husband is taking her last name. I just find it...not very "manly". And I'm completely annoyed with myself for feeling this way because normally I'm so supportive of the non-traditional. I think part of it is that she appears to run all over him. For example, their wedding seemed to have nothing of him or his culture in it (he's from Chile).

Anyway, I'm surprised at myself for feeling this way. I feel kind of bad for not living up to my own ideals. Y'all ever experience that?
we've been conditioned to believe patriarchy is a norm and it's hard to undo years of that. Don't be to hard on yourself about it. Even in your description of their relationship, she seems to be running things however depending on religious/cultural views, he was doing the running it would be considered "headship" and therefore normal.
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:42:07 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10106090.html#10106090 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : He&#039;s latino and he allowed...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105956.html#10105956 Author: newdiva1
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 4:22am

He's latino and he allowed this?  it's gotta be for papers.
 
 
*dappled shade*
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 04:22:31 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105956.html#10105956 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Has anyone been called a hater...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105954.html#10105954 Author: SweetNovember*
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 4:16am

Has anyone been called a hater yet?]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 04:16:20 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105954.html#10105954 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Qualified wrote:I&#039;ve...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105952.html#10105952 Author: EPITOME
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 4:13am

Originally posted by Qualified Qualified wrote:

I've tasted a vegan cake before, and in all honesty, if I had to compare it to anything I'd compare it to... Sweetened Recycled Brown Paper Towels.


lol. yuckers
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 04:13:24 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105952.html#10105952 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : ScorpioLuv wrote:Is it a...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105851.html#10105851 Author: modelbusiness82
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 12:12am

Originally posted by ScorpioLuv ScorpioLuv wrote:

Is it a cultural thing? Bc we take the husband's name here in America but in some other countries, they take the wife's name. Heritage goes with the mother, its the reverse here. Too many kids wind up having daddies name and then mom gets divorce, so it looks crazy when it doesnt match. 


Not necessarily...in PRican culture, even if the wife hyphenates her last name, the child can sometimes just keep the mother's last name. Maybe not so much for those born in the mainland, but for ppl who still live on the island, it's a normal custom.
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 00:12:27 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105851.html#10105851 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : I dont see what the big deal is ...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105847.html#10105847 Author: Gkisses
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 29 2013 at 12:00am

I dont see what the big deal is 
]]> Tue, 29 Jan 2013 00:00:11 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105847.html#10105847 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Is it a cultural thing? Bc we...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105815.html#10105815 Author: ScorpioLuv
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:28pm

Is it a cultural thing? Bc we take the husband's name here in America but in some other countries, they take the wife's name. Heritage goes with the mother, its the reverse here. Too many kids wind up having daddies name and then mom gets divorce, so it looks crazy when it doesnt match. ]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:28:44 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105815.html#10105815 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : I&#039;ve had good vegan cake...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105809.html#10105809 Author: rickysrose
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:23pm

I've had good vegan cake and im critical 

As far as the name bothering you, i don't think it's the non conformity that bothers you, it's probably the inequality that bothers you.   The fact that he didn't even get that, the name, that seems unjust.   If he was in control of everything or most and took your sister's name, I think you'd be pleased.  So youre still happily non conformist and still consistent, no worries


]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:23:19 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105809.html#10105809 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : everything seems nicer when people...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105786.html#10105786 Author: afrokock
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:09pm

everything seems nicer when people talk about it

however the reality is often something else

he is no less of a man however]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:09:17 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105786.html#10105786 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : maysay1 wrote: EPITOME...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105782.html#10105782 Author: Gia2009
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 11:06pm

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

is being non-traditional an important part of your identity?


Yes, I think so. Though I have been trying to objectively evaluate why that is recently.

Funnily enough, this sister is the one who I'm least close with and being non-traditional is her identity. It's one of the reasons we don't get along...partly because I always feel like she's doing way too much. I don't want to be like that, that's for sure.

i think this what i was trying to ask


i dont think you need to examine yourself too much. i just think you don't like her & her shen.angiansLOL


Ain't that the truth.

She used to attend a white privilege support group. I think I'm still mad at her for that.


Stern Smile Are you guys white? This whole time I was thinking she's black!
]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:06:34 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105782.html#10105782 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : maysay1 wrote: OrriannaRose...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105475.html#10105475 Author: modelbusiness82
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:49pm

Originally posted by maysay1 maysay1 wrote:

Originally posted by OrriannaRose OrriannaRose wrote:

Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:



So no dairy milk, no eggs. So it's a cake that lacks eggs and dairy.


 
Stern Smile That is not a cake. LOLStern Smile


Exactly.

I would rather she had served oreos (as far as I know those are considered vegan).

As someone else said, it depends on the caterer though. I've had great vegan food at restaurants. The venue only worked with certain caterers though.

My other sister is getting married at the beginning of March but thankfully we're going to a restaurant afterward. That wedding is going to be another interesting affair though because his family are devout muslims and don't even want them to kiss at the wedding.


sounds like your family courts controversy. :)
]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:49:19 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105475.html#10105475 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : James Avery wrote:so she got...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105474.html#10105474 Author: Midwest_Da_Gawd
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:49pm

Originally posted by James Avery James Avery wrote:

so she got him by the nuts, eh? sad.


Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

Simp ass Brotha

jr.


Originally posted by Qualified Qualified wrote:

And with that his scrotum has now dissipated into granulated dust!


Originally posted by el_bandido el_bandido wrote:

That's a weak Brotha move 


Welp! Beer
]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:49:06 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105474.html#10105474 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : OrriannaRose wrote: modelbusiness82...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105467.html#10105467 Author: maysay1
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:43pm

Originally posted by OrriannaRose OrriannaRose wrote:

Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:



So no dairy milk, no eggs. So it's a cake that lacks eggs and dairy.


 
Stern Smile That is not a cake. LOLStern Smile


Exactly.

I would rather she had served oreos (as far as I know those are considered vegan).

As someone else said, it depends on the caterer though. I've had great vegan food at restaurants. The venue only worked with certain caterers though.

My other sister is getting married at the beginning of March but thankfully we're going to a restaurant afterward. That wedding is going to be another interesting affair though because his family are devout muslims and don't even want them to kiss at the wedding.
]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:43:42 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105467.html#10105467 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : I&#039;ve tasted a vegan cake...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105459.html#10105459 Author: Qualified
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:37pm

I've tasted a vegan cake before, and in all honesty, if I had to compare it to anything I'd compare it to... Sweetened Recycled Brown Paper Towels.]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:37:05 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105459.html#10105459 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : modelbusiness82 wrote: So...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105456.html#10105456 Author: OrriannaRose
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:33pm

Originally posted by modelbusiness82 modelbusiness82 wrote:



So no dairy milk, no eggs. So it's a cake that lacks eggs and dairy.


 
Stern Smile That is not a cake. LOLStern Smile
]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:33:53 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105456.html#10105456 <![CDATA[My brother-in-law took my sister's last name... : Definitely out of the ordinary,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105436.html#10105436 Author: Midna
Subject: 354004
Posted: Jan 28 2013 at 8:24pm

Definitely out of the ordinary, but I'm not mad.]]> Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:24:24 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/my-brotherinlaw-took-my-sisters-last-name_topic354004_post10105436.html#10105436