Black Hair Media Forum : Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ Sun, 19 May 2013 14:52:40 +0000 Sun, 10 Feb 2013 20:20:50 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 10.15 360 Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=351451 <![CDATA[Black Hair Media Forum]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com//forum_images/BHM_Logo_v5_Forum.jpg http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : ]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post10132835.html#10132835 Author: FarraFace
Subject: 351451
Posted: Feb 10 2013 at 8:20pm

]]> Sun, 10 Feb 2013 20:20:50 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post10132835.html#10132835 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : ^^2 seems a bit young to loc hair....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9964745.html#9964745 Author: modelbusiness82
Subject: 351451
Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 9:40pm

^^2 seems a bit young to loc hair. :-/]]> Sun, 02 Dec 2012 21:40:57 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9964745.html#9964745 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Omg Im so sad I just had a visit...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9964619.html#9964619 Author: Alias_Avi
Subject: 351451
Posted: Dec 02 2012 at 9:01pm

Omg Im so sad Cry

I just had a visit from my cousins and my baby cousin's (the 2 year old) hair is being loc'ed! Shocked

I touched her hair and she slapped her hands on her lil head and said "don't touch it" (in her lil chimpmunk voice lol)
I said "Whyy? It's so Pretty!" And she nods her head as if to say "No"
I said "You don't think you're hair is pretty? Ouch"

She goes "No" and then climbs into my lap to watch Dora the Explorer Cry

I don't know what to do. I tell her it's pretty but I don't see her enough for it to make a difference I feel?

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:

Colorism is definitely alive and well... But don't assume that this is everyone's experience just because they are ls.

I have two lil cousins, ages 4 and 2. The 4 year old is deep brown in complexion (like her father) and 2 year old is light yellow (like her mother except a lil lighter). However, the 4 year old has loose wavy hair (like Halle Berry's daughter) and the 2 year old has extremely tiny, tight coils (aka "naps")

The mother (a light woman btw) said one day referring to the 4 year old... "Oh, my baby got hair like her great-grandma! How did that happen!?!"

She looks at her 2 year old and says "WTF is this sh*t!?" Ouch ... I was shocked (still mad at myself for not saying anything) but thankfully the lil girl was only 1 at the time

However, I don't doubt for a second that the 2 year old is gonna grow up with a complex about her hair despite her being so beautiful (both lil girls are cuter than average in my humble opinion)

Her mother is gonna transmit, what I call an STD, to her... Spiritually Transmitted Disease

A parent does not have to explicitly state their bias against their children in order for their children understand their parent feels that something isn't right with them

It will be bad enough for her to grow up watching her older sister being complimented by random people off the street because she's "really cute" with her 2c - 3b category curls (it's already happened) but people will probably assume that she gets treated better because she's really light complected (not to say she won't, in relation to other kids but most of us tend to attribute our most memorable experiences to our upbringing). Our childhood experiences is when we learn how to measure ourselves


]]> Sun, 02 Dec 2012 21:01:51 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9964619.html#9964619 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : that or some important male figurehead...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959751.html#9959751 Author: darkbarbie
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 6:44pm

that or some important male figurehead .....i didn't have my father but i had 5uncles and a grandpa that cherished me like i was their own. So I know what to expect from a good man because of them]]> Fri, 30 Nov 2012 18:44:36 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959751.html#9959751 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : fakeizme wrote: Derri wrote: ...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959579.html#9959579 Author: Becky
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 5:49pm

Originally posted by fakeizme fakeizme wrote:

Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:




I completely agree with this. And i'd like to add on to it.
Growing up, i loved my mother. I still do. My mother is the best and everyday I am thankful for the woman she has taught me to be. However, the feeling I felt inside when my father kissed me, rocked me, took me on dates is like I was bursting inside. I had been going on dates a few times a week with my father from the time I could eat solid food because when i was born, in the hospital he told my mom that he can't wait to take me for hamburgers and milkshakes. My mom gave him the side eye because I was about..3 hours old.

He really couldn't wait and as soon and I was able to eat meals like that, that man took me on our dates. I remember them vividly even now. He liked mints a lot, a special kind of mint that sells in Guyana. I was so small so his breath came down onto my face. The mints are black and smell like licorice and I eat them sometimes when I miss my father.
I was falling in love with my father. He paid me attention, he told me I was beautiful, he hugged and kisses me. He was gentle with me and took his time while driving, stopping to check me and pinch my cheeks or kiss my ear. He loved to kiss my ears. He looked me in the eyes and said I love you honey, you are my special baby Derri. I have lots of love letters from my father professing his love to me. I write him as well. What i'm getting at is, my father's love made me confident. When I started to mature, I expected certain things from men. i held them to the standard of my father. I knew what kind of love to look for. One that professes love to me always, is gentle, giving, and unafraid to show it.
As a woman, I got my life values from my mother, but my confidence from my father. As a teen, he wrote me love letters telling me that my acne didn't make me any less of the person. Omg young and dumb with blackgirlproblems i even vented about my nappy hair to him. He comforted me in letters about that as well.

Our fathers are sooo important for our self esteem.
Not knowing if OP has her father or not, (and my father and I have a very complicated relationship) but I was inspired to share based on what alias_avi wrote. The world is effed up, but our parents and family can do their part in strengthening and thereby preparing us for it. And our little black baby boys and girls need it the most.
That's beautiful.
I totally agree. Great story and well told.
 
Your father should be the first man that loves you - otherwise you often end up with these losers that just taken advantage of you or you end up in the big rediculous drama type relationships.
(Rhiana and Halle for example)
 
This is a major reason why women should WAIT to give birth until they are in a stable relationship.
 
Soooo important to have a father in the home.
]]> Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:49:07 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959579.html#9959579 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : eanaj5 wrote:this ls/ds is...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959441.html#9959441 Author: fakeizme
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 4:36pm

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

this ls/ds is getting really old. while i do empathize with anyone who has ever felt inadequate/out of place because of their appearance, i believe this argument can be substituted with thin/fat, skin problems/no skin problems, glasses/no glasses, having style/not having style etc. everyone is attracted to different things. period. not everyone who thinks ls folk are attractive have been brainwashed. Not everyone who isnt attracted to ds are coons. I dont care for ls men and im ls, so am i self hating? some of you all need to find it with in yourself to be happy with what you have and work with it. life is way too short to be worried about who you arent getting attention from.
This is the winner.
]]> Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:36:51 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959441.html#9959441 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Derri wrote: Alias_Avi...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959432.html#9959432 Author: fakeizme
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 4:32pm

Originally posted by Derri Derri wrote:

Originally posted by Alias_Avi Alias_Avi wrote:




I completely agree with this. And i'd like to add on to it.
Growing up, i loved my mother. I still do. My mother is the best and everyday I am thankful for the woman she has taught me to be. However, the feeling I felt inside when my father kissed me, rocked me, took me on dates is like I was bursting inside. I had been going on dates a few times a week with my father from the time I could eat solid food because when i was born, in the hospital he told my mom that he can't wait to take me for hamburgers and milkshakes. My mom gave him the side eye because I was about..3 hours old.

He really couldn't wait and as soon and I was able to eat meals like that, that man took me on our dates. I remember them vividly even now. He liked mints a lot, a special kind of mint that sells in Guyana. I was so small so his breath came down onto my face. The mints are black and smell like licorice and I eat them sometimes when I miss my father.
I was falling in love with my father. He paid me attention, he told me I was beautiful, he hugged and kisses me. He was gentle with me and took his time while driving, stopping to check me and pinch my cheeks or kiss my ear. He loved to kiss my ears. He looked me in the eyes and said I love you honey, you are my special baby Derri. I have lots of love letters from my father professing his love to me. I write him as well. What i'm getting at is, my father's love made me confident. When I started to mature, I expected certain things from men. i held them to the standard of my father. I knew what kind of love to look for. One that professes love to me always, is gentle, giving, and unafraid to show it.
As a woman, I got my life values from my mother, but my confidence from my father. As a teen, he wrote me love letters telling me that my acne didn't make me any less of the person. Omg young and dumb with blackgirlproblems i even vented about my nappy hair to him. He comforted me in letters about that as well.

Our fathers are sooo important for our self esteem.
Not knowing if OP has her father or not, (and my father and I have a very complicated relationship) but I was inspired to share based on what alias_avi wrote. The world is effed up, but our parents and family can do their part in strengthening and thereby preparing us for it. And our little black baby boys and girls need it the most.
That's beautiful.
]]> Fri, 30 Nov 2012 16:32:50 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959432.html#9959432 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : i dont think people treat lighter...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959385.html#9959385 Author: fakeizme
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 30 2012 at 3:50pm


[/QUOTE]

i dont think people treat lighter skin curly haired exotic or whatever you wanna call them better in everyday situations. i think maybe moreso in the entertainment industry but not at regular places of employment, school etc. i actually think that people who look like this (less black) are more likely to be treated badly by other black people who dont fit that" look"

hope that made sense im on my phone[/QUOTE]
True and has happened to me.
]]> Fri, 30 Nov 2012 15:50:10 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9959385.html#9959385 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Yeah, it does matter.It&#039;s...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957947.html#9957947 Author: Aerie
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 11:21pm

Yeah, it does matter. 

It's weird, I grew up in a family where my mom was lighter than my dad. I always thought my dad was so handsome, so I never had that "dark skin is bad" complex. 
I remember being like 5/6 and wanting to have darker skin so bad!
Then my little brother was born and he's got my father's complexion and he is just SO HANDSOME, so I've always had close positive thoughts towards it. I was so shocked when I started to see how negatively some people viewed it. 

Unfortunately, attractiveness matters in this world to most. Not to all, but to most. And there's this stigma on what's deemed attractive. 
I've noticed it's black people who have more hang ups on dark skin, and obviously black features than non-black people. And it's the immigrants that have prejudices rather than that non-immigrants. 

I believe that everyone is truly beautiful. 
No one is ugly, and that if I find someone to be unattractive, then that's my loss not theirs, because I don't value their beauty. 
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 23:21:58 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957947.html#9957947 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : intrigued. ]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957700.html#9957700 Author: foxyroy19
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 9:56pm

intrigued.]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 21:56:03 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957700.html#9957700 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Aunty Ruckus wrote:This is...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957508.html#9957508 Author: FarraFace
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 8:17pm

Originally posted by Aunty Ruckus Aunty Ruckus wrote:

This is what all the shrinks say though - THE FAMILY has the biggest influence on a child - no matter what society says.

Yes, society might omit Black beauty in The States (not so much in other places) but it's what your immediate family communicates to you - whether verbal or non verbal that truely defines who you are.

BHM has made me really appreciate the value of being raised by a family of vain ass women. LOL
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:17:13 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957508.html#9957508 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : babyk94 wrote:Op you are...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957411.html#9957411 Author: discreet.
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 7:30pm

Originally posted by babyk94 babyk94 wrote:

Op you are Sooo sweet

Thank you babyk, that's so nice of you. You are too. Smile Thanks for giving your opinion earlier.
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 19:30:17 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957411.html#9957411 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Junior Jr wrote:post a pic,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957406.html#9957406 Author: discreet.
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 7:29pm

Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

post a pic, op

no offense, but you might not be that pretty

jr.

I know I am certainly not pretty. I mentioned earlier that those women in the photos are much more beautiful physically than I could ever possibly be! LOL

I hope you didn't interpret what I said as an insult towards women who look like this because I show them much gratitude. 
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 19:29:32 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957406.html#9957406 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : BeatriceBean wrote: zsazsa...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957294.html#9957294 Author: Becky
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:48pm

Originally posted by BeatriceBean BeatriceBean wrote:

Originally posted by zsazsa zsazsa wrote:

Really interesting subject. I used to see how people would fawn over my light skin niece but ignore her darker younger sibling (they look very much alike) extremely hurtful. I found myself overcompensating on dashing out compliments to the little one a lot more often. I fawn over both of them but went the extra mile with her. It's like people don't even see the features - just colour. How dumb. 

I have even seen it on here. People are so quick to let you know their skin tone is light in a post for no reason. Cringe-O-Meter. 

I remember when I was expecting my son and a friend was like 'OMG he is going to be SO light'. My son is actually darker than both his father and I. What a frikking stupid thing to say in the first place? and she wasn't alone. From the minute he was born, people kept telling me he was dark - like how come he didn't get our skin tone? ask god. People are so DUMB. 

Colourism is a disease that needs to be stomped out. It's such a desperate sad way to live. 
 
Seriously. My mother begged me not to marry my husband because he's dark-skinned. I took my son over to my parents' house after he was born. The first words out of my mother's mouth were, "I knew that he was going to be dark. It's fine because he's a boy, but you don't want a girl that color." I didn't even tell her that I was having another girl because I didn't want any of her toxic energy.
 
My mom told my youngest daughter that she would be so pretty if only she were as light as her older sister. I don't think we talked for maybe 15 years after that.
 
WOW .. glad you had the presence of mind to keep your kids away from your mother's damanging influence.Dead
 
This is what all the shrinks say though - THE FAMILY has the biggest influence on a child - no matter what society says.
 
That's why when I hear Black women complaining about being 'dark' etc .. I don't believe 'society' is really the blame. Yes, society might omit Black beauty in The States (not so much in other places) but it's what your immediate family communicates to you - whether verbal or non verbal that truely defines who you are.
 
Good on you for saving your girls from that kind of harm
 
(My mother always told us we were  beautiful .. and we believed her ... THANK GOD!)!Clap
 


Edited by Becky - Nov 29 2012 at 6:53pm]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:48:20 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957294.html#9957294 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Sang Froid wrote: eanaj5...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957249.html#9957249 Author: eanaj5
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:24pm

Originally posted by Sang Froid Sang Froid wrote:

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

Not necessarily. I was told that I was beautiful multiple times a day by my parents EVERYDAY when i was younger (and they still do it) I didnt believe it. Why? Because I chose to believe what society had to say.  It was an effort for me to break away from that and truth be told I still struggle. My parents love me more than anyone on this planet ever will, yet I didnt believe them. 

Why didn't you choose to believe your parents then since you have the ability to choose what to believe and what not to believe?

Look most of the people who have issues are *&%^$#@Eed over by the people that love them as well as society. As a LS person what did society say about you?

I still dont know tbh, maybe I thought they had to tell me that because I was their child and thought the "unbiased" opinions were more "accurate"? idk. and it had more to do with my overall appearance rather than just my skin color, although I cant remember a time where I was 'favored' or 'praised' for my skin tone. I did receive negative remarks from some of my DS peers and some extended family members tho. And in my personal HS experience, skin tone didnt matter not one lick. not one.
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:24:25 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957249.html#9957249 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Junior Jr wrote:post a pic,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957248.html#9957248 Author: modelbusiness82
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:23pm

Originally posted by Junior Jr Junior Jr wrote:

post a pic, op

no offense, but you might not be that pretty

jr.


side eye
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:23:29 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957248.html#9957248 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : post a pic, opno offense, but...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957241.html#9957241 Author: Junior Jr
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:20pm

post a pic, op

no offense, but you might not be that pretty

jr.
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:20:41 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957241.html#9957241 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : The whole colorism thing is very...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957237.html#9957237 Author: AmyAmyAmy
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:19pm

The whole colorism thing is very annoying.
I hate how people are just brushed aside because of one feature.
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:19:18 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957237.html#9957237 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : eanaj5 wrote:Not necessarily....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957235.html#9957235 Author: Sang Froid
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:18pm

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

Not necessarily. I was told that I was beautiful multiple times a day by my parents EVERYDAY when i was younger (and they still do it) I didnt believe it. Why? Because I chose to believe what society had to say.  It was an effort for me to break away from that and truth be told I still struggle. My parents love me more than anyone on this planet ever will, yet I didnt believe them. 

Why didn't you choose to believe your parents then since you have the ability to choose what to believe and what not to believe?

Look most of the people who have issues are *&%^$#@Eed over by the people that love them as well as society. As a LS person what did society say about you?
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:18:16 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957235.html#9957235 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Op you are Sooo sweet ]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957228.html#9957228 Author: babyk94
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 6:14pm

Op you are Sooo sweet ]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 18:14:59 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957228.html#9957228 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : eanaj5 wrote:Not attacking...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957096.html#9957096 Author: discreet.
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 5:18pm

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

Not attacking you OP, im generalizing. I really hope that you find your comfortable place one day soon. It is a struggle sometimes, that I know Hug

I understand what you were saying. I actually truthfully didn't intend for it to be a light skin or dark skin issue. It's just the look at hand, that has raised question to me. Embarrassed

I appreciate you're response regardless. It's very much a struggle, but hopefully one day I'll be able to enjoy my life and feel much happier. After all that's what living is for. Lots of love and many hugs back to you. Star
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:18:48 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957096.html#9957096 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Not necessarily. I was told that...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957094.html#9957094 Author: eanaj5
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 5:18pm

Not necessarily. I was told that I was beautiful multiple times a day by my parents EVERYDAY when i was younger (and they still do it) I didnt believe it. Why? Because I chose to believe what society had to say.  It was an effort for me to break away from that and truth be told I still struggle. My parents love me more than anyone on this planet ever will, yet I didnt believe them. ]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:18:32 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957094.html#9957094 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : eanaj5 wrote:this is true,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957073.html#9957073 Author: Sang Froid
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 5:05pm

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

this is true, but people are assholes. But It is your choice to believe what they say or not. 

Yea, but the if the people closest to you...the ones that are supposed to love you and have your best interest at heart are saying these things....you kind of believe it, no?
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:05:27 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957073.html#9957073 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : put it this way, when you &#039;fancy&#039;...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957069.html#9957069 Author: Lilaca
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 5:02pm

put it this way, when you 'fancy' someone you treat them nicer because you find them attractive, ergo if society has a common sense of what's pretty and that person has that quality everyone will be nicer to them.]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 17:02:05 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957069.html#9957069 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : this is true, but people are assholes....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957065.html#9957065 Author: eanaj5
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:58pm

this is true, but people are assholes. But It is your choice to believe what they say or not. ]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:58:44 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957065.html#9957065 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : eanaj5 wrote:this ls/ds is...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957049.html#9957049 Author: Sang Froid
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:49pm

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

this ls/ds is getting really old. while i do empathize with anyone who has ever felt inadequate/out of place because of their appearance, i believe this argument can be substituted with thin/fat, skin problems/no skin problems, glasses/no glasses, having style/not having style etc. everyone is attracted to different things. period. not everyone who thinks ls folk are attractive have been brainwashed. Not everyone who isnt attracted to ds are coons. I dont care for ls men and im ls, so am i self hating? some of you all need to find it with in yourself to be happy with what you have and work with it. life is way too short to be worried about who you arent getting attention from.

Having preferences is fine, but no one should feel the need to put others down because they don't look a certain way. 
]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:49:57 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957049.html#9957049 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : lol feel what way? thats a big...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957039.html#9957039 Author: eanaj5
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:42pm

lol feel what way? thats a big paragraph]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:42:56 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957039.html#9957039 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : eanaj5 wrote:this ls/ds is...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957021.html#9957021 Author: babyk94
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:36pm

Originally posted by eanaj5 eanaj5 wrote:

this ls/ds is getting really old. while i do empathize with anyone who has ever felt inadequate/out of place because of their appearance, i believe this argument can be substituted with thin/fat, skin problems/no skin problems, glasses/no glasses, having style/not having style etc. everyone is attracted to different things. period. not everyone who thinks ls folk are attractive have been brainwashed. Not everyone who isnt attracted to ds are coons. I dont care for ls men and im ls, so am i self hating? some of you all need to find it with in yourself to be happy with what you have and work with it. life is way too short to be worried about who you arent getting attention from.
I used to feel this way but, idk ]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:36:40 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957021.html#9957021 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : Not attacking you OP, im generalizing....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957002.html#9957002 Author: eanaj5
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:29pm

Not attacking you OP, im generalizing. I really hope that you find your comfortable place one day soon. It is a struggle sometimes, that I know Hug]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:29:33 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9957002.html#9957002 <![CDATA[Does anyone feel that "People who look a certain " : this ls/ds is getting really old....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9956996.html#9956996 Author: eanaj5
Subject: 351451
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 4:26pm

this ls/ds is getting really old. while i do empathize with anyone who has ever felt inadequate/out of place because of their appearance, i believe this argument can be substituted with thin/fat, skin problems/no skin problems, glasses/no glasses, having style/not having style etc. everyone is attracted to different things. period. not everyone who thinks ls folk are attractive have been brainwashed. Not everyone who isnt attracted to ds are coons. I dont care for ls men and im ls, so am i self hating? some of you all need to find it with in yourself to be happy with what you have and work with it. life is way too short to be worried about who you arent getting attention from.]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 16:26:41 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/does-anyone-feel-that-people-who-look-a-certain_topic351451_post9956996.html#9956996