Black Hair Media Forum : crush advice needed http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ Sat, 25 May 2013 08:16:30 +0000 Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:32:39 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 10.15 360 Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=350945 <![CDATA[Black Hair Media Forum]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com//forum_images/BHM_Logo_v5_Forum.jpg http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Jess wrote:Forget about him....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9957537.html#9957537 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 29 2012 at 8:32pm

Originally posted by Jess Jess wrote:

Forget about him.  
I introduced myself to this guy thinking he was shy (he would always stare at me).  Just told him my name and asked about his major.
Just. don't. do. it.  I regret doing this and this happened a year ago.  Probably flipped the roles forever.  The guy was not shy at all.  He just wasn't into me because he would talk to girls...just not me.  Now I just ignore him.


Hey Jess, from what you described it sounds like what you did was harmless. It's not like you threw yourself at him. You were just making friendly conversation. At least you finally were able to confirm that he wasn't interested. I think knowing (good or bad) is better than wondering what if. You did the right thing to keep it movin when you realized he wasn't interested. I think that would have been the mistake if you didn't, not the fact that you approached him. ]]> Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:32:39 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9957537.html#9957537 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Becky wrote:Umm forget about...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9945116.html#9945116 Author: Jess
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 24 2012 at 8:48pm

Originally posted by Becky Becky wrote:

Umm forget about him. You are absolutely wasting your time on a guy .. if he can't figure out a way to walk across the hall and talk to you. DUH!
 
This guy might find you 'attractive' .. but finding you attractive is not the same thing as being 'interested' in you. GUYS ARE NOT SHY! That is what (young) women tell themselves when they like a guy and he does not ask her out. This guy is not interested in you - period.
 
You already said it best when you said '.. I don't want to make excuses for him because he is a grown ass man that should be capable of going after what he wants.,;;' So take you own advice.
 
I repeat .. forget about him and don't you DARE approach him and introduce yourself to him or in anyway initiate contact. You are supposed to attract men .. so that THEY will initiate a conversation with you.Confused
 
If you do approach him first  .. you will absolutely screw up the balance of power between the two of you .. and you will NEVER get that back.
 
You know what guys think when you hit on THEM? They think .. 'What's wrong with this girl? I am surprised this beautiful girl is coming to ME. This is because beautiful women are beating the guys off with a stick ... NOT HITTING on guys themselves Shocked unless .. they don't know they are beautiful (have self esteem issues) , they want sex right now (read freak!) so now they know you are gonna be easy, they are desperate (read lonely) or .... they are psycho (watch out)!
 
Beautiful women (INSIDE AND OUT)  do not chase men and your finding an excuse talk to him ... means you are chasing him.This will SURELY lower his value for you.Dead
 
Move on.
 
DO NOT 'moon' over men! Men are supposed to be mooning OVER YOU!  DUh!
Never?Disapprove]]> Sat, 24 Nov 2012 20:48:20 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9945116.html#9945116 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Forget about him. I introduced...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9944161.html#9944161 Author: Jess
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 24 2012 at 9:36am

Forget about him.  
I introduced myself to this guy thinking he was shy (he would always stare at me).  Just told him my name and asked about his major.
Just. don't. do. it.  I regret doing this and this happened a year ago.  Probably flipped the roles forever.  The guy was not shy at all.  He just wasn't into me because he would talk to girls...just not me.  Now I just ignore him.
]]> Sat, 24 Nov 2012 09:36:12 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9944161.html#9944161 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Becky wrote:Umm forget about...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9943309.html#9943309 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 23 2012 at 4:26pm

Originally posted by Becky Becky wrote:

Umm forget about him. You are absolutely wasting your time on a guy .. if he can't figure out a way to walk across the hall and talk to you. DUH!
 

This guy might find you 'attractive' .. but finding you attractive is not the same thing as being 'interested' in you. GUYS ARE NOT SHY! That is what (young) women tell themselves when they like a guy and he does not ask her out. This guy is not interested in you - period.

 

You already said it best when you said '.. I don't want to make excuses for him because he is a grown ass man that should be capable of going after what he wants.,;;' So take you own advice.

 

I repeat .. forget about him and don't you DARE approach him and introduce yourself to him or in anyway initialte contact. You are supposed to attract men .. so that THEY will initiate a conversation with you.Confused

 

If you do approach him first  .. you will absolutely screw up the balance of power between the two of you .. and you will NEVER get that back.

 

You know what guys think when you hit on THEM? They think .. 'What's wrong with this girl? I am surprised this beautiful girl is coming to ME. This is because beautiful women are beating the guys off with a stick ... NOT HITTING on guys themselves Shocked unless .. they don't know they are beautiful (have self esteem issues) , they want sex right now (read freak!) so nowtrhey know you are gonna be easy, they are desparate (read lonely) or .... they are psycho (watch out)!

 

Beautiful women (INSIDE AND OUT)  do not chase men and your finding an excuse talk to him ... means you are chasing him.This will SURELY lower his value for you.Dead

 

Move on.

 

DO NOT 'moon' over men! Men are supposed to be mooning OVER YOU!  DUh!
I respect your opinion but I definitely don't agree that initiating conversation with a man is the same as chasing him. It's just human interaction, nothing wrong with that. As long as you're doing it in a friendly/casual way and not in a thirsty or desperate way]]> Fri, 23 Nov 2012 16:26:34 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9943309.html#9943309 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Umm forget about him. You are...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9941791.html#9941791 Author: Becky
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 22 2012 at 4:47pm

Umm forget about him. You are absolutely wasting your time on a guy .. if he can't figure out a way to walk across the hall and talk to you. DUH!
 
This guy might find you 'attractive' .. but finding you attractive is not the same thing as being 'interested' in you. GUYS ARE NOT SHY! That is what (young) women tell themselves when they like a guy and he does not ask her out. This guy is not interested in you - period.
 
You already said it best when you said '.. I don't want to make excuses for him because he is a grown ass man that should be capable of going after what he wants.,;;' So take you own advice.
 
I repeat .. forget about him and don't you DARE approach him and introduce yourself to him or in anyway initialte contact. You are supposed to attract men .. so that THEY will initiate a conversation with you.Confused
 
If you do approach him first  .. you will absolutely screw up the balance of power between the two of you .. and you will NEVER get that back.
 
You know what guys think when you hit on THEM? They think .. 'What's wrong with this girl? I am surprised this beautiful girl is coming to ME. This is because beautiful women are beating the guys off with a stick ... NOT HITTING on guys themselves Shocked unless .. they don't know they are beautiful (have self esteem issues) , they want sex right now (read freak!) so nowtrhey know you are gonna be easy, they are desparate (read lonely) or .... they are psycho (watch out)!
 
Beautiful women (INSIDE AND OUT)  do not chase men and your finding an excuse talk to him ... means you are chasing him.This will SURELY lower his value for you.Dead
 
Move on.
 
DO NOT 'moon' over men! Men are supposed to be mooning OVER YOU!  DUh!


Edited by Becky - Nov 22 2012 at 5:08pm]]> Thu, 22 Nov 2012 16:47:23 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9941791.html#9941791 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : ^ Appreciate your advice. I don&#039;t...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9940287.html#9940287 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 21 2012 at 9:34pm

^ Appreciate your advice. I don't want to be naive but I do agree that some guys may be shy. I asked my father his opinion and the first thing he said was it sounds like he is shy. My dad is not one to sugar coat things, he's a man's man and believes in traditional male/female roles in relationships. But he said he knows what it's like to feel too intimidated by a woman to approach her. I definitely plan on introducing myself to this guy, just waiting for the right opportunity. At least then I'll know more where he stands before deciding to just give up before I even get to know him. ]]> Wed, 21 Nov 2012 21:34:31 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9940287.html#9940287 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : BoutThatLife wrote:I&#039;m...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9939931.html#9939931 Author: 313chick
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 21 2012 at 6:30pm

Originally posted by BoutThatLife BoutThatLife wrote:

I'm sorry OP but this guy doesnt like you. Move on. No man is gonna intentionally break and not make eye contact with a woman he has some interest in. I dont even think its a matter of him feeling neutral to you, this dude do not like you periodConfused
Some guys can be shy tho... I actually had a guy that was too shy to talk to me because he felt like he was not good enough for me last semester and the truth came out from one of his friends this semester that I knew. I was wondering why he was always nervous around me.  Sometime guys can be extremely shy to approach women they think that is out of their lead...

Theres nothing wrong with you OP telling the dude hi or making small convo. But let him do the rest of the work.  Or you can even be friends with him first


]]> Wed, 21 Nov 2012 18:30:31 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9939931.html#9939931 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : I can&#039;t help liking him,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9939772.html#9939772 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 21 2012 at 5:12pm

I can't help liking him, but of course I am keeping my options open...]]> Wed, 21 Nov 2012 17:12:28 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9939772.html#9939772 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : BoutThatLife wrote:I&#039;m...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9939731.html#9939731 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 21 2012 at 4:55pm

Originally posted by BoutThatLife BoutThatLife wrote:

I'm sorry OP but this guy doesnt like you. Move
on. No man is gonna intentionally break and not make eye contact with a
woman he has some interest in. I dont even think its a matter of him
feeling neutral to you, this dude do not like you periodConfused



Thank you for your opinion. We'll see how things go... ]]> Wed, 21 Nov 2012 16:55:44 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9939731.html#9939731 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : I&#039;m sorry OP but this guy...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9938272.html#9938272 Author: BoutThatLife
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 20 2012 at 11:35pm

I'm sorry OP but this guy doesnt like you. Move on. No man is gonna intentionally break and not make eye contact with a woman he has some interest in. I dont even think its a matter of him feeling neutral to you, this dude do not like you periodConfused]]> Tue, 20 Nov 2012 23:35:51 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9938272.html#9938272 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Positive K wrote:Is this dude...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9934846.html#9934846 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 19 2012 at 1:10pm

Originally posted by Positive K Positive K wrote:

Is this dude black?

No he is Persian-American. ]]> Mon, 19 Nov 2012 13:10:00 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9934846.html#9934846 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : *braidbeauty* wrote:Emily,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9932517.html#9932517 Author: Emily Loretta
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 18 2012 at 10:16am

Originally posted by *braidbeauty* *braidbeauty* wrote:

Emily, thanks for your advice. I actually tell myself this in my head. It is easier said than done because that's just how I've always been, even as a child. Plus, I have a way of thinking negative thoughts about how things will go if I do say hello. I am trying to work on building my confidence. But you're totally right, if I don't take a chance, I could miss out on a great opportunity.


Do you have a guy friend or girl friend you can practice on? Try practicing to say hello. Or even better, dress up sexy, break out of your norm, go to a mall outside of your town, far outside your town, create a new persona for yourself and go practice to say hi to hot guys at the mall and be flirty.  
]]> Sun, 18 Nov 2012 10:16:52 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9932517.html#9932517 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Emily, thanks for your advice....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9932147.html#9932147 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 11:36pm

Emily, thanks for your advice. I actually tell myself this in my head. It is easier said than done because that's just how I've always been, even as a child. Plus, I have a way of thinking negative thoughts about how things will go if I do say hello. I am trying to work on building my confidence. But you're totally right, if I don't take a chance, I could miss out on a great opportunity. ]]> Sat, 17 Nov 2012 23:36:08 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9932147.html#9932147 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : If you were interested, you would...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9931193.html#9931193 Author: Emily Loretta
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 2:56pm

If you were interested, you would say something. I always go up and talk to guys I like. But I'm extroverted and a socialite, I love to meet new people. I'm not sure about you, but when people say hi to someone, the other person usually responds with a hi back. I honestly never got why shy people think that someone wouldn't talk to them back. Anyways have you ever thought that by NOT speaking him it makes YOU seem like your uninterested. Hell I hold my mail mans gaze sometimes; staring does not mean you like them it means they happened to be in the way when your eyes landed in the direction. Either man up and speak to him, or watch as some other woman is a go-getting socialite gets him, and then you can't say anything because it was your own fault for not saying a word.]]> Sat, 17 Nov 2012 14:56:53 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9931193.html#9931193 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Hey all, thanks for your advice....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928956.html#9928956 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 1:01pm

Hey all, thanks for your advice. I found out he is a cancer by stalking his facebook page I had to make sure we would be compatible and astroloically we are (cancer and Scorpio). I too have concerns that he isn't interested because of the eye contact thing, but some say guys who do that may actually like you but are shy. Is that more common in teenage boys? I don't think he knows I like him. We don't see each other enough for him to have any idea that I like him. I don't think my body language shows it either. bunny, you asked have I talked to him? No, I have not:(]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 13:01:28 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928956.html#9928956 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : I would never recommend after...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928278.html#9928278 Author: Midna
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 3:28am

I would never recommend after going for someone in the workplace...

Also, if the guy is avoiding eye contact intentionally, that's not a good sign..
]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 03:28:25 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928278.html#9928278 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : LOL..He probably doesn&#039;t...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928179.html#9928179 Author: BBpants
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 12:22am

LOL..He probably doesn't want to talk to you if he's avoiding eye contact]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 00:22:37 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928179.html#9928179 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : He knows you&#039;re interested...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928165.html#9928165 Author: khivey
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 12:08am

He knows you're interested in him and he wants to make it utterly clear that he is not interested. Trust me, a man who is interested or attracted to you would at least smile and say hello. And stop stalking that man's job profile...hahaha You don't know him but you know he is a Cancer hahahaa]]> Fri, 16 Nov 2012 00:08:03 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928165.html#9928165 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Next time u see him just say &#034;Hey...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928040.html#9928040 Author: GLAMAFROMNY
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 10:22pm

Next time u see him just say "Hey my name is .....and I work in the .....dept, I usually see you around. What's your name" I agree with the little nudge. If anything he might be just as shy as u

]]> Thu, 15 Nov 2012 22:22:48 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928040.html#9928040 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Hmmm that&#039;s a really tricky...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928009.html#9928009 Author: AffirmativeBunny
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 9:59pm

Hmmm that's a really tricky one hey.
Have you spoken to him at all before?
You said he is a cancer... how did you find that out?
Next time you make some eye contact just smile and say hi. Sometimes men just need to be nudged in the right direction. Or if you tend to bump into him in the same place everytime say something like "we must stop meeting like this" but remember to smile. Just make it very light-hearted you know. I really wish I had better advice but these things tend to be very tricky especially if it is a work thing.
 
]]> Thu, 15 Nov 2012 21:59:38 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9928009.html#9928009 <![CDATA[crush advice needed : Hey ladies. I would appreciate...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9927972.html#9927972 Author: *braidbeauty*
Subject: 350945
Posted: Nov 15 2012 at 9:46pm

Hey ladies. I would appreciate some advice. I have a crush on a guy at work. He works in a different department and we do not know each other and haven't even spoken. I just see him occasionally in passing in our building. Every time I see him and we make eye contact, he either looks away quickly or just avoids eye contact completely. I HATE THIS! I really want to get to know him, but I am an introvert and initiating conversation is quite daunting for me. Plus we are never in an environment that gives me the opportunity to introduce myself. I am not sure what to make of this. On one hand, I want to just forget about this guy because i have liked him for over 4 months and it has gone NO WHERE. He seems to be uninterested. But on the other hand, there could be different factors that are making him hold back (he may want to avoid a workplace relationship, he may not have a lot of experience dating black women, he could be in a relationship, he is a cancer and they tend to be quite sensitive, shy and protective of themselves/others). I don't know if I should take the eye contact thing as lack of interest or as him maybe being interested but unsure of how to proceed. I don't want to make excuses for him because he is a grown ass man that should be capable of going after what he wants, however I do acknowledge that for some this is easier said than done. I really want to approach him (not in a desperate or unprofessional way) and get to know him. What is the best way to do this in a casual way? I have tried to forget about him, but knowing myself I will not be able to move on with my infatuation until i experience for myself whether this guy could be right for me or not. I hate having to live with what-ifs. Thanks so much in advance. ]]> Thu, 15 Nov 2012 21:46:42 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/crush-advice-needed_topic350945_post9927972.html#9927972