Black Hair Media Forum : Asking Your S.O. First... http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:08:39 +0000 Sat, 12 Jan 2013 01:05:44 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 10.15 360 Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/RSS_post_feed.asp?TID=353294 <![CDATA[Black Hair Media Forum]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com//forum_images/BHM_Logo_v5_Forum.jpg http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/ <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : If an ex asked me to have lunch/dinner...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067482.html#10067482 Author: sexyandfamous
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 12 2013 at 1:05am

If an ex asked me to have lunch/dinner with him, I would check first with my boyfriend (currently nonexistent but whatever!) if it was cool with him.
I wouldn't want to get in trouble over a free meal!
]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 01:05:44 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067482.html#10067482 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : interesting question, I had to...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067207.html#10067207 Author: rickysrose
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 10:02pm

interesting question, I had to think about it

I only ask him, if I genuinely have a question about what I should do (strategically, professionally)

he does know what I'm up to because we talk all the time throughout the day

but if it was an event during the work day that I found out about mid day, he probably wouldnt know about it until I either spoke to him later in the day or at night ... I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to get approval first unless there was some sort of moral question

but if it were that drastic I wouldn't go, I wouldn't need him to tell me


]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 22:02:04 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067207.html#10067207 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : SWEETBREAD wrote:I&#039;m...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067175.html#10067175 Author: Lite Brite
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:48pm

Originally posted by SWEETBREAD SWEETBREAD wrote:

I'm not asking..............but I will respectfully let him know where I will be going.



This.

If I'm asking anything it would be if he wanted to come..or maybe if it was somehow related to a person he didn't care for
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:48:42 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067175.html#10067175 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : LOL ]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067157.html#10067157 Author: PurpleHaze
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:40pm

LOL]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:40:20 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067157.html#10067157 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : PurpleHaze wrote: and dead...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067150.html#10067150 Author: Jr1127
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:38pm

Originally posted by PurpleHaze PurpleHaze wrote:

and dead LOLat the intervention. I'm sure people who arent' really close to us think we need one too. Coworkers used to ask how I could be married to someone who was so mean. We're pretty evenly matched tho, but I think he's a tad bit nicer than me.

eta: he's much more blunt with his tho. I have tact LOLLOL
 
LOLLOLLOL Dang have the hubby take the rap but it you all a long!
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:38:23 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067150.html#10067150 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : and dead at the intervention....]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067138.html#10067138 Author: PurpleHaze
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:34pm

and dead LOLat the intervention. I'm sure people who arent' really close to us think we need one too. Coworkers used to ask how I could be married to someone who was so mean. We're pretty evenly matched tho, but I think he's a tad bit nicer than me.

eta: he's much more blunt with his tho. I have tact LOLLOL


Edited by PurpleHaze - Jan 11 2013 at 9:36pm]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:34:19 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067138.html#10067138 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : nitabug wrote: LOL. That&#039;s...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067130.html#10067130 Author: PurpleHaze
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:31pm

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

 
LOL. That's how me and the last person I was engaged to operated. Somebody would ask for something and I'd say, "Now you know he has my keys, you have to ask himSmile" Or "Idk, I'd have to ask him and see what we were doing."

We'd crack the hell up. Because as soon as they walked to him, he'd say no before they even asked. LMAO. He was such an asshole and I loved it.

I remember one time my 'friends' had a mini intervention and said he was controlling me. Funniest sh*t ever. & his friends did the same thing to him.


yes! this is the hub. and I LOVE it too.
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:31:32 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067130.html#10067130 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : PurpleHaze wrote: nitabug...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067106.html#10067106 Author: nitabug
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:20pm

Originally posted by PurpleHaze PurpleHaze wrote:

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Never operated like that engaged or otherwise.

If I said some sh*t like that, I didn't want to go in the first place.


yes this is the only time I will say "I have to ask..." If he's in the room, he already knows that's code for we don't want to go  and he plays the bad guy and says no. I love that manLOL. He does the same with me if it's some of his people (he'll say: I have to ask my wife, so I can turn them down)


LOL. That's how me and the last person I was engaged to operated. Somebody would ask for something and I'd say, "Now you know he has my keys, you have to ask himSmile" Or "Idk, I'd have to ask him and see what we were doing."

We'd crack the hell up. Because as soon as they walked to him, he'd say no before they even asked. LMAO. He was such an asshole and I loved it.

I remember one time my 'friends' had a mini intervention and said he was controlling me. Funniest sh*t ever. & his friends did the same thing to him.
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:20:17 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067106.html#10067106 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : I wonder how you said it for...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067098.html#10067098 Author: nitabug
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:15pm

I wonder how you said it for it to get their attention.

Edited by nitabug - Jan 11 2013 at 9:15pm]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:15:00 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067098.html#10067098 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : nitabug wrote:Never operated...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067094.html#10067094 Author: PurpleHaze
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:13pm

Originally posted by nitabug nitabug wrote:

Never operated like that engaged or otherwise.

If I said some sh*t like that, I didn't want to go in the first place.


yes this is the only time I will say "I have to ask..." If he's in the room, he already knows that's code for we don't want to go  and he plays the bad guy and says no. I love that manLOL. He does the same with me if it's some of his people (he'll say: I have to ask my wife, so I can turn them down)


Edited by PurpleHaze - Jan 11 2013 at 9:14pm]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:13:28 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067094.html#10067094 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : afrokock wrote:i think its...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067092.html#10067092 Author: Claudie
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:10pm

Originally posted by afrokock afrokock wrote:

i think its just respectful

your s.o is somewhat responsible for you to a degree

but in most situations i dont think the intent is to ask per se but more so to inform i think

just common courtesy

but its a fine line


I concur!
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:10:52 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067092.html#10067092 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : EPITOME wrote:my ls almost...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067052.html#10067052 Author: nitabug
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:51pm

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

my ls almost went to one of those w/her church.....we judged her lol and told her that was stupid

My aunt went to a singles bible study and found her husband. It worked for them.
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:51:54 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067052.html#10067052 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : Never operated like that engaged...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067046.html#10067046 Author: nitabug
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:49pm

Never operated like that engaged or otherwise.

If I said some sh*t like that, I didn't want to go in the first place.
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:49:59 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067046.html#10067046 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : EPITOME wrote:my ls almost...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067037.html#10067037 Author: Jr1127
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:46pm

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

my ls almost went to one of those w/her church.....we judged her lol and told her that was stupid
LOL Yeah those church workshop about being single are pointless! LOL
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:46:58 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067037.html#10067037 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : We usually consult each other,...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067012.html#10067012 Author: zolloh
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:33pm

We usually consult each other, no biggie.

buttermmm this past Thanksgiving he wasnt around and a bunch of us ladies did the Black Friday thing at Walmart nearly the whole night on Thursday. So the next day im telling him what I got on sale, how it was crazy, people fighting etc...he tells me im "forbidden" to do Black Friday again..."forbidden"?!!! Stern Smile who is you issuing decrees like you are the law, not even my daddy could forbid me Pinch
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:33:58 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10067012.html#10067012 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : bebe88 wrote:I don&#039;t...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066985.html#10066985 Author: Ladycoils
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:21pm

Originally posted by bebe88 bebe88 wrote:

I don't ask his permission, I just let him know what I'm going to do out of courtesy/ respect.
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:21:02 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066985.html#10066985 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : If its something that might make...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066981.html#10066981 Author: tropical-punch
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:18pm

If its something that might make him uncomfortable, sure.]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:18:34 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066981.html#10066981 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : bg wrote:Yesi don&#039;t make...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066966.html#10066966 Author: Limalady
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:09pm

Originally posted by bg bg wrote:

Yes

i don't make plans without consulting him first




Me too.]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 20:09:51 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066966.html#10066966 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : el_bandido wrote:I do it out...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066736.html#10066736 Author: iSMILE13
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 5:35pm

Originally posted by el_bandido el_bandido wrote:

I do it out of respect 

]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 17:35:40 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066736.html#10066736 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : PurpleHaze wrote:I don&#039;t...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066705.html#10066705 Author: *Belle*Femme*
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 5:16pm

Originally posted by PurpleHaze PurpleHaze wrote:

I don't but I don't see anything wrong with someone doing it.
when I'm a married/engaged woman it means that two are becoming one. Any move I make I will consult him and he needs to do the same with me. I believe its respectful. ]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 17:16:35 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066705.html#10066705 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : Didn&#039;t read the thread but...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066700.html#10066700 Author: ImThatDiva
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 5:13pm

Didn't read the thread but I give notice I'm going somewhere on a certain date out of respect and courtesy. If he has an issue with it, he'll let me know and we discuss.
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 17:13:05 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066700.html#10066700 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : carolina cutie wrote:There...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066697.html#10066697 Author: PurpleHaze
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 5:09pm

Originally posted by carolina cutie carolina cutie wrote:

There are workshops for being single? If you need a workshop, ya doing it wrong.LOL


amen
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 17:09:58 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066697.html#10066697 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : Well, here&#039;s my personal...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066692.html#10066692 Author: Ds2nice
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 5:08pm

Well, here's my personal experience on this (this may not be same issue for other ladies/gentlemen here).:
 
For many many years, I made it a habit/routine to consult with my hubby first before making a decision.  Because of my habit/routine, he had grown a habit/routine for me to include him in all of my decisions...even the decisions that I don't believe requires his opinions.  It was my fault because I had spoiled him to feel this way.
 
Now and for the future:  When it comes down to male companionships (including co-workers or etc.), i will make the decisions on whether i'm going to hangout with this individual.  I will provide this information to my husband for only information purposes and would not include him in my decision making unless i really need his opinion on it.  The same goes for him.  
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 17:08:48 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066692.html#10066692 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : my ls almost went to one of those...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066675.html#10066675 Author: EPITOME
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 4:59pm

my ls almost went to one of those w/her church.....we judged her lol and told her that was stupid]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:59:54 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066675.html#10066675 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : There are workshops for being...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066660.html#10066660 Author: carolina cutie
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 4:55pm

There are workshops for being single? If you need a workshop, ya doing it wrong.LOL]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:55:54 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066660.html#10066660 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : Oh stahp itI politely declined...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066651.html#10066651 Author: blaquefoxx
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 4:53pm

Oh stahp itLOL

I politely declined when I was invited to go to that ..erm meeting. I forgot the excuse I gave her...but I didn't wanna make her feel bad by saying I was already tooken (lol) and can' t relate.
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:53:56 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066651.html#10066651 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : blaquefoxx wrote: EPITOME...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066606.html#10066606 Author: goodm3
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 4:41pm

Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

were these women black?
Yup...

were they single?
Well I remembered one of them invited me to this workshop on being comfortable with being single awhile back. Later down the line when she found out I was engaged she was like Shocked I didn't know I was obligated to tell her smh...

The other 2 chicks, I'm not sure about though.

Details please! LOL
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:41:24 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066606.html#10066606 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : what? a workshop? lmaooooooooooooooo...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066590.html#10066590 Author: ThoughtCouture
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 4:38pm

what?  a workshop?  lmaooooooooooooooo]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:38:01 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066590.html#10066590 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : Exactly. ]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066584.html#10066584 Author: Jewelsnyc
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 4:36pm

Exactly. ]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:36:34 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066584.html#10066584 <![CDATA[Asking Your S.O. First... : blaquefoxx wrote: EPITOME...]]> http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066575.html#10066575 Author: Midwest_Da_Gawd
Subject: 353294
Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 4:33pm

Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

Originally posted by blaquefoxx blaquefoxx wrote:

Originally posted by EPITOME EPITOME wrote:

were these women black?
Yup...

were they single?
Well I remembered one of them invited me to this workshop on being comfortable with being single awhile back. Later down the line when she found out I was engaged she was like Shocked I didn't know I was obligated to tell her smh...

The other 2 chicks, I'm not sure about though.

LMFAO
]]> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:33:51 +0000 http://Forum.BlackHairMedia.com/asking-your-so-first_topic353294_post10066575.html#10066575