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50 Shades of Grey cast (supposedly)

 
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harley_quinn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote harley_quinn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 12:57pm
I remember when this book was big a hype, I read 1 review and didn't bother to try and read the book...here is the review I read, its kind of long

I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page.

Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!
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.hott.pink. View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .hott.pink. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 1:10pm
LOL I almost wanna read the books just to see exactly how trashy they are. 

I previously didn't even make it past the first page
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CLCNY20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 3:48pm
Originally posted by harley_quinn harley_quinn wrote:

I remember when this book was big a hype, I read 1 review and didn't bother to try and read the book...here is the review I read, its kind of long

I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page.

Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!
 
This was what I was warned about before I read the books, so I wasn't as angry as a bunch of other people after I read it...and found this all to be true LOL
 
When I saw a pic of the author, I was in shock:
 
 
I kept thinking, "holy God that a woman that age can write a book about twenty-something-year-olds as if they were teenagers"...


Edited by CLCNY20 - Apr 25 2013 at 3:48pm
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JoliePoufiasse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JoliePoufiasse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 3:49pm
I thought that book was about S&M type sex? My body ain't ready for none of that
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote ms_wonderland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 3:52pm
the popularity of this book series really pissed me off.  this book is only popular bc the characters are white.  from reading the first couple pages in the book store and reviews of ppl i know, it's very poorly written.  this could've been a Zane novel.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CLCNY20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 3:54pm
Originally posted by JoliePoufiasse JoliePoufiasse wrote:

I thought that book was about S&M type sex? My body ain't ready for none of that
 
I'm sure you've tried all of what is mentioned in this book.
 
Trust me--it sets you up for some 5 Star Upscale NYC Restaurant type BDSM, and delivers McDonalds type BDSM.
 
Spankings, a few whippings, feathers on cooches, and repetitive sex back-to-back.
 
This is some "My First BDSM Novel" Playskool type ish.  Trust me, you won't be shocked.
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niecy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote niecy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 6:08pm
I still have yet to read these books. I may be the only person who doesn't get the hype so I probably won't see the movie either unless it just so happens that someone else pays for me to see it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 7:54pm
Originally posted by Prazol60 Prazol60 wrote:

Originally posted by Flowing-Ice Flowing-Ice wrote:

im not seeing that movie. that corny ass book, that writing got me so upset. 

the secretary. >>>>>>>

<<<<< Story of O


I saw this in college w/ my BestF and her BF. What an interesting night that was.LOL

has that movie stood up thru time? People still like it?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CLCNY20 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2013 at 7:55pm
They need to make Anne Roquelaire's "Sleeping Beauty" series into a damn movie.  I'd bring my toy all up and through the theater for that one...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newdiva1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 26 2013 at 2:29am
^^^^^^^^U sure right.   That one ..I was like.......dang. 
 
 
 
That is the author?  well.....that storyline just might have been her personal fantasy when she was in her 20's.
 
 
oh and no shade to Matthew but I was thinking if I wanted to see Man of Steel then it occured to me.......he might be a better Christian.  He's pretty but he has a hard edge to his looks.
 
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