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4 Ways Being Too Nice Can Ruin Your Relationship

 
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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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    Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:21pm
Are you too giving and accommodating in your relationship? You may be setting it up to fail!

It is no secret that giving is a very important part of being in a relationship. But what happens when you give too much? Is there such a thing as being too accommodating, or too nice?

I like to think positively about every situation. I try to be accommodating and understanding when something comes up in a relationship that is an inconvenience to me, or that requires making some sacrifice. And while I think this is an important personal trait, I realize that it can have some negative consequences when presented in excess. Here are four ways being too nice can ruin your relationship.

1. You’re not seeing the situation as it really is. When you’re always looking through rose-colored glasses, you’re missing the reality of your situation. Yes, it is important to focus on the positive. But it is also important to recognize the negative, and weigh it fairly. If you have your head in the happy clouds, you may miss signs that the person you are dating isn’t interested in you or isn’t being respectful towards you.

2. You’re not showing your entire self. After a few dates with someone recently, I realized that I had only shown the nice, accommodating, giving side of myself. The tough Brooklyn girl didn’t show up at all, and that’s just as much a part of who I am. Perhaps it was the type of dates we had, or the deep conversation we entered into. Whatever the reason, things have certainly fizzled between us and I wonder if my good behavior was to blame.

3. Your behavior is not sustainable. People get used to how we treat them, but it is not possible to maintain unbalanced giving. At some point you’ll realize that you are giving more than your partner, and you’ll pull back. Your partner will notice a change in your behavior, and he’ll pull back too. It will be a downward spiral for the relationship.

4. You’re not perceived as a challenge. When you’re always giving and accommodating, your partner may think he no longer has to make any effort to keep you. He’ll think you will always be there, no matter how he treats you. With this in mind, he’ll become less concerned with your needs and wants. He’ll act more selfishly, and the relationship will suffer.


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mizzsandra00 View Drop Down
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Causes resentment and regret......
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ThoughtCouture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote ThoughtCouture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:25pm

#2 trumps all the rest imo...

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SamoneLenior View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote SamoneLenior Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:28pm


I do this a lot

not with my husband....I don't need to

but in other settings

but I think letting my crazy show makes me more interesting :)
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zolloh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Gkisses Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:31pm
I dont think its about being too nice  but more so about being a pushover. There is a difference imo.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:43pm
not at all
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PurplePhase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:44pm
Originally posted by zolloh zolloh wrote:



love the subtitle
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nekamarie83 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote nekamarie83 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:49pm
Originally posted by mizzsandra00 mizzsandra00 wrote:

Causes resentment and regret......
amen sister. 

to give constantly (in any relationship), implies that the recipient doesn't have to earn it or give anything back in return. 

it will eventually leave you burnt out and resentful that you get little to nothing in return. 
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rickysrose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote rickysrose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 22 2013 at 4:50pm
too nice?

don't see a problem if the person you are dealing with is nice too

can't see being fake mean working out for you either

maybe we need a scenario

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