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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 04 2013 at 2:37am
A few more weeks left with my love. It has been a fun and interesting summer getting to learn each other and adjusting to living with one another. On the upside...I've been falling more and more in love with him each day. He isn't perfect, I'm not perfect and it hasn't been the easiest adjustment, but we communicate and that is what makes us so much stronger. 
On the downside..I'm homesick as fck! lol I really want to go home and spend time with my family. It has been 3 years. My aunts and uncles are getting older, my father too...plus, as I've been studying French and adjusting to life in Paris, I've come to realize that I really need to know if relocating here to live is what I really want to do. It isn't easy..and that is the main thing for me. Doing what is best for me because at the end of the day I will need to create my own life outside of my life with him in order to make this a permanent thing and it isn't that easy... and all love aside..sh!t is difficult. 
What I do know is I want to be with him. I love him and he loves me and we want to be together, but where it works for the both of us. So for now..I'm going to leave it in God's hands and continue to enjoy the rest of this time and not think about it anymore. 



Edited by khivey - Sep 04 2013 at 3:45am
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missunfoolish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote missunfoolish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 04 2013 at 6:34am
been wanting him in my life again

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Printer_Ink View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 04 2013 at 10:49am
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

A few more weeks left with my love. It has been a fun and interesting summer getting to learn each other and adjusting to living with one another. On the upside...I've been falling more and more in love with him each day. He isn't perfect, I'm not perfect and it hasn't been the easiest adjustment, but we communicate and that is what makes us so much stronger. 
On the downside..I'm homesick as fck! lol I really want to go home and spend time with my family. It has been 3 years. My aunts and uncles are getting older, my father too...plus, as I've been studying French and adjusting to life in Paris, I've come to realize that I really need to know if relocating here to live is what I really want to do. It isn't easy..and that is the main thing for me. Doing what is best for me because at the end of the day I will need to create my own life outside of my life with him in order to make this a permanent thing and it isn't that easy... and all love aside..sh!t is difficult. 
What I do know is I want to be with him. I love him and he loves me and we want to be together, but where it works for the both of us. So for now..I'm going to leave it in God's hands and continue to enjoy the rest of this time and not think about it anymore. 

 
i have not read your previous posts .. but just commenting on this post .. I want to say that you are doing the right thing.
 
****
 if relocating here to live is what I really want to do. It isn't easy..and that is the main thing for me. Doing what is best for me because at the end of the day I will need to create my own life outside of my life with him in order to make this a permanent thing and it isn't that easy... and all love aside..sh!t is difficult
****
 
I moved next door .. to The Netherlands for Love and as a career move and it worked out well for me - even though I broke up with the guy. This was because I was not moving here JUST to be with him - but because I wanted a change because frankly Love is not enough of a motivation to move to another country, a new culture and learn another language. It is very, very difficult as you know so you have to stay because you want to stay .. not because you are in love.
 
I've seen a zillion examples of this actually .. American women married/partnered with European men but unable to adapt to a new culture but staying anyway and being unhappy.
 
So yes, learn your French, find your own work, gain your French Permanent Residence permit, create your own life with your own friends etc outside of the relationship so that whether things work out or not with this guy ... you have OPTIONS. Smile


Edited by Printer_Ink - Sep 04 2013 at 10:53am
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khivey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote khivey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 04 2013 at 3:56pm
Thanks Ink! 
I have no problem integrating into a culture. I LOVE learning new languages and meeting new people. I just need to figure out whether or not I want to return to the US for good or continue living abroad. It has been so long....I need time to really know what I want to do. You are right, it can't be just about love...but love will make you do some crazy things and I really need to see how in love I really am. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BBpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 05 2013 at 3:38am
I just realized how negative I was being. Instead of trying to making it work, I'm thinking of why it wouldn't work smh

We can make this work Smile I guess lol
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Printer_Ink View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 05 2013 at 11:37am
Originally posted by khivey khivey wrote:

Thanks Ink! 
I have no problem integrating into a culture. I LOVE learning new languages and meeting new people. I just need to figure out whether or not I want to return to the US for good or continue living abroad. It has been so long....I need time to really know what I want to do. You are right, it can't be just about love...but love will make you do some crazy things and I really need to see how in love I really am. 
 
I know a ton of (Black American) women living over here and they had the same question. Some went back without without the guy, some went back with the guy (he got a job over there), some stayed here and settled but they pack up the whole family a couple of times a year to visit all the family back home.
 
You'll figure it out. Wink
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missunfoolish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote missunfoolish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 6:11am


'this is the last time i try to make it work.. 
 yeah this is the last time i put you first'
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beebeexx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote beebeexx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 06 2013 at 1:48pm
he told me he loved me last night while he was very very drunk... idk if we should talk about it or not?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Printer_Ink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 07 2013 at 5:53am
i got your PM. Smile
 
Umm I did not reply to your post above is because I hate to restate the obvious ... as I have done again and again these threads.
 
The obvious answer is ... if a guy tells you he loves you when he is very, very drunk ... you should completely and totally disregard and forget about this comment.
 
COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY.
 
I hope you were not having SEX for goodness sakes ... when he said this? Ahhhh because that would mean that he really loves having his xxx inside of your xxx. That is what he loves at that moment. But that is not the same thing as being in love with you. Do not confuse the two.
 
He has to be sober and look you in the eye when he tells you he loves you and then HE has to initiate a nice conversation about your relationship etc ... Tongue 
 
Otherwise .. forget he ever said anything.Confused (shrugs) He was ... drunk.Dead
 
(On another note - some men are manipulative. They know what you want to hear so they say it so that they can get you to chase them in some manner or get the edge on you in some way.) There could be anything going on in his head really... but he has to tell you he loves you somethingalong the lines of what I indicated above ... if it's real, he's serious and he wants you to take him seriously.
 
Ummm do not let this man make a fool out of you by leading you to believe he can only reveal his real feelings to you .. when he's drunk. Noooo, because then I would think he's playing a head game with you. Confused
 


Edited by Printer_Ink - Sep 07 2013 at 6:15am
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missunfoolish View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote missunfoolish Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Sep 07 2013 at 8:18am
seems like both my recent exs benefited after we broke up
damn i cant be that bad

both of them have jobs and doing good for themselves

im starting to think i held them back
or i wasn't really helping them change
idk, good for them i guess

i just hate that everything happened after we went our own ways, while i was doing the most to hold them together, nothing good comes out of it for me
Ouch



Edited by missunfoolish - Sep 07 2013 at 8:20am
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