Sometimes we ALLOW ourselves to be USED and please GOD...don't have a child for a man...who views you as the fill in woman.....many times, that woman's life is taken so far out in left field and she never gets a chance to meet the "MAN" for her....cause she is so tied up with a person who never meant her any good from the start.
I know this scenario well because my mother was a fill in woman and had me. My father was never happy with "US"...he had several other women and kids, and in the end....my mother did not leave him until she was so "OLD"...in her early to mid 50's.....when if she had ....had the STRENGTH ....to cut him off 10000%...she might have found someone else....and had a new life. My mother wasted her life....she just prolonged what was going to happen anyway....its better to end it at 2 years then 12 years....its better to end it at 5 years...then 20 years.
We must end the mentality ....that says....I've been with James for 1 year, 5 years and I'm not going to end it cause I've invested too much time. Invested what...if it is not going to work....you are wasting your own LIFE. As I approach my mid 40s I know understand that time is priceless, you can't get those wasted years back.
I "dated" a man 15+ years ago and I realized after MANY MANY unknown ups and down...that I was the fill in woman....thank GOD...I did not have kids for him. And I thank GOD, I got out of the situation, I cried, was sad, but thank GOD...I ended it and ....now I am married to my HUSBBAND.
I pray at least one sister learns from this explanation...you have to learn how to be strong and cut someone back out of your life 1000% . You have to not let loneliness, not meeting someone new, let you go back, you have to sometimes change your number, don't call them or their family or friends, go new places, and just end it 1000% to keep your eye on the prize for your future and desires of having a husband/wife. and learn to understand when you are being USED.
I had to learn that not everyone who tells you during moments that they "love" you, need you, etc really have YOUR best interest at heart. Sometimes you have to love yourself enough to not sabotage your future for a temporary person who means you know good.
Edited by sunshine321511 - Oct 10 2013 at 9:48am