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NJHairLuv View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 24 2018 at 3:14pm
Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

Originally posted by NJHairLuv NJHairLuv wrote:

Originally posted by tatee tatee wrote:

i just finish spending hours transferring all my read books from bhm to goodreads. ive wanted to do it for years and im glad its done. 628 books transferred.  its amazing what i will spend my time doing.
I just looked up Goodreads - did their list of recommendations seem like it matched the types of books that you like?


this is my first time looking at the recommendations.  it looks like they only recommended books based on what im currently reading not on the books ive read.  so from what i see that wouldnt be very helpful.

AwwwOuchOuchOuch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 24 2018 at 3:44pm
Sad. I went to the dermatologist yesterday bc these light spots appeared on both sides of my neck earlier this month. The dr thinks that it is vitiligo and set me up with a steroid ointment which is the common treatment for vitiligo. I told my mom first knowing dammm well that she would make it about her, and she did.Ouch 

After explaining everything that happened at the doctors appt I said "I was prescribed an ointment to put on it that I have to take twice daily for 2 weeks". Anyone on the planet would have understood that I meant 'apply twice daily'. Instead of consoling me, she barks, "Take daily??? You have to take ointment daily??? They gave you an ointment that you have to take daily like a pill or an ointment that you have to apply daily???Geek".
I was rattled by her snapping at me and I said, I do not want to look like Michael Jackson and started crying. She snapped again, "WHY ARE YOU CRYING? YOUR DOCTOR SAID THAT SHE THINKS THAT YOU HAVE IT, NOT THAT YOU DEFINITELY HAVE IT!!! THEN SHE HUFFED AND SAID, I WILL SIT HERE AND LET YOU FINISH!" I calmly said, "You do not have to sit anywhere, ma. I'm done talking to you about it. Goodbye, bye ma" and hung up.

Called today to let her know that I have scheduled an appt for 2 wks from now to a hospital in NYC that has a center with dermatologists that specialize in patients with dark skin. Her comment? "HOW ARE YOU GOING ON THAT DATE??? WE WILL BE IN ATLANTA ON THAT DAY??? No Ma - We get home from Atlanta on a Sunday, the appt is on a Monday. Her response? "OH." with an attitude tone. 

I asked if there was a reason why she had an attitude in her tone and she went on a rant saying she took care of me as a baby and cared, so why wouldn't she care now and was about to go on and on about what she did/does as a mother and probably would say that she is not appreciated and that Im ungrateful (if you ever heard me talk about my mom, you know I have showered her with gratitude and love and honor her all throughout my life). I cut her off and said - It's not about you mom. Don't make it about you. It is about these light patches on my neck. "SHE YELLS, DID THE PATCHES GET WORSE??? DID THEY SPREAD??? I CAN NOT FORGIVE YOU FOR SAYING DONT MAKE IT ABOUT ME!!!". I got off the phone. Alright y'all, whether the fk the patches got worse since I saw her a few days ago doesn't have a dam thing to do with the doctor's preliminary diagnosis.  

in a nutshell, if any random person or relative tells her something sad, she is the most patient, sensitive, patiently listing person on the planet. I tell her that I may have a condition and start crying bc I know that if it advances, it could visibly disfigure my entire body and she gets short, nasty and is not tolerant to my emotions. I swear that I should not have told her. I already decided years ago that if I ever had cancer or a terminal illness that I wouldn't tell her and would just go for treatments without even saying anything to her, but I really made a mistake by telling her about the possible vitiligo and will never mention it to her again. NEVER. When I told my dad, he was as compassionate as he could muster up, and just said "Wow, I don't know what to say?", but that is typical Dad shyt, so I wasn't mad bc he at least had sympathy in his tone and isn't able to express emotion anyway like a lot of men in that generation, but my mom? SHeetttt, if it were the next door neighbor with possible, vitiligo she would have been so gentle and would be calling them to check on them and would send them a get well card. I get yelled at and minimized. I swear, most human beings should not reproduce.



ETA: Here is a photo of the possible vitiligo my neck. I don't know why tiny pic rotates all of my pictures to sideways:



Edited by NJHairLuv - Apr 24 2018 at 4:02pm
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Ds2nice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Ds2nice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 24 2018 at 6:01pm
NJ- I’m sorry that you are going this ordeal. I hope it’s not vitiligo. Try not to stress over it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote sbrownie84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2018 at 1:48am
sorry NJ.  Maybe your mom does not know how to handle her anxiety well and it shows up as 'annoying'

That patch reminds me of 'lotta' at least thats what they call it in the caribbean.  I think its called tinea versicolor..but im no derm so...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sbrownie84 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2018 at 1:51am
to follow your first instincts about a person... to be or not to be...that is the question
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2018 at 7:31am
Originally posted by Ds2nice Ds2nice wrote:

NJ- I’m sorry that you are going this ordeal. I hope it’s not vitiligo. Try not to stress over it.
Thank you so muchHeart
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NJHairLuv View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2018 at 7:41am
Originally posted by sbrownie84 sbrownie84 wrote:

sorry NJ.  Maybe your mom does not know how to handle her anxiety well and it shows up as 'annoying'

That patch reminds me of 'lotta' at least thats what they call it in the caribbean.  I think its called tinea versicolor..but im no derm so...
Thank you so much

 When the patches first appeared, I did some web searches and thought it was Tinea Versacolor and I put some glover's mane on it, then I used sulfur soap to wash my skin and then used sulfur ointment.
BUT, I read more about Tinea Versacolor versus Vitiligo and I had none of the symptoms of TV and all of the symptoms of vitiligo. When I went to the doctor, I didn't mention what I thought it looked like at all and I just let her do her job. She touched it and then she pulled out the ultraviolet light and looked at it and that is when she said it looks like vitiligo.
My second opinion is May 7th. Someone mentioned to me that thyroid issues (hypothyroidism) can cause vitiligo, so I am going to schedule a doctors appt asap so that I can get blood work done to see if my thyroid is out of balanceConfused.

Yep, my mom is really not good with handling truly stressful anxiety producing situations and she takes it out on me. I usually calm her down when it is about other people, but I aint having it when the situation is about me. I will not coddle any human being during MY health crisis.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote thickblkbarbie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2018 at 10:50pm
Yea don't stress to much about it , those spot might just stay the same size forever, and the ointment might help shrink them, I have small white spots on my legs , I thought I had that skin condition and saw a doctor as well , I was never given any ointment , but that was years ago and pretty much got over them, they just there and still the same size from 15 years ago
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NJHairLuv Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 26 2018 at 9:43am
Originally posted by thickblkbarbie thickblkbarbie wrote:

Yea don't stress to much about it , those spot might just stay the same size forever, and the ointment might help shrink them, I have small white spots on my legs , I thought I had that skin condition and saw a doctor as well , I was never given any ointment , but that was years ago and pretty much got over them, they just there and still the same size from 15 years ago
Thank you
That reminds me of an article that I read - This lady had a very small white spot on one finger that would come and go over the years. Then on her wedding day, she woke up with tell-tale enormous white patches on her face and neckShocked She wore coverup on her wedding day, but the vitiligo seems to be here to stay for her nowOuch Imma buy some dermablend and will keep a fresh tube on deck for the rest of my life, just in case.Stern Smile 

The Mississippi-based hairdresser tells SELF that she first had a small bout of vitiligo when she was in college. “It appeared on my finger and my doctor said it would go away,” she recalls. “It did—it just came and went.” Bedford says she would have little spots that would show up on her skin “here and there” but they all were tiny and would simply go away over time.

But in May, her fiancé had an undisclosed illness that Benford says was “really serious” and it happened around the same time as the couple was planning their wedding. “It was really stressful. I was worried about him,” she says. During that time, she noticed a little spot of vitiligo on her nose. “I thought it was going to go away, but it spread a little,” she says. Then, it spread across her face and developed on her hands. “I was just worrying and stressing over my husband and the wedding,” she says. Her doctors told her that stress may have triggered the condition, but they’re not entirely sure.

Unlike previous experiences, the vitiligo on Benford's face hasn't gone away, and she says she’s now come to terms with her skin condition. “I used to try to cover it up but now I just embrace it and be me,” she says. In fact, for her wedding day, she just wore a light layer of makeup. Her husband also been supportive. “He always told me I didn’t need to cover it up because I’m beautiful with it,” she says.

Although the link between vitiligo and stress isn't conclusive, we know that stress can do a number of (not great) things to your body—including impacting your skin. “Stress makes everything worse,” Gary Goldenberg, M.D., assistant clinical professor of dermatology at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital, tells SELF. And that’s true of physical and emotional stress—both can alter your immune system and increase production of the stress hormone, cortisol, causing increased inflammation that can trigger vitiligo.



Edited by NJHairLuv - Apr 26 2018 at 9:44am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote creole booty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 26 2018 at 10:47pm
I'm so sorry to hear this Nj. No matter what, you'll still be beautiful. My heart goes out to you. You've always displayed strength, and I pray that same strength gets you through this.
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